


Through Rose Coloured Glass

by Foreverwithoutyou



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Marauder friendship - Fandom, Marauders - Fandom, Marauders Era - Fandom
Genre: 1975, Angst, Cute, F/F, F/M, Fantasy, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Harry Potter - Freeform, Love, M/M, Magic, Order of the Phoenix - Freeform, Romance, War, first wizarding war, jily, voldermort - Freeform, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:47:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 49,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29565639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foreverwithoutyou/pseuds/Foreverwithoutyou
Summary: Two unlikely friends. From two different worlds. A blood traitor - a Death Eater to be. She was his muse. He was her rock. More alike then they ever thought. A perfect match, an epic love story, everything Ace Potter had ever imagined. Until they are forced onto opposing sides of a brewing war.Following Ace Potter; younger sister of James Potter; as she falls for her first love. As the first wizarding war begins to brew; Ace realises nothing is fair in love and war.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans, James Potter/Lily Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Marlene McKinnon/Narcissa Black, O/c/Regulus Black, Remus Lupin/Sirius Black, o/C/Remus Lupin, wolfstar - Relationship
Kudos: 8





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an opener/introduction (naturally). You may be a little thrown by the immediate introduction of crushes or whatever, but it really is necessary for the storyline and Ace’s character development. The main point of the story is depicting how powerful your first love can be. 
> 
> Anyway, I re-wrote this about a thousand times. I have no patience left for the first chapter. So, here it is. I hate it. But, trust the process, I guess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be every other day... I will add the second tomorrow once edited; just to see how it goes.
> 
> Please leave comments, I do love reviews. I thrive on them, really.

  
_“Falling in love with you was the easy part — it was admitting it to myself I found hard. The way I had built up these defence mechanisms, only for you to enter my heart in an entirely different way. I suppose, they were honestly meant for others. Now you’re here, I couldn’t possibly wish you gone.”_

_Prologue_

_August, 1975_

There was something lovely about reading a romance novel during the summer; seemingly endless free time where the sun was no stranger; allowing time to read and really resonate with the words. It was a time for re-reading old favourites, Ace Potter had found. She loved the feeling it gave her, that intimate fluttering in her stomach and melancholy ache when she came to the last pages and the final paragraph that pulled her heart into pieces. Each time it would have the girl longing for romance, more than anything else.

At only fourteen it was something she didn’t understand, having never been in love. That didn’t mean she never longed for it, though. Like the majority of teens; she urged to have what seemed impossible. The mere thought of an intimate experience brought on a small smile; gathering in the corner of her lips and only vaguely rising when the thoughts were allowed to deepen. It was moments like this, Ace wished to live in the daydreams and their rosy hued reality forever. They came often and quickly, bringing a life that passed in a rush of brightness, lead only by serene thoughts. 

She sighed then, sipping tentatively. Blissfully in aware that she wasn’t alone in the kitchen. Not anymore, as the iron latch of the kitchen pantry popped as it was eased into release. A sudden splash of sunlight on a usually shadowy corner of the kitchen was what caught her eye. Ace watched as the door eased open, just a slither and a relieved voice sounded from the crack. 

“Oh, it’s just Ace!”

A creak of the hinges and the door swung open, exposing a lanky teenaged boy; whose limbs stretched to fill the entire doorway. Muffled voices replied to the boys announcement, he looked over his shoulder muttering something Ace didn’t quite catch. They were up to something. They always were. She considered asking, but quickly decided against it, ignorance really was bliss. The boy turned back to her, a mischievous grin curling over his features. 

“Good morning, Remus,” Ace greeted politely, the mug of tea still hovering close to her lips. Remus’ grin widened in response.

Remus Lupin a close friend of Ace’s elder brother, was staying at the Potter residence for the remainder of the summer holidays. He was a tall boy of fifteen and one of the nicest people Ace had ever been acquainted with. There was something about him that Ace enjoyed. She certainly appreciated his love for reading and adherence to learning; mostly because she too shared these traits; however, Remus held a favourable place in Ace’s heart due too entirely different reasons all together. 

“I hope you’re having a pleasant morning?” Remus asked, a chorus of laughter erupted from inside the pantry, a stern look over his shoulder followed. “I bet you’re wondering why I’m in your kitchen pantry?” 

“Surprisingly - no. I’d prefer to remain ignorant to that for the foreseeable future,” Ace said with a serene and almost sardonic smile. She was no stranger to their incessant pranks. This was surely a making of another and Ace wanted to remain a third party for as long as possible. There was no time for Remus to reply, as he was rudely shunted from the doorway of the pantry by another boy.

He was shorter than Remus; with strong and defined features, often described as Godlike by the ladies of Hogwarts School. Sirius Black was certainly handsome. Encompassing the severe good looks and ethereal poise of a well bred wizard. Though, Ace failed to see what the fuss was about. Especially when Sirius Black was often seen next to Remus Lupin; in her opinion the handsomer of the pair. Tall, fair and mysterious - Remus was truly the better looking. Not that the two polar opposite boys should be compared, by any means, but if they had to be. Remus won by a mile. 

She had a particular soft spot for his amber eyes. Ace always seemed to notice them first, whether it was across a balcony in Hogwarts when he waved to her, or over the Gryffindor table at lunch, they managed to snag her gaze. Some would call them brown or amber coloured even. Ace much preferred to describe them as gold; like sunlight splashing onto open water, all liquified and magnificent. 

Then again, his eyes weren’t what Ace noticed first about this boy. It was his scars. Thick scrapes of pale pink flesh etched from the left temple, stretching diagonally across his face, before coming to an abrupt stop at the corner of his lips. They weren’t ugly, like Remus seemed to think they were, but rather unusual; as were many things about Remus Lupin. Ace hadn’t the slightest idea of how Remus had acquired such angry looking scars, but she supposed it added to the mystery of him and for that reason alone she didn’t ask. Ace barely noticed the scars now; they seemed to almost always disappear when he smiled. She enjoyed the effect of it, he had the most genuine smile. 

“That would be the best choice, young Ace,” Sirius jeered, hauling a duffle bag that clinked with every movement from the pantry doorway. His eyes flashed mischievously, flicking between Remus and Ace, before finally settling on Ace.

“Glorious morning isn’t it?” The sudden change of subject had Ace feeling particularly uneasy; she hoped whatever the boys were planning they’d leave her out of it. 

“It certainly is,” Ace murmured, eyeing the other two boys who followed Sirius from the pantry suspiciously. Both of them carrying mysteriously clinking bags. 

“Don’t go taddling, will you?” James Potter drawled with a roll of the eyes directed at Ace, who only snuffed in response. James’ jet black hair seemed messier this morning, sticking up in odd directions, at the same time perfectly styled. He’d grown over the summer and seemed to be filling out well, as his Father often praised. 

“When do I ever involve myself with your antics, James?” Ace asked dryly, flicking a thick, dark eyebrow at her brother.

He narrowed a bespectacled eye, glaring, as if threatening her to say another word. James would often glare at her like this; he didn’t like how Ace was beginning to talk back to him. He was starting to miss the days she’d shrink back and pout at any harsh word he uttered. James always had a tendency to take teasing too far; in a typical big brother fashion; then again, James Potter always took teasing too far. He and his friends were known to be antagonists at Hogwarts, always teasing those they didn’t like. Especially the Slytherin’s from their year group; the Marauders, as they called themselves, had a particular burning feud with them. Ace sometimes felt that James had a genuine feud with her too, for no reason other than the fact she had been born. 

“Just keep your mouth shut or I’ll wring your scrawny little neck, got it?” James threatened, with a surge of the foot that was meant to look menacing, yet come across as if he’d just slipped a little.

Ace snuffed again, willing her eyes not to roll too hard. Turning his attention back to the boys; James flashed a wolffish grin at the smallest boy on his left. Peter Pettigrew; a chubby lad with a boyish face, rounded by rosy cheeks. He chuckled impishly, shifting the duffle bag from one hand to the other, the unknown objects hopelessly weighing him down. 

*

_Chapter 1_

_August, 1975_

The rear grounds of the Potter Farmhouse held character only a wizarding garden could. It was possessed mainly by a smooth stoned patio and squares of neatly cropped grass, quartered into four areas by striking knee high rose bushes and loose stone pathways. These were not the most charismatic features of the grounds, but rather it’s foundations that ensured a picturesque look. 

Out in the back right corner, a large greenhouse protruded against the periwinkle sky. An array of stunning magical plants grew wildly from its open windows. Down at the footwork of the glass wall was Mrs Potter; kneeled in the dirt, pruning her beloved roses - a wide brimmed fedora covered her face, casting a gentle shadow over her aged features. Through the windows of the greenhouse Mr Potter could be seen tinkering with tomato plants; much to his wife’s dismay. Since the kids had returned from school they had heard nothing from Mr Potter, but proud outbursts about a potion he had been brewing that was sure to grow the best tomato’s they’d ever tasted.

Since selling his beloved hair potion business, twelve years prior, Mr Potter still pruned his infatuation with potion brewing. His field of expertise had been long rinsed of potential; leaving Mr Potter to turn his passion to vegetable growing. Insisting that he could improve the growth rate and tastiness by using potions he’d concocted. Mrs Potter, on the other hand, had grown cautious of her husbands ambitious creations since he’d managed to accelerate the growth of the previous tomato crops, so substantially that they burst from the greenhouse roof, wrecking the flowerbeds below. 

If Ace had been any closer to the greenhouse she’d have heard her Mother scolding her Father about his antics; threatening the man into keeping his distance from the chilli plants. (They were thriving this season). Mr Potter reasoned with his wife, claiming that his last potion hadn’t failed, rather it had worked too well. This time he was absolutely sure the potion would take splendidly and his wife would be sorry she’d ever doubted him. Of course, this was all in good spirit; the couple could often be heard quarrelling about something or other one moment and the next be in bursts of uncontrollable giggles as if they were two school children all over again. 

Ace could be seen sitting upright on a cushioned recliner with her legs crossed, her favourite book opened in her lap. For now she wasn’t reading, but looking over the swimming hole that her Father had worked on for some months prior to the end of the school term. Whilst the weather had been pleasant Ace had made good use of this spot; spending most of her free time reading by its edge. The view from that spot was ideal; bringing focus onto the entire garden. Which meant it was a canny opportunity to keep an eye on James and his friends; who were always up to some kind of mischief, before inevitably growing bored and invading Ace’s peace instead.

That summer had been a tad more bearable when it came to her torturous elder brother. Not long since school had broken up for summer Sirius had turned up in the dead of night with what seemed like his entire life packed into his school trunk. It was early morning when Ace awoke to the sound of laughter echoing from the North Grounds of the residence. It was the most pathetic, yet oddly wholesome sight Ace had ever seen. James and Sirius laid out on the lawn together watching the sunrise. The ordeal came to light at breakfast the following morning; Sirius and his parents had come to heads once again. And having enough of their blatant disregard for him; Sirius found himself in the garden of his best mate’s house. 

Since his first year at Hogwarts; Sirius had become an unofficial Potter, living out of the guest room whenever he stayed. It was no secret that Sirius had an estranged relationship with his parents. Initially borne when he had been placed into the house of Gryffindor; breaking a five hundred year tradition for the Black family. More so, Sirius seemed to enjoy pissing of his parents. Once in Gryffindor, Sirius made friends with blood traitors, half bloods and muggle borns; a very big no no for the Noble House of Black. In some ways, it could be seen as rebellion - Ace saw it as a hope to be dismembered from the family all together. A day that was sure to come if Sirius pushed his luck anymore. 

The familiar sound of leather slapping palms shattered the peace; as the boys barrelled across the garden, tossing a quaffle at astonishing speed. James screeched, daring any of the boys to drop it. There wasn’t anything Ace hated more than quaffles, especially when they were in the possession of James. At any given moment it could come flying at her face and there would be nothing she could do to stop it. 

It was growing hard to ignore the slapping of leather on hand - with every throw Ace grimaced, bracing herself for an unexpected blow from the ball. The sound slowed to a quieter thump, replaced by the rasping breaths of four teenaged boys. Peter gave up first, slumping down on the grass close to the swimming hole. Moments after Remus declared he was out, before slumping onto the recliner beside Ace, panting thickly. Ace looked up, shading her eyes with the palm of her hand, squinting against the blaze of the sun. 

Remus grinned, “What you reading?” He asked still struggling to catch his breath. His cheeks were flushed pink with heat; his forehead sticky with beads of sweat, the usual caramel tussles darkening with the moisture. 

“‘ _Be careful what you wish for_ ’” Ace replied softly, the edges of her lips curling into a small smile. 

Remus laughed a little before speaking, “Again?”

Merely shrugging a shoulder, a small smile deepened before breaking into a dazzling beam. Ace had been blessed with a contagious smile - the sort that seemed to brighten anything in its midst - including the face it was set upon. As if her eyes, spirit and lips were working as one to create a masterpiece of joy. 

“It is my favourite,” she mused, brushing a stray curl from her eyes.

Remus watched as she moved, the white t-shirt she wore shifted revealing a slither of bronzed skin beneath. He took the opportunity to admire her; she looked so much older now; her usual light tawny skin was darkened with a sun kissed glow - a dashing of freckles complimented the button of her nose and the apple of her cheeks. Although, her hair would have preferred a less humid condition — the honey brown curls rebelled against the heat, creating bushy tangles that were forced into a rounded bun at the back of her head. Nevertheless, he found her very pretty.

“You’ve honestly read it about a thousand times — I bet you could recite it word by word by now,” Remus joked.

“You know, I’d give it a good go.” 

Sunlight splashed across her face, spilling over her features. The shine of the glowing sun ignited her eyes, setting them ablaze with a flurry of golden light. They were dark, like the soil after a tropical rain — yet when the light hit, they shone with chinks of copper.

“I bet you would,” Remus agreed. The quaffle throwing had come to a stop and James, now bored, turned on his sister curling a lip at her before sneering loudly. 

“Why are you always buzzing around?”

Ace snapped her head towards him, lips curling in an eerily similar fashion before declaring that she was in fact there first. 

“Yeah, always seem to be wherever Remus is,” James sniggered, his eyes twisting as he shared a look with Sirius who always tried his very best to remain a third party when James taunted Ace, but a dig like this drew a snigger from the pit of his stomach. 

“Stop it - I came to sit with her,” Remus stated evenly, puffing sharp columns of breath up towards his forehead. If he was at all phased by James’ implications, he certainly didn’t show it. Ace on the other hand was bashfully aware of the burning heat rising in the apples of her cheeks. 

“Don’t flatter yourself James, I wouldn’t be around you by choice - it’s just unfortunate we’re related,” Ace tutted, rolling her eyes furiously, before going back to her book - a tired attempt at hiding her reddened face. 

“Pack it in James,” Sirius howled. Ace hadn’t the chance to glance at what Sirius was referring too; with a sickening tear the book tore from her fingertips. 

“Is there any need?! Honestly, you’re so bloody immature!” With that James scoffed loudly, flipping the flimsy and half-torn book between his nimble fingers. 

“Mind your mouth, Ace, or your book might just go for a little dip,” he chortled, extending a long arm over the swimming hole.

“James! Don’t - please!” Ace yelled, slightly hysterical as she knew he wouldn’t hesitate to throw her prized possession straight into the pit of the pool. The sound of her desperation only made him grin more. She resisted any rash decisions - frightened of the consequences.

“Just give it back, will you?” Her tone lowering as she insisted on masking the begging tone.

Merely grinning wolfishly, James raised his hand higher, far out of his sister’s reach. Remus opened his mouth to speak, but no words followed, instead he closed his mouth, a simpering frown deepening his features. 

James leered down at her, laughing as Ace failed to retrieve the book. “She shouldn’t be so cocky.” 

“I am not the cocky one!” Ace declared firmly, nostrils flaring with affirmation. 

“Have it your way,” James smirked. A firm hand caught Ace by the shoulder, shoving her hard into the swimming hole - where she landed bottom first, doused in freezing water. It took a few moments until she finally broke the surface again, coughing and spluttering. At the pools edge, James stood howling in laughter — close behind him Sirius was stood, a mild inclination of shock cross his face; he was trying his damned hardest to resist a laugh. 

“Here, Ace,” James smirked, tossing the book in after her. The pages split as it hit the clear blue, bursting into a flurry of words across water. 

“You’re such a bloody arse!” She cried, splashing loudly as she tried in vain to grab the loose pages; they crumbled mercilessly. Yellow flakes dancing across the waters surface. The laughter emitting from James’ mouth was deafening. From beyond him their Mother yelled a response Ace did not catch as she was already tearing her way across the garden and towards the house. 

*

“I mean, I know it’s no soppy love story, but I like it,” Remus said with a charming smile. 

The water damage meant Ace’s book was beyond repair - even with magic. For the rest of the evening she refused to even look in James’ direction and spent most of her time alone, tucked into the sanctuary of her bedroom. Until a soft knock sounded at around midnight. Something in the back of her mind told her exactly who it would be and why they would be knocking at such a late hour. 

“That’s really sweet, you know.”

A stunning white smile crossed Ace’s lips; she was truly shocked at the kind sentiment, but then again, should she expect anything less from Remus? He always seemed to think a little bit more than his other friends; some even said he was the only one out of his friends that possessed a brain cell.

Ace knew this wasn’t true, of course, her brother and his friends were exceptional young wizards. They proved that through no academic passion, but through the intricate and flawless execution of immature pranks. The way Ace saw it, Remus possessed no more brain cells than his friends, just a little more compassion. 

“Well, I do try.” Remus perched on the bed, shuffling backwards until he was leaning against the ash white beams of the headboard.

The room was smaller than James’ and in natural feminine fashion, prettier. It reminded Remus of vintage France; heavily papered walls sprawled with vines of leafy flowers and petals of lilac, yellow and mauve hung against an ivory backdrop.

The furniture, French Chateau in style, pressed against the papered walls - a large vanity with a trio of skinny drawers on either side of a soft cushioned stool, two chest of drawers with curling legs and iron rings for handles, a large wardrobe engraved with swirling roses on either side of its white doors. A towering bookshelf adorned with Ace’s favourite books. A mash up of childhood memorabilia. At the head of it all was a porcelain tower; enchanted with a figure of a medieval princess casting down long golden hair, into the hands of a miniature knight that spent its days scaling the edge of the tower. It was everything you’d expect of a teenage witch’s bedroom - all pretty and nice smelling. 

“I’ve read it a good few times actually. One of my favourites.” 

“Oh, really?” Ace’s eyebrows rose of their own accord, enticing a low laugh from Remus. “Mr. I don’t re-read books.” She mocked, with tantalising smirk. 

Another laugh vibrated through him, his leg brushing against hers. They were sat close, Remus outstretched on the bed; Ace sat close to his waist, one leg drawn close to her chest, the other tucked neatly behind it. It was unlike Remus to be sprawled with his long limbs strewn so leisurely - they were so gangly he hardly knew what to do with the most of the time - but around Ace, he felt at ease. 

“I do re-read books!” He defended, a little loudly for the silent night.

Ace sniggered loudly, shushing him quickly.

“Just not as religiously as you,” he added, lowering his voice to a whisper. Ace feigned an offended gasp, claiming that she only read the best books more than once, before going on to insist that this book definitely wouldn’t make the cut. 

“It certainly will -“ Remus retorted quickly, his mouth breaking into an almost silent chuckle. “I can give you my word,” he added nobly. 

“What makes this one so good then?”

Turning the thick hardback in her hands, examining it carefully. It looked familiar — perhaps Remus was right when he said he’d read it more than once. Through the corner of her eye, she could see Remus’ heaving chest and playful grin; at that moment her breaths quickened, she hoped it wasn’t noticeable. It was only in that moment she realised that a boy was in her bedroom. Of course, it was just Remus and that is exactly what she repeated to herself - nevertheless, her pulse thickened until she was certain Remus could hear her blood rushing.

“Well, the twists are just indescribable. Read it and find out.” Caramel eyes shone brightly, mimicking the warmth of the sun.

Ace just smiled, quickly scanning the first page of the book. For a moment, Remus allowed himself to indulge on Ace’s features. He couldn’t quite get over how much she had matured in such a short amount of time. Before the summer, she was just his best mates, cute and bashful, kid sister — and now, she had been revealed in an entirely different light. She wasn’t beautiful in the classical way; no hair of golden silk or piercing ocean blue eyes. No tapered waist or voluptuous assets. Ace seemed to possess an entirely different aura of understated beauty. 

Her skin was flawless and dewy from the sun — a little red around the nose with freckles pinpricking the middle tone. It didn’t look as if she used expensive products to keep the silk exterior, that wasn’t really Ace’s thing. She was a simple soul — with a heart of pure gold. An air of utmost innocence and a true sweetheart. And when she smiled, it was contagious. You couldn’t help, but smile and laugh too; even if it was on the inside. To be in her company was to feel alive, in the presence of a true golden girl. 

He couldn’t possibly say these words aloud, so instead he said, “you’ve changed you know.” 

The simple sentence shocked her and the radiant smile faltered ever so slightly.

“What do you mean?” 

“Not in a bad way -“ Remus corrected quickly, spotting his flaw. He shifted in soft movement, raising a little to gain height, “- like, you were just James’ cute, nerdy little sister before - and now...” 

“Nerdy little sister? Wow, thanks,” Ace giggled sarcastically. Ignoring the fact her face was blazing red with embarrassment.

“You know what I mean,” he grinned. “You seem so much older now-“ Unsure of why he was saying these things, Remus willed his breathing to steady and for his words not to make him look even more of an idiot. 

“So I’m James’ cute, nerdy, so much older, little sister, now? Lovely, that’s exactly what I wanted to be when I grow up.” 

He laughed quietly, a surge of impulsiveness over taking him. “You’re James’ cute, nerdy, _hot_ , little sister.” 

Ace’s front teeth dug into the soft of her bottom lip — she knew she was blushing profusely, and Merlin, she wished she wasn’t. In that moment, she was suddenly aware of their grazing legs and his lopsided smirk, that was eerily similar to Sirius’. 

The sound of a door slamming against the wall had them both jump a good mile in the air.

“What the bloody hell is going on here?” James demanded, an unattractive scowl tainting his handsome features. 

“Gosh, James! You scared me!” Ace gushed, turning to face her brother. 

“Why are you in my sisters room?” James ignored her speaking directly to Remus, who was chuckling loudly. 

“‘Cause she’s better company than you,” Sirius drawled, appearing in the doorway, a devilish grin drawn over smooth pink lips.

Remus insisted that the pair were just having a chat and explained that he was borrowing Ace a book - since James had destroyed the one she had been reading - at the mention of that morning’s events, James’ frown faltered, a breeze of guilt flew over him. 

Ace swallowed hard, glaring at James in a slightly pathetic attempt to look angry, in reality she mirrored a small child pouting from the naughty step. “If you weren’t so horrid then Remus wouldn’t have to do this.” 

“Do what? Give you a book at the dead of night - alone - in your bedroom? Give over, Remus it’s time to leave,” James demanded, stepping aside and gesturing out into the wide landing.

Remus scoffed loudly, choking on his laughter. “You can’t be serious? You know I’d never do that.” 

“Do what!? We’re just talking!” 

“Ah, the pinnacle of innocence,” Sirius chuckled, “she has no idea what you’re implying. Come on Moony, before the vein in James’ head pops.” 

A gasp strangled at Ace’s throat as she momentarily struggled for words, face glowing redder by the second. “You’re - honestly unbelievable, James!” She exclaimed, raking glossy lilac fingernails through the curls of her fringe, hoping this would somehow mask the humiliation that her brother had, yet again, made her accustom too. 

“Well, I’d rather be unbelievable than an Uncle,” he stated, with a sarcastic smile.


	2. Ocean Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ace has an unexpected meeting on the Hogwarts Express...
> 
> This story bounces between points of view sometimes, but it’ll always be obvious who’s point of view it is. A double paragraph line is *mostly* a change of point of view (again will be obvious), but can also be a short skip of time, but usually that’ll be marked by an asterisk (*). Lmk if you’d prefer headings of point of view change or something to signify a shift.

_September 1st, 1975_

Remus watched as Ace slipped away through the thinning crowd of the Hogwarts Express. Trying not to feel personally offended that she hadn’t taken his offer to sit in the compartment with him and the other lads. Remus knew it was because James teased her irrevocably and after the bedroom incident three nights prior, the two siblings hadn’t been on the best speaking terms, even so, he couldn’t shake the feeling of disappointment. 

“Come on Lupin, before some scrawny first years get our spot,” Sirius said, slapping his hands on the back of Remus’ shoulders, guiding him into step with him and down the corridor of the Hogwarts Express. 

Ahead of them James shunted himself through the crowd, closely followed by Peter - Sirius and Remus followed never more than three paces behind. “So, tell me Remus - why haven’t you told us about this crush of yours?” Sirius mused, his face appearing at the side of Remus’. Tension squeezed at his muscles, Remus had to force his lips to remain taught and his voice even. 

“Huh?” Was the only thing Remus could manage to say without his voice raising a good few octaves - which would be a short and sure give away. 

“Don’t play dumb with me, Wolfie,” Sirius grinned devilishly. 

“Don’t call me that,” Remus stated sharply, ignoring the accusations. 

“Whatever. Just don’t expect my help when you realise you need it,” Sirius stated conceitedly, purposely brushing his shoulder against Remus’ as he bounced into their compartment.

For a moment, Remus’ footing faltered and he almost came to a halt in the doorway of their compartment — a little shocked at Sirius’ sudden observation. It didn’t take long for him to get past himself; pushing the invasive thoughts to the back of his mind. Hoping against God that Sirius was only joking.

After a long and very draining goodbye on platform 9 and 3/4, Ace took the first opportunity to slip away from The Marauders. She never appreciated how much attention the boys seemed to attract, even if they weren’t being boisterous and obnoxious (which was rare), they still managed to attract looks, grins and comments. 

Ace noticed this much more than the boys, either they were oblivious or they simply didn’t care, but when she did accompany them a surge of questionable murmurs flowed through the onlookers. Now, she was never certain that they were talking about her, but something in the pit of her stomach stirred and it insisted that they were. 

‘ _James Potter’s little sister’ -_ is what they would say. That’s all anyone who knew of Ace said. It’s all anyone really knew about her anyway. And to be known as James Potter’s little sister wasn’t as glamorous as James would make it out to be. Ace _hated_ being known as just that; she’d much prefer to be known as no one at all. 

The first time she had been referred to as James Potter’s little sister was during the very first week of school. It was obvious upon meeting Ace that she was very different to the brother who had already earned the name of trouble maker. Professors often compared the two during her first year and soon it was common knowledge among her peers that Ace Potter was nothing like her cool big brother. In fact, she was so unlike him that it made her dreadfully boring. From that very first week Ace knew who she was; James Potter’s sister to those who knew of her and to those who didn’t just that quiet Gryffindor girl. 

On this day, the journey was particularly tedious, given the fact Ace had packed only one book in her carry on and no matter how hard she tried she just couldn’t get into it. It was becoming very clear that her and Remus had very different reading tastes. Nevertheless, Ace wanted to like it, so she carried on; forcing her way through the chapters until her headached. It wasn’t until the compartment glowed with an intense burnt orange that she noticed how late it was getting.

The sun rose high in the periwinkle sky, marking the time of five pm. A shock of panic had her veins running cold; every single year she would change into her uniform at half past four. She didn’t like being late, so without a second thought her book was packed into a black leather satchel bag and she was gone from the compartment. 

A grey skirt rising an inch and half above the knee, black tights, a creasless white shirt, buttoned right to the top and a red and gold tie, slotted perfectly central of pearly white buttons. Floor length robes flowing ceaselessly over her willowy frame, finishing off the uniform. It was one of Ace’s many habits, having a perfect uniform. There wasn’t a thing that annoyed Ace more than a creased shirt or uncentered tie. 

Every compartment was full of laughing groups of friends, reunited after a summer apart. A cruel pang of envy stabbed at her heart. Ace missed reuniting with a friend on the Hogwarts Express after a long summer apart. Being able to sit and indulge on sweets from the refreshment trolley and talk until they were blue in the face. This was a distant memory, having been alone on every train ride since the end of second year when her only friend had abandoned her for newer, better friends. 

Ace walked slowly, risking a quick glance into a compartment or two until she was inclined to stop completely. 

A boy she recognised from some of her classes - he was sat alone - this was the least shocking thing to Ace. Even though he was popular and almost always surrounded by his group of moronic yes men or buzzing around a group of mean fifth years lead by Rabastan Lestrange. If he’d been simply sat alone Ace wouldn’t have stopped at all, she’d have assumed, well she didn’t quite know what she would have assumed, but she certainly wouldn’t have stopped where she was and stared. 

No, it wasn’t because he was sat alone it was the way he was sat. His head hung in his palms, the balls of his hands digging deep into his eyes as if he was intent on ridding them of something foul. Waves of silk dark hair fell over his face, draping it in a curtain of black shadow. Typically, he was a loud mouthed, witty young lad; but seeing him sitting there alone and so obviously crestfallen, Ace’s heart bled for him. In such a way it had forced her feet to give up any movement and there she stayed until the boy looked up and she was met with the indulgent, steely gaze of Regulus Black. 

For a short moment - that seemed to stretch for an eternity - the pair looked at one another. Steely grey eyes resting on the luscious warmth of of chocolate brown, their gazes unmoving, breaths yielding with apprehension. Ace’s eyes burned as they resisted the urge to blink; by now she had realised what Regulus was doing alone. A deep red line brimmed his almond eyes, a clear sign that tears had been shed. 

If anyone were to ask Ace what ran through her mind in the coming moments, she wouldn’t have been able to answer, for she hadn’t the slightest idea herself. Her strumming heartstrings sang for themselves and the next thing Ace knew she was sliding the compartment door open, breaking the only barrier that held the two wizards apart. 

“Are you alright?” The words came out much quieter than she meant and with a briskness she wasn’t used too. For a moment she wasn’t certain Regulus had heard her at all. In that time anxious anticipation had crept it, leaving its cold footprints on the back of Ace’s neck. For a moment she contemplated repeating herself, but her throat contracted leaving the words to build a grave on the tongue.

Regulus straightened in his seat, squaring his shoulders with a tension that crawled across the compartment. Dark eyebrows swallowed the space above his nose. His eyes were like thick storm clouds tunnelling across a thunderstruck sky. Like a deep fog in mid-October, vision blurring and muddling all senses of direction. 

With a tone of haughty indignation Regulus asked, “Is it really any of your business?”

Silently scolding herself, Ace flinched at the vehement tone, despite the words cracking from lack of use. It still held a sharpness Ace wasn’t comfortable in receiving. A soft clear of the throat followed and Ace shifted uncomfortably cursing the impulsiveness that had over come her. It was awfully out of character and she was beginning to wish she had kept on walking. 

“Bloody Gryffindors, always sticking their noses where they aren’t wanted.”

Torn between bashfulness at the sound of his rudeness and a heart warming flutter at the velvety sound of his voice; Ace couldn’t resist the thought that it would be lovely to hear him speak again. He had a voice much deeper than the other boys in their year, deeper when heavy with grief. 

Shifting uncomfortably on her feet and ignoring all the rational sense of her brain as they screamed at her to leave, Ace stated softly, “not exactly, you’re upset...” 

The statement hung heavily in the tense atmosphere; it was a given that Regulus was upset, but Ace was beginning to understand that he hadn’t wanted to be disturbed. Especially not by a Gryffindor. Least of all her. 

“Well done for the observation. You can go now.” 

Regulus was beginning to glare now, his eyes narrowed, so that a slither of grey was visible beneath his dark lashes. Ace didn’t understand why she didn’t just walk away there and then — instead she did something that was even more shocking to both Regulus and herself — she walked into the compartment and took a seat on the edge of the compartment bench, so that she was facing him, the heels of her black patent loafers dug into the rough carpet of the train, rooting her to the spot. 

“I mean - I’m probably the last person who you’d want to - er - speak too - we don’t even know each other. But, it would be awfully rude of me not to at least ask if you’re okay.” The words built in her throat until they were tumbling out on their own accord. 

“Well, I am perfectly fine,” Regulus stated lowly. 

His head hung low again, as he avoided an intense gaze of fiery brown eyes. His elbows were resting on his knees, digging in slightly and creasing his grey school trousers. Ace hummed a soft sigh, searching deep within her soul for something to say; conversation was certainly not her strong point.

“You don’t have to tell me, but I wouldn’t feel right leaving you knowing you aren’t alright...” 

“I’m not certain why you care,” Regulus drawled and then he moved his head and their eyes met once again.

Ace was awe struck — it was now she realised the deep similarities he shared with Sirius. Each of them possessed the same strong and defined features that managed to stop you in your tracks. Heart wrenching good looks; Ace was sure that if she looked at him for too long her blood would cease to flow and her heart would come to a certain stop. 

He had the type of face that when feasted upon; a prolonged pause would follow, finishing with that lingering smirk of flirtatious hope. Every feature was carefully traced, curving at just the right time and were almost sallow in their depths. Not in an unhealthy way; but they were chiselled in a way Ace had never seen before. His jawline was sharpest, curving into a graceful point and down to a pincered chin — both of them peering over a slim built chest. Regulus Black was certainly a prodigy among boys his age; having been one of the few to reach puberty early; he’d grasped it by the horns and ravaged it of every advantage it had to offer. Saying he was simply stunning to look at seemed like an understatement to Ace. 

“Me either -“ Ace admitted truthfully, “but I can’t leave you as you are. It’s nothing personal - basic morals, really.” 

It took more effort than Ace was willing to admit to force a haughty stiffness to a usual honey sweet tone. Regulus stiffened a little his jaw clenching, Ace was certain she had overstepped now, but when his silver eyes struck her she knew he wasn’t offended. It was a look she was accustom too - for she made it hundreds of times a day - the look of deep autonomous thought. 

The breath he had been taking strangled in the base of his throat. “My brother - you’ll know him, Sirius Black, friends with your brother?” 

Ace just swallowed in response. 

“My parents and him argue a lot - well they’re never not arguing really - he just keeps pushing them. They threatened to shot him out, disown him - if he doesn’t get his act together... woke up one morning and he was gone, no idea where.” The confession came slow at first and then all at once as if the taste of the words were too sour for Regulus too hold any longer. “Just sick of hearing about it, really.” He added as an after thought. 

Ace chewed the soft inside of her bottom lip, folding her thoughts into tidy piles. The answer was one she hadn’t expected, had she expected one at all. For the last three years they’d shared classes together and for the last three years Ace had known he was the brother to one of her friends. Yet, she’d never spared him a thought - Ace had indulged in Sirius’ stories of Regulus. Taking his word that Regulus Black was a selfish, immature, mummy’s boy, who shared the same unsavoury prejudices of the rest of the Black family, alongside many other pure blooded families. 

Now, seeing Regulus in such a vulnerable state, Ace struggled to navigate those thoughts. At that moment Ace didn’t care about Regulus’ opinions on the blood purity movement, she didn’t care that he was a Slytherin and more likely to hate her than any other Slytherin; she just wanted him to be okay. Ace had felt the acquaintance of loneliness many times before and it was a relationship she wouldn’t bestow on her worst enemy. 

“Mine,” Ace blurted. 

For a moment, his eyes were wide, raising in his seat, Regulus sighed softly. With every movement, Ace was entranced, watching as he brushed his hair back. It was thick and jet black in colour, very similar to Sirius’, but curlier. Longish in the front, falling into a fringe that framed an elegant forehead. She admired the style of it, but quickly realised that it wasn’t as carefully styled as it was in third year. 

“He’s staying with me,” she repeated. “Well, I mean - my brother - but you know I live there too...” Ace quickly trailed off, realising how idiotic she must sound. 

“I should have guessed, really.” His round lips were pressed in a firm line. “I sent him letters, but I didn’t know where to address them... if they made it to yours, he returned them.” It was the sort of admission that hadn’t been said aloud before, and it had both of them shocked. Even Regulus wasn’t certain why he was telling Ace; perhaps because he knew she’d have no one to tell. 

“He didn’t mention anything.” 

“Well, he wouldn’t. He hates me.”

The memory of Sirius only four hours prior, struck painfully at Ace’s nerves. _‘I don’t have a brother’_ , with that short thought, her heartstrings were singing again. Guilt writhed painfully in Ace’s veins without any idea what to say, Ace found herself apologising. One part of her was sorry on behalf of Sirius and all the other parts were just truly sorry for Regulus. Her apology was quickly dismissed, not in a rude way, but because Ace had nothing to be sorry for. 

The moorland raced by; fields of flat alfalfa burnt brown by the summers heat, green foliage flashed with the gold light of the evening sun, hedges of rock struck every so often jarring the suns gaze from the window. The scenery was one that was familiar to the both of them, it wouldn’t be long until the Hogwarts Express would be pulling into Hogsmede Station. 

“Still, I can’t imagine how you’re feeling. It must be really awful.”

Regulus nodded a little, “wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t let him back this time,” he said, not bothering to look at her. She wished he would; she wanted to see his eyes again. To study them in all their glory. The ash grey, flecked with onyx black and ringed with the same shade. Deeper than the ocean, in more ways than one. 

They reminded her of a moment back in First Year — right at the start, when they were made to sail on tiny rowboats across the Black Lake to the castle perched on a stubby mountain of jagged rock. The depths of murky green water had Ace plunging into thoughts of her journey through Hogwarts; their easy flow and steady breath had her hoping for a greatness, opening her mind to what might be. Regulus’ eyes were like them waves; deep and forthcoming, splashing with something more than beauty. 

“Want me to go?”

Regulus hummed in response, suddenly tearing his gaze from the window and back to her. “No. It’s fine. Looks like you need the company more than I do.” Ace willed her face to remain neutral, so her struck nerves wouldn’t make a show of themselves. She nodded obediently, rubbing her lips together to give herself something to do, and then she stood eyeing the open door. 

With a briskness Regulus instantly regretted he asked where Ace was going. 

“Just shutting the door,” Ace stated quietly. “Keeps the bad juju out.” 

“Bad juju?” Regulus concurred, with a cock of an eyebrow. 

For the first time that day, Ace saw Regulus smile. The harshness of his features cracked, chiselled cheeks were drawn back to reveal a grin that was almost as dazzling as her own. A soft laugh brushed through Regulus’ lips; even in such short bursts, it had Ace smiling and the sight of Ace’s smile to Regulus... well, that had more of an effect on him than either of them would ever know.

The train slowed to a harsh stop surging those who were standing off their feet. The moment Ace knew it was safe to stand, she did so, immediately making her way to the door. For the last half an hour neither of them had spoke — actually they barely looked at each other. At least, that was their way of thinking as neither noticed the sly glances cast by the other party. Despite the lack of speech, it hadn’t been entirely uncomfortable. It was as if a silent agreement had been signed and they were able to sit and do only that.

“Not so fast.” Regulus caught Ace around the top of the arm. She flinched at the unexpected touch, not because it hurt, but because it was so gentle. His hands were like suede when they touched her, barely denting her robes. “I think we can both agree that no one needs to know about that,” Regulus said softly, peering down into Ace’s face. 

“‘Course, yeah, no problem,” Ace agreed with a gentle smile. A small dimple popped in the soft of Ace’s cheek — at the sight of it Regulus almost smiled. 

“I’ll see you, Potter.” Regulus dropped his hand before brushing past Ace and into the corridor that was beginning to swarm with the students of Hogwarts. And just like that it was as if the last forty five minutes had never existed. If it wasn’t for Ace’s excessive thoughts about the whole ordeal; she’d have sworn blind it was all in her imagination.


	3. Commonplace, Common Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insight into Ace’s place at Hogwarts and personal things she deals with.   
> Such as, anxiety... 
> 
> Throughout the story Ace deals with a lot of mental challenges; such as, anxiety, depression, hints at a negative relationship with food. These are channelled from my real life experience and I will be trying to execute them in the best way possible. 
> 
> There will be caption warnings and trigger warnings above chapters.

_September 1st, 1975_

It remained remarkable to Ace how a mediocre, yet perfectly pleasant day could flip so ruefully. The day had begun as any other — breakfast with the family and James’ friends, James had insisted on bickering with Ace until their Father had to yell at him, which in turn had Ace feeling particularly embarrassed, especially since it was in front of Remus, Sirius and Peter. The time on the Hogwarts Express spoke for itself. The journey certainly wasn’t as bad as it usually was; in fact Ace almost enjoyed it. It wasn’t until the carriages and travelling towards the castle that the day took a tragic turn. 

Well, really the crumbling of a mediocre day began with Sirius asking Ace to join him and the other Marauders in their carriage. Granted the request was an innocent one, yet it managed to irk Ace even more so than usual. Most of the time, she didn’t mind sitting with them if they really insisted, but even when Sirius or Remus did happen to tempt her, James would ensure she had made a mistake.

For the entire time he would insist that it was Ace’s doing and that she was once again buzzing around them. And after her strange journey on the Hogwarts Express, Ace would have much preferred to be in a carriage of her own, occupied by only her thoughts, so that she could effectively reflect on the experience and convince herself the time spent with Regulus had, in fact, been real. 

“You can sit in the middle, you’re littler,” Sirius said, shuffling to the edge of his seat ensuring there was a small space in between Remus and him. Reluctantly Ace sat next to the two boys, sighing dramatically as she did. Arms crossed firmly across her chest, pulling her body into itself. 

“Don’t look so moody, we aren’t that bad,” James grinned. 

Ace flicked an eyebrow at her brother, “I beg to differ.” 

“So, who were you sat with?” Sirius asked. At once Ace’s muscles tensed and her jaw was welded into silence. Is this why he had insisted on her company? If they were intending to grill her she’d break in an instant and the whole ordeal would come pouring out. 

“Don’t look so scared, he’s only asking,” Remus chuckled, gently budging Ace with his shoulder. She forced a laugh through welded teeth; a long moment passed before Ace managed to reform herself and speak.

“No one, why?” 

Sirius shrugged, “Wondering, I like to know what you’re up to, when you’re up to it and why,” he stated, wiggling his eyebrows. This time the laugh was an honest one.

“You’re so nosey,” she smiled, grateful that his questions were born from curiosity. “Lucky for me there isn’t ever much to know.”

“On your own again?” James asked with a twisting solemn frown. ”I hate thinking of you on your own. It always makes my chest ache,” He admitted suddenly, pushing the conversation into sensitive territory for Ace — there was nothing she despised more than discussing her friendships, or there lack off. 

“I’m not always on my own,” Ace defended. “I have friends.” She spoke with such certainty that she almost believed herself. 

If it wasn’t for James’ swift eyebrow raise and the intense gaze of his hazel eyes; Ace would have refrained from saying anything more; sadly, her words had a way of betraying her on that day. “I don’t have friends-“ Ace admitted, “however, I am perfectly content with just me, myself and I.” 

“As much as we love, you, yourself and yourself again — a friend wouldn’t go amiss,” Sirius grinned. “Friends are good, mine are stupid, but I quite like them if I’m honest.” 

“Aren’t you my friend?” Ace asked, pushing her bottom lip outwards ever so slightly and fluttering wispy lashes. “And you Remus? We’re friends, right? And you Peter; we’ve known each other forever?” A strategic gaze was placed onto Peter; who nodded enthusiastically. The round faced boy had a tendency to crumble under any female gaze. Even if it was Ace’s, who had known him since birth. 

“Of course,” Remus smirked, peeking down at her from the corner of his eye. 

“Well, there we are then. No need to find me anyone, I have enough friends here,” Ace joked, slapping her hands onto her lap. Hoping that the conversation would dwindle into nothingness. Knowing fine well that James and Sirius had a tendency to bore ideas that they insisted on carrying out. One such as this was just downright embarrassing.

James sighed a little, rubbing the space on his chest where his heart throbbed beneath.

“It makes me feel all strange, you know?”

The boys broke into a loud guffaw at James’ odd declaration. Ace refrained from laughter, instead she feasting on the view from the window; the rising turrets of Hogwarts castle tore through a shell pink sky, the sandy stone glowing in the rays of a setting sun; it was a decent distraction from the twisting serpent of regret writhing in the pit of Ace’s stomach. The carriage surged on beneath them, wobbling as it struck the rocky path. 

“Sounds a bit like sympathy to me, mate,” Remus told James with a tone of sardonic contemplation. Ace held no appreciation for James’ sudden interest in her life; especially when it had her skin prickling and cheeks flushing with embarrassment. 

“I don’t want your sympathy,” Ace snapped. “Can’t you all just shut up for once?” The words burst forth, alongside a perpetual scowl. For once, the Marauders were stunned to silence, the four sharing a look of mild shock. Flustered and red faced, Ace hopped from the carriage, stalking up the low, sloping gravel lane towards Hogwarts, before any of the boys had a moment to register their apologies. 

Ace could only imagine the shade of her face. The thought sent her stomach reeling again. God, how positively _embarrassing!_ The only comfort was the quick pace she’d taken up, at least no one would catch a sight of the cherry red cheeks and teary eyes and if they did she’d be gone before they registered who she was. 

Maybe she could slip away and miss the feast all together? That would be good, the beckoning of her dormitory had Ace’s senses knocked sideways. It would be perfect, she could unpack in peace, organise her books and clothes and then crawl into bed at a reasonable hour and- 

Ace’s thoughts were struck short as she collided with another body, “my gosh, I am sorry!” 

“Watch what you’re - well, would you look who it is!” The nasal tone was unmistakable and it had Ace’s skin crawling in an instant.

_Dana Oswald._

Dana Oswald, fourth year Ravenclaw and elected leader of her little trio of friends, each of whom had adopted the roll of making Ace’s life a misery. It must have been mid way through third year when Dana took a sudden and resolute dislike to Ace Potter. Beginning with snide comments when leaving class; all of which Ace took on her chin, brushing them off once the girls were out of earshot. It hadn’t taken long before the sly words turned to threats of hexes in the corridor. 

“You barged me on purpose, didn’t you?” Dana growled, inching forward in an attempt to look intimidating. It was done in vain as Ace was yet to feel intimidated by Oswald. It had taken a lot of convincing, but Ace managed to persuade herself that their dislike of her was more to do with their insecurities. 

Dana Oswald was one of them girls Ace had always envied. She had the blonde hair and blue eyes, clear skin without effort and a careless attitude Ace longed to possess. Nevertheless, there was nothing truly remarkable about Dana Oswald, she had a pretty face and that was all.

“Leave her, will you? I’m starving,” Louisa Chittok drawled, curling a lip of disgust towards Ace. 

The look of plain dislike had Ace grimacing. Chittok was never one to commence the teasing, a trait some would deem admirable. She mustn’t be plain mean like Oswald or simply insecure like Mallory Thorndike; the third party to the trio. Typically a quiet girl; unless caught in a bad mood, only then would Ace feel the wrath of her sharp tongue. It was always a lashing she could never quite forget, Thorndike had a tendency to hit just where it hurt. 

“Because I don’t fancy missing my sisters sorting for the likes of her,” Chittok spat with an indignant bitterness. Dana shifted on her feet, if anyone could get her to back down it was Chittok. The pair were cousins as well as best friends; Louisa hardly failed in reigning Dana in when needed.

“I’m sure Glenda will understand... anyway, we’ve loads of time.” Dana twisted a cruel smirk, raking Ace with a distasteful look. “Potter needs to apologise for being a cow.”

It was moments like this that Ace wondered why she was placed in Gryffindor at all. If she were bolder she could have snapped at Oswald and give her a good telling off. Maybe, if she had been blessed with the same quick wit as James, Ace could have struck back with a clever insult. 

Instead, she twisted her lips, sinking her teeth into the fatty inside of her bottom lip in awkward thought. 

“Excuse me? What did you just say to her?!” A fifth voice had joined the cohort. 

With a flick of her robe, Ace was facing the questioning girl. Met with a pair of fierce green eyes, hardened with anger. Lily Evans, fifth year and usually very bubbly. Like many other Gryffindors, she had a fiery temper if you caught her the wrong way and one thing Lily Evans never had time for was bullying. Many would describe her as uncommonly kind, initially Ace disagreed. Lily Evans was undeniably nice and Ace saw that now, after sharing a house for the last three years. However, when the pair had met, Lily Evans had presumed the worst about Ace. That she was just like her brother. 

Lurking just over Lily’s shoulder was a scrawny boy wearing the emerald robes of Slytherin house. The pair could often be seen together - though an unusual couple - they had been friends since before first year. A cape of greasy hair slung over a pasty white face, obsidian eyes glaring at Ace. Severus Snape; a horribly rude fifth year, who was often the victim of James and Sirius’ taunting. Though, Snape was known to give back imperiously. 

“Nothing!” Dana assured with more briskness than was due, a blue eye darting towards the shining prefects badge pinned to the lapel of Lily Evans’ robes. Her friends nodded and squeaked faint agreements from behind her. Lily wasn’t remotely convinced, seething a long and purposely drawn out exhale, “It didn’t sound like nothing!” 

Severus Snape leaned forward murmuring lowly into Lily’s ear, she furrowed her brows, shaking her head slightly. 

“Just leave it - she probably deserved it.” The accusation receiving a perpetual frown from Lily, who opened her mouth, no doubt to reply with an admonishing remark when Ace boldly cut her off. 

“It’s none of your business, just leave it.” Despite her quiet tone, Ace flushed under the scrutinising stares of those around her. 

Students leaked through the grand doors into the Great Hall, taking seats at their respectable tables. The hall filled with the chatter of reuniting friends as they waited for the annual sorting ceremony to begin and the grand feast to follow afterwards. Ace Potter was not amongst those sat anticipating an evening filled with delicacies and idle chatter; instead she was pressed against the wall of a toilet cubicle, drying tearful eyes. As soon as she was in the entrance hall, Ace had made beeline for the girls lavatory. Anxiety had coiled around her stomach, snaking its way up to her throat in the form of bitter tasting bile. 

Had she been snappy with Lily Evans? 

Since their first meeting Ace had never wanted to be a fan of Lily Evans; who had presumed she was arrogant, obnoxious, loud and basically the embodiment of her brother. It didn’t take long for Lily and the everyone else to realise Ace was quite the opposite. Realising her mistake Lily provided a slightly over zealous apology and Ace was cornered into forgiving her. Despite that, Ace really did want to dislike the other girl. Though the notion of that proved difficult - no one could dislike Lily Evans. 

After her attitude just then, Ace was sure Lily would hate her now. With that thought and the blood pulsing in her temples, she curled over the toilet retching painfully. Thoughts were unreeling in a blur of self deprecation, hot tears splashed down red cheeks. Throat burning and head pounding, Ace straightened, snatching toilet roll to wipe her face.

The only comfort was the thought that she could return to her dormitory in peace; unpack her belongings, have a lovely hot shower and unpick the thoughts of her day. Looking forward to the prospect of organising her trunk, Ace made her way to the sink where a splash of cold water brought her down to earth. Sniffling at the sight of red puffy cheeks, streaked mascara, chapped lips and dampened face; Ace realised the impending flaw to her plan; she didn’t know the common room password. 

An azure sky poured over the Great Hall which was alive with the noise of cutlery scraping on gold plates and the fluttering voices of care free students. For once, Ace was grateful for the noise as she slipped inconspicuously through the doors and into a spare seat at the very edge of Gryffindor table.

The hall decked with its usual tapestries; red and gold, blue and bronze, yellow and black, green and silver; held the same welcoming warmth that it always did. The walls buzzed with a familiar noise, paintings chatting aimlessly into the open air. Over the tables gushed the translucent bodies of the Hogwarts ghosts, the only starkness in a body of black robes. 

At the head of the Great Hall ran a table of rich mahogany decked in deep aubergine, marked with the Hogwarts crest; there sat the staff of the castle, protruding against their pointed hats was the body of Professor Dumbledore. An aged man, with a shock of magnificent silver white hair, decked in robes of midnight blue; even from her space at the back of the hall, Ace saw a short twinkle flash from behind his half moon spectacles, a small smile graced his thin pink lips. One Ace wasn’t certain she returned, the dismissed act adding to her list of guilt riddled thoughts. She wished she could accept the warmth of the Great Hall like she used too, but at that moment all she felt was the bleakness of anxiety.

“Where have you been?” 

In a matter of seconds the Marauders had flanked her — they were awfully quick moving these days. At least it seemed that way to Ace; she was far too caught up in her worrisome thoughts to notice she had sat only a few spaces away from them and they had merely slid along the mahogany bench, filling the gap between them. 

Keeping her eyes fixed on the empty plate and clearing her throat to dismiss the rasping tone, Ace muttered, “toilets.” 

“We wanted to apologise,” Remus indulged without missing a beat. “We didn’t mean to offend you, obviously.” A clear of the throat followed and after that the others chimed in their own apologies. 

”Hey, Ace... I’m sorry if I over stepped earlier... I just can’t stand people like that.” Lily Evans had appeared at Sirius’ shoulder, across from where Ace was sat. “I docked points from them girls, by the way. Anyway, I hope you’re alright.” Obviously receiving Ace’s dismissive vibe, Lily smiled and made to depart. 

“What’s that, Lily-Pad?” James put in with an innocent flutter of his lashes, immediately drawing the conversation to him. James could never resist an opportunity when Lily Evans was present. An infatuation had flourished years earlier and despite Lily’s blatant disregard for his existence, James couldn’t quite move past his crush. Lily narrowed her eyes in way of response. Ace’s mouth felt like sandpaper and she longed for a drink, but couldn’t seem to bring herself to move. 

“Nothing, it was nothing,” Ace muttered dejectedly, meeting Lily’s careful gaze. “Really.” She managed a small smile, in which Lily took as permission to part.

“Oh, and I am sorry for Sev... he’s a bit- well...” the statement hung heavily in the air, unable to find words, Lily flashed a radiant smile before swanning off to take a seat amongst her friends. A pip of jealousy ripened in Ace; not for the first time, she wished she’d had some friends to sit with. Ace mulled over the thought. Lily had apologised on behalf of her friend, yet even she didn’t know how to justify his rudeness. Was that what it was like to have a best friend? Condone their behaviours even though they were wrong? Maybe, she was better off without... then again, when she had a best friend she’d really enjoyed it. 

Four expectant stares were placed heavily on Ace. Sirius raised a pair of oddly preened eyebrows, as if awaiting an explanation. Ignoring them, Ace asked, “what’s the password, Remus? I want to go to bed.” 

For a moment, Ace thought she heard Remus’ breath hitch from her challenging stare. 

“Not until you’ve told us what’s wrong,” he said, raising a hard chin with firm authority. If it wasn’t for her saddened mood, Ace would have laughed. 

“Nothing is wrong.” 

“You’ve been crying,” Peter said, in an almost hollow fashion, which earned him a firm nudge in the rib from Sirius. The three of them sat in a row - Remus, Sirius and Peter - looking at Ace. Beside her was James, who’s way of looking inconspicuous failed epically. 

“Bad day.” Ace had drew back to the table now, reaching a pointer finger to straighten a knife. 

James nodded, musing thoughtfully, “that’s fair. Have something to eat,” he offered, reaching for a heaping bowl of vegetables in the middle of the table. It was a rare moment, James showing brotherly affection, Ace couldn’t help but resent him for it. The exigent will to be alone was punishing Ace, ruefully. The Marauders may thrive in one another’s company, but Ace much preferred the compassionate silence of her own company. 

“I’m not really hungry. Just tired - so, password, Remus?” 

“What have you ate today?” Remus asked.

“What’s that got to do with the price of pumpkins?” Ace demanded. Remus broke into a grin, nodding to her plate where a selection of vegetables and a small slice of nut cobbler was now laid — an extremely proud James sitting by her side. “You all think you’re so clever,” she said, a tiny slither of a smirk ghosting pink lips. 

“Forget about today, Ace. Tomorrow’s another day,” Sirius’ charming smile had a way of lighting up the table. 

It was familiar to Ace in a sense she had seen one just like it earlier today. In fact she had and with the thought of that particular smile vibrating through her mind, Ace managed a smile too. Silently grateful that they hadn’t pried too much into what her bad day had entailed. 

“And if I ever hear of Snivellous saying another word to you again - I will personally wring his greasy little neck,” Sirius added lowly, leaning over the table as if dishing a juicy piece of gossip; to which Ace chose to ignore, she was much to drained to begin an argument over Severus Snape.

“Vegetable gravy?” She asked with a short raise of an eyebrow and a sardonic look towards her brother. 

“Well, obviously. I’m not that much of an arse,” James grinned. 

“Agree to disagree?” She giggled quietly, picking up her fork. 

James grumbled a loud laugh, soon to be joined by his other friends. Ace sat and listened to their booming laughter, taking her time to pick at the meal in front of her. Until finally, she looked up, eyes draping the length of the Slytherin table. If it was a moment sooner she’d have saw a pair of striking grey eyes doing the very same, before finally settling on her.


	4. Eye of a Hurricane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bullies take it a step further and an unexpected saviour arrives... 
> 
> T/W: thoughts of self harm.
> 
> T/W: panic attack

_Tuesday 20th September, 1975_

September drew by with rueful indignation, bringing with it lengthy homework essays, tedious seating plans and the odd spark of happy coincidences. The second morning of school had drew Ace and Remus together as they found one another in the Gryffindor common room. This impromptu meeting soon merged into a spontaneous routine of joining for an early breakfast, before half the castle had even stirred in their beds. During the half an hour Ace had Remus to herself, she found every second was enjoyable and with every morning their meeting occurred, the day ahead would be better too. Even on the days Gryffindors shared most classes with Slytherins. 

Ace had never felt the need to share the prejudice for Slytherin house. Despite their disregard for _blood traitors_ and Gryffindor’s alike; Ace never had much to do with them. Even the more vocal Slytherin’s (fourth year boys, came to mind) who had a speciality for riling their peers, hoping for a bite, never bothered Ace. Having been labelled the quiet kid for the entirety of her school career came with certain perks. There wasn’t much fun in barking when the victim didn’t bite back.

The only real altercation she’d had with a Slytherin was two and a half weeks prior on the train to Hogwarts. It wasn’t negative, nor was it really positive. But, for every waking second, it was on her mind. Replaying every moment on a loop; as if she was reviving it, hoping that the memory wouldn’t die and fade helplessly into the abyss. She was hopelessly tethered to the time on the Hogwarts Express. Like many spontaneous events in a usually provincial life, it struck a chord of wanting. Wanting to dwell on the memory, so it would never fade. Wanting to think about Regulus and in turn wonder. Wonder about how he was feeling and whether their paths would cross again. Even hoping that they would. Their paths would cross again, of course. And Ace would be left with a patronising thought that she should be careful what she wished for. 

“Not eating this morning?” Remus asked, looking over a long nose and down at Ace, who twisted a sheepish smile over a mug of tea. “You know... you join me for breakfast every morning and it’s very rare I actually see you have breakfast.” 

A small smile rose in the apples of Ace’s cheeks, though she silently cursed Remus’ observation skills. 

“Your interest in my eating schedule is truly nerve racking, Remus.”

“Why?” 

“Why what?” 

“Why aren’t you eating?”

The question was thrown out with a nonchalant air. Remus’ lips were pursed in his usual contemplative manner, his amber eyes, earnest. Gold streaks of sunlight dashed through the arched windows of the Great Hall, igniting the Gryffindor table in a seductive yellow glow. Squinting through the piercing light, Ace managed a convincing smile. 

“I’m just not a breakfast person really, it’s a bit too early for food, y’know?” Remus raised his chin in a deep half a nod. “Anyway, can’t miss having you pour my tea, can I?” Ace asked blithely, raising a mug of tea in praise. Remus cracked a grin, ensuring the conversation was in fact left for dead. 

“Can’t be having that, can we?”

The peace didn’t last long, broken by a chortle from Sirius as he, joined by Peter and James, galloped into the Great Hall, taking seats around Remus and Ace. Jovial greetings were passed, Ace smiling tensely in an attempt to mask her disappointment. 

“Morning you two,” Sirius said with his usual devilish grin, “up and out early again, Moony.”

Sirius was always bursting at the seams with excitement; full of jokes and high on life itself. Very much like James, who had always been boisterous. And when the pair were together they were an awful lot to handle. Ace didn’t know how Remus coped. Like her, he was laid back, contemplative and calm. Despite that thought, it was generally a good thing Remus was always with them, he had a way of reigning them in when they got too excitable. 

Remus struck Sirius with a chastising look.

“Always am,” he mused, cocking an eyebrow.

Sirius winked in response, a way that indicated a personal joke had been shared. There had been countless times in the past when Ace made the mistake of asking the boys what their jokes meant. The thought of Remus’ nickname sprang to mind. Ace had once made a conscious choice of asking how such a name had been born. Regret had followed. She should have assumed it was something crude. Nevertheless, a mistake was made and a lesson learned; mind your business and in turn, avoid painfully long, overzealous stories of pranks and mild nudity. This was, of course, one of the times Ace minded her business. 

“Any particular reason? Say, Ace, you’re up early too!” Sirius was grinning ever so wide now, giving himself a look of a Cheshire Cat. Leaning against the table, an elbow lounging a little too far into the middle. Ace was forced to physically resist a grimace at the sound of Sirius chomping an apple. 

Ace shook her head at Sirius. He was too loud. Especially for this time in the morning. 

“What’s with the analysis?” Remus demanded. Sirius only smirked only response, shaking his head. 

“I don’t get it,” James grumbled, jabbing a stubby piece of toast into the yolk of a fried egg. The yellow insides spilled. “Are we teasing them? If so, what about? I like to have a backstory before making fun, you know?” 

“That’s deep of you,” Ace scoffed, sharing a look of simultaneous disbelief with Remus, who grinned amusedly at her sardonic tone. Her stomach fluttered at the gratification, a feeling that was all too familiar when she was with Remus. 

*

_Tuesday 27th September, 1975_

Classes were a mundane chore. Not that Ace didn’t enjoy learning, especially in practical classes where she excelled. Even theory wasn’t a graft, it was therapeutic even and an excuse to ignore those around her. Especially during potions class, which Gryffindors had the pleasure of sharing with Slytherins. 

Ace had always felt uneasy at the thought of sharing this class with Slytherins. They had a tendency for misusing potion products when playing heinous pranks on other students. She tried not to dwell on this, hoping that Professor Slughorn - a rotund man who had a knack for favouring students with well known parents and a talent for potion making - would be a little more observant this year.

It was in that potions class when Ace and Regulus were thrown together for the second time that term. Professor Slughorn bounded in the first morning of term jovially explaining that there would be no need to take a seat, as this year they would be assigned. 

With every passing class, a precarious feeling grew, but with no good reason. Ace hadn’t known what she’d expected when the two were inevitably around one another again and she wasn’t shocked that Regulus acted as if her presence was indiscernible. But, for Ace, there was no ignoring his imposing presence and the low grumble of his voice as he tried and failed to talk quietly to his friends sitting a desk over.

Regulus was like a stone in her shoe, impossible to ignore and mildly aggravating. He managed to strangle every one of her nerves just by being there and Ace was at a loss of what to do about it. So, she glared at him. Albeit, subtly and from beneath her lashes, still it was an unusual concept. It wasn’t often Ace allowed herself to feel tormented by other peoples actions. If she allowed that, well, there’d be barely a moment in the day where Ace wouldn’t be aggravated. 

The classroom buzzed with the muddled voices of students, until they were put to rest by Professor Slughorn as he began to take attendance. Potions class lasted two hours, a double period of bubbling tension between Ace and Regulus. It wasn’t clear if Regulus felt the numb air between them. Had he been thinking about their time on the train as religiously as she had? If Ace had to guess, it would be a firm no. Regulus Black had so many other important things to dwell on - friends, quidditch, classes, crushes - there wasn’t a chance he’d spare a thought for that. Unlike, Ace, who rarely had an experience worth dwelling on. Most of her time was spent cooped in the library, shut in the dormitory reading, or if she decided to push the boat out; in the common room and only if an armchair by the fire could be snagged. And most of that time would be spent alone. 

When a person spends as much time alone as Ace, the presence of loneliness becomes almost alluring. Provocative in nature, loneliness had a tendency to grip tightly to its victims. So tight that it would seep into their lives in the most unexpected ways, most of all when it was uninvited. There’s a certain level of tiredness that equates only to the exhaustion of socialising and that was what loneliness fed on. Draining its victims of their will to exist among others. It was that type of exhaustion Ace felt when around others for too long, it was like her social clock had expired and it was time to retreat back to her comfort zone. 

It was in that way she had time too think so much. Yes, it was lonely and maybe a little bit sad, but it was better than feeling the ache in her bones and the burn in her heart that told her to just go be alone. And it was all the more better imagining what could be, rather than living a reality where nothing ever was.

It may have been pathetic, but Ace dwelled on those moments with Regulus, where she saw him as a vulnerable, almost kind human... before he unequivocally resorted back to being selfish, arrogant and well, everything else a typical fourteen year old boy was. And if she never admitted those thoughts, never really fed them when she was consciously there, then they did no harm. And Ace lived by the thought of romanticising her life, especially if there was no one else to do it for you. 

As the weeks gave way, falling into a chilly October, the memory of the Hogwarts Express was gradually dwindled into nothingness. There was only so long you could hold onto something that was barely there, especially when you had to work beside the living embodiment every Tuesday afternoon for two hours. It became clear to Ace that Regulus was nothing like the boy she’d met on the train. The boy Ace had the pleasure of being potions partners with, was rude, snide and filled with haughty self assurance. 

It was a Friday morning during potions theory when Ace had quite enough of Regulus and his pompous attitude. She could barely focus after the sour turn of her morning. Breakfast went as it usually did, Ace was met by the sight of Remus Lupin poised in the Gryffindor common room; their good mornings were brief, but as usual, the thrumming of butterflies was not.

Ace left the Great Hall with a spring in her step, joined by Remus and the other Marauders, until finally turning off from them at the top of the Entrance Hall stairs. With rare optimism, Ace followed the corridor towards potions class in the dungeons. Ace had always found it odd how emotions could blind someone; happiness had a way of blurring her vision, until the good was all that she could see. Until it was inevitably snatched away. That morning, the happiness was taken by the same three girls who had tormented Ace for merely existing. 

She heard their snickers first and then Chittok’s unpalatable voice, “here’s Gryffindork, look!” 

For half a moment, Ace found herself silently cursing Remus and the way he could make her forget the despondency that hung in her heart. The three Ravenclaws had rounded, sharing a look of smug satisfaction.

“Honestly, if I had hair like that, I’d just shave it off,” Dana Oswald drawled, casting a demeaning look over Ace.

Their laughs all sounded the same, hollow and cold, much like the feeling that had iced its way through her veins. In her jovial vulnerability, she’d allowed them to strike a nerve. It had been a good hair day today, an occurrence that was remarkably rare. 

Mrs Potter would never miss an opportunity to gush compliments about Ace’s hair, telling her she should be grateful for the crowning glory she’d been bestowed with. Ace couldn’t seem to agree, having never been a fan of her curly hair, that never seemed to sit right. Always too bushy, or too tangly, or falling somewhere between waves and curls as if it couldn’t decide where to settle. Today, it had fell just nice, slinking down her shoulders in toffee streaked rivulets. And now, she was regretting wearing it down at all. 

“Can we go? I really can’t stand this whole Emo thing,” Mallory interjected, running a cold gaze over Ace.

Huffing a short sigh and rolling her eyes, Ace turned to walk away muttering about ‘idiot labels’. With a snarl, Dana Oswald lunged forward snatching Ace’s wrist in an iron grip, jarring her backwards. 

“Don’t be rude, Potter, speak up if you have something to say.” Oswald’s breath was hot on the back of Ace’s neck. Chittok scoffed a laugh; where a usual guffaw would have been due; even she was taken aback by Oswald’s physicality. 

Ace’s throat felt like cotton wool, gripping at her breath and drying out her lungs, she jarred her wrist away.

Oswald broke into a hysterical chortle, her icy eyes dancing with mirth, “why so jumpy?”

The only comfort was the feeling of Ace’s hands wound over her stomach, it wouldn’t get the girls to shut up and leave her alone, but at least it had her feeling less exposed. Ace couldn’t trust herself to speak, fearful that her words would betray her and the tears beading at the back of her eyes would fall.

“What?” She muttered, after a short moment of contemplation. Oswald curled a smirk sly enough for a Slytherin. Slowly, a thought dawned on Ace. A cruel thought that had been shared between the trio of girls before her, two of whom looked mildly uncomfortable. Cold satisfaction drew over Oswald’s hawking features. 

“I said: why so jumpy?” Oswald asked again, collapsing the words into small syllables as if talking to an infant. 

The world seemed to slope beneath Ace’s feet, threatening to give way. It was a feeling she recognised instantly, alongside the tightness in her throat and the staggering breaths in the base of her chest. Ace began praying the ground would really give way and she would be swallowed whole. It was all wrong, what they were doing, what they were saying, but Ace couldn’t find the words to speak. All she could muster was a movement of her lips, as if chewing on non-existent words. There was nothing she could do, so she stood and listened as Oswald taunted her and Chittok stuck in her two sickles. Ace remained motionless, clenching her school robes, the only reminder that she was real. This was real. This was happening. 

“Bugger off, will you?” A new voice barked, drawing Ace momentarily back to earth. A brooding figure of a striking boy had materialised before her. When had he arrived? Why was he here, breaking apart the group and sticking up for Ace? A fierce, rueful scowl broke the handsome features of Regulus Black.

Always the calm and collected, Louisa Chittok was the first to break the momentary silence that followed Regulus’ arrival, “what’s it got to do with you?” Chittok had surged forward from her place on the windowsill, where she had been sat poised with Mallory Thorndike, who did nothing other than observe with her hawk like stare. Chittok stood with a hand pressed to her hip, tall and lithe, chin raised with an air of dignified dominance, ready to pounce if Regulus said a word wrong about her cousin. 

Regulus only tutted at her attempt of intimidation, “go mouth off to someone who’ll actually bite back - or is that why you’re doing it?” A humourless laugh broke through the corridor, Regulus throwing his head back in exaggerated amusement.

Not for the first time, Ace was left speechless and silently grateful for the dim lighting of the dungeons as it masked the crimson in her cheeks, but the light did nothing for the anger that was building within her. Regulus had stalked in and lit a bonfire right in the pit of Ace’s stomach and there was nothing she could do to stop it. 

“Oh, get bent! You’re just as bloody bad!” Dana shrieked incredulously. Abandoning her post of observer, Thorndike came forward to stand among her friends, sweeping Ace with an unreadable gaze before greeting her with the tiniest of smirks. 

“Whatever, come on,” Mallory interjected, her cold eyes mulled over Regulus and Ace for a long moment, “looks like Potter’s got herself a bodyguard.” Bottle blonde hair sweeping as she turned, marching back towards the entrance hall, her friends following suit.

The noise of feet battering stone rolled through the corridor - breakfast had ended and the corridor was soon going to be filled with fourth years paving their way to potions. 

Slunk in the shadows Ace boiled with rage, her mouth opened, but words betrayed her. 

“Don’t bother thanking me -“ Regulus spat sourly. His arrogance was astounding, and despite seeing bursts of it previously, it was still shocking as to how anyone could embody such pretentiousness. 

The words fell mercilessly from her mouth, before Ace could even register she was speaking, “I wasn’t going to thank you!” Calm brown eyes were suddenly alive with rage, “I was going to say - before you _rudely_ cut me off, that-“ Ace was forced to skip steps too keep up with Regulus, who had wasted no time in stalking off towards the potions classroom at the other end of the corridor.

Bronze torches hung at intervals along the corridors, braced between arched windows that allowed only streaks of sunlight through. A damask patterned rug was the only thing that softened the sound of their footsteps, which in no doubt would have been echoing off the walls otherwise. 

“What makes you think I care for what you have to say.” Regulus’ words came in long leering drawls pulling at the nerves in Ace’s chest.

The previous panic had taken over Ace, leaving no room for anything more. So, it was truly remarkable she had enough space for anger. Ace’s book bag bounced ruthlessly off her thigh, the only thing that kept her grounded in those moments. Ace knew it was wrong, but feeling pain when she was most panicked was one of the only things that kept her mind, well in her mind. Whether it was fingernails digging into the balls of her hands, the scraping of teeth into the fleshy part of her cheek or even book bags striking off her thigh; Ace appreciated their being there. And right now, she needed that more than anything else. 

“Excuse me! You had no right to do that - I was fine on my own!” Ace had caught up to Regulus now, and for every one of his long strides, Ace had to take two in order to keep up. 

“Think of it as even now, Potter. You have one on me and I have one on you.” 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Ace couldn’t place a time she’d ever heard herself speak this way to anyone. Except, maybe, James, but he wasn’t just anyone. And the sound of it had her flushing a deeper shade of red, even Regulus seemed momentarily taken aback. Though the vague smirk that followed showed he was entirely unfazed. 

“Potter,” he said with a calm self assurance, “just forget it. We’re even now.” 

“You’re bloody unbelievable,” Ace spluttered, the words falling onto deaf ears as Regulus had turned into the classroom.

For a moment Ace stood dumbfounded, listening to the footfall of her peers as they came down the corridor. She did nothing when they brushed by her and into the classroom. Ace could only stand, red faced, as she thought just how attractive Regulus Black looked when he was angry.

Like many thoughts prior, that one was short lived. Ace sat at the very edge of her seat, drawn to the brink of the mahogany desk and well away from Regulus Black, lest the unsavoury thoughts from moments before creep back into her mind. It was all she could do to stop the flustered heat rising in her cheeks again. His sidelong glances didn’t help either, they came swiftly, as though they didn’t exist at all and if it wasn’t for Professor Slughorn’s jovial voice booming from behind his desk, Ace would have had nothing else to concentrate on. 

“Would you stop shaking your leg?” Regulus snapped in a sudden low whisper, that made Ace jolt.

She provided no reply, other than the forcing of her leg to stillness. Professor Slughorn’s lecture seemed like a world away, Ace could do nothing much than to hum into odd words. Draught of living Death was the days topic, though Ace couldn’t imagine she’d learn much, her mind was in overdrive. 

“Page twenty four people, come on - get them pages turning!”

Ace was aware of the command, but her brain wasn’t cooperating, and there was nothing she could do to register the words.

“Did you not hear? Page twenty four,” Regulus muttered clearly vexed, when Ace made no move to get her textbook from the depths of her book bag, he shoved his own potions book to the middle of the table. “Lights on, but clearly no ones home.”

Ace would have laughed, but she could barely breathe. 

“Right then, who wants to start of the reading?” Professor Slughorn said heartily, his bushy handlebar moustache quivering. “If no one volunteers, then I’ll have to do the honour of electing one of you...” his tone sung through the room, students stared blankly making no move to offer themselves up. Slughorn’s eyes scanned the sea of robes, settling onto a student who was usually listening with keen ears. 

It was the chorus of laughs that brought Ace back down to earth. Her mind had been wandering... thoughts reeling into turmoil. Dana Oswald thought... well, Ace didn’t want to admit what Oswald thought, but it was bad. And her friends, they thought the same too...

In another life, Ace would have brushed off their miserable attempts at hurting her feelings; she would have pushed their insults to the back of her mind until nightfall, when the pain could be safely unpacked without fear of judgment. But today, it was like Oswald had reached into the darkest depths of her mind and plucked a thought Ace had locked away. The unsavoury thoughts that tinged her nights with red. On more than one occasion. Ace had thought about what it would be like to follow the veins her skin with a knife. To see how the tension of pain could be released in ribbons of crimson red. But they were only thoughts. They had only ever been thoughts... unnecessary, pervasive, disgusting... thoughts.

“Earth to Ace?” Professor Slughorn said cheerfully, a wide smile stretched beneath his moustache.

The joke fell onto deaf ears, Ace’s mind was no where near earth - it was somewhere mid orbit, focussing on thoughts that had never seen the light of day. A soft nudge on the ribs from Regulus shocked her back to reality. Blinking with embarrassment, Ace offered an apologetic smile towards the teacher. 

“Sorry, Professor.“ Focusing her eyes back onto Slughorn, attempting to ignore the beady eyes of her peers.

Beside her, Regulus watched with an expression that could only be described as worrisome. Ace Potter was never dismissive in class, especially not in potions, as Regulus had learnt since sharing a desk the last few weeks. She’d always be on time, if not early, textbook ready - he assumed with the reading already done - notebook open, extra parchment ready and peacock feather quill, dipped and poised. Ace was nothing, but prepared. And today it was like an entirely different person - Regulus wasn’t shocked, especially after what he’d just witnessed. Hell, he was surprised he could focus, given his reaction. 

“Second paragraph, if you will, Miss Potter.” Professor Slughorn offered a kind and encouraging smile.

It was every introverts worst nightmare, being asked to read aloud in class. And Ace could do nothing to mask her reluctance to the task, nevertheless she tugged Regulus’ textbook towards her, eyes searching for the paragraph in question. The margins were scribbled with cartoon like doodles, captioned in a neat hand - at any other time, Ace would have been intrigued at Regulus’ markings, but now they were distracting. 

Issuing a deep breath and channelling any remaining energy into it, Ace began to read. 

“A Befuddlement Draught is a type of potion which causes - causes the drinker to become beliger- I mean - belligerent,” stumbling over the words, Ace risked a glance upwards.

The class was utterly unfazed at her mistake, but Ace would swear blind she’d seen the exchange of annoyed glances. Everything seemed magnified, her breathing was too loud, her words weren’t clear and for some reason she couldn’t read properly. But she forced her way through, forcing her reckless thoughts to remain still.

“... and reckless. Typical ingredients include scurvy grass, lovage and sneezwort-“ Ace took another breath, unwilling to go on with the paragraph, she looked pleadingly at Professor Slughorn, who had finally took note of the uneasiness in his pupils voice. 

He nodded, a wide smile of appraisal, “thank you, Miss Potter... five points to Gryffindor... who would like to pick up where Miss Potter left off, eh?” The textbook was moved from beneath Ace and back to the centre of the desk by nimble fingers, Ace vaguely heard Regulus volunteering himself. 

“Scurvy grass, lovage and sneeze wart plants are most officious in the inflaming of the brain, and are therefore much used in Confusing and Befuddlement Draughts, where the wizard is desirous of productions hot-headedness and recklessness...” Regulus’ voice spoke with a steadiness Ace had strived for. He didn’t stumble or stutter, but remained calm and contentious, as his low rumble effortlessly stretched to the edges of the classroom. Ace could do nothing, but glare at the pretentious boy beside her. After his act this morning, she didn’t know how he dared try to embarrass her more. 

The next person took up reading, but Ace wasn’t listening.

She’d never hated someone before, but she would bet her life this was what hate felt like.

“No need to be so red, no ones even looking at you,” Regulus said in a quipping tone, that Ace took as parsimonious. From the glare he received, Regulus didn’t speak to Ace for the rest of class. He didn’t risk another glance at the girl beside him, who was so obviously overwrought with nerves. 


	5. A Monster of a Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus admits he has a crush

_Monday 3rd October, 1975_

The hearth of the Gryffindor common room burned with inexorable life, basking the Gryffindor common room in a burnt orange glow. The Autumn chill was in full swing, bringing with it dewy mornings and bleak white skies. The wind was fierce and crisp, nipping at any unfortunate soul who ventured into the Grounds without their winter cloaks; outdoor classes had become a chore and the sanctuary of the common rooms were a beckoning oasis of mirth and warmth. Students, full to the brim of heart warming stew, were bundled in the comfort of their common rooms; as it was, four trouble makers had subdued themselves to the fireside, where they were in a deep discussion. 

Remus Lupin, poised in an overstuffed armchair looking rosy cheeked; on lookers would have been inclined to presume it was due to the heat of the fire, but his friends knew differently. In particular, Sirius Black, who was the cause for Remus’ fluster. James and Peter were indifferent to the topic, not entirely engaged as they hunched over Peter’s transfiguration homework. James’ impatience was growing, he just didn’t know how to explain the topic any more and Peter just couldn’t understand it. Caught by Remus’ shrill exclamation, the homework was abandoned and the pair honed in on the conversation at hand. 

“Please - stop it -“ Remus begged, shaking his head.

“Not until you admit it!” Wagging an accusatory finger, Sirius barked a heinous laugh at the shade of red Remus had ensued. It only added to his suspicions. In his usual fashion, Sirius was teasing Remus about his new found crush on their friends bashful, younger sister. Remus was reluctant to admit anything. 

“There’s nothing to admit!” Remus exclaimed in potent defiance; his voice rising a few octaves, only adding to Sirius’ amusement. A look of simultaneous knowing passed over the faces of Sirius, James and Peter. The topic had bore many discussions in those previous weeks of school and it was beginning to bore Remus, who felt only confusion and culpability for his feelings. 

They had been brewing for a while. Inconspicuous at first; lingering looks as Ace walked by, the feeling of undeniable glee whenever she was around, the ease of their conversations and how she could make him smile with a simple look. And then the feelings came all at once, like a rushing wave onto a shore, washing away any sense of direction - any sense of morale. It shouldn’t have happened. Remus should have been more observant, kept his walls up and Ace at an arms length. 

There were many reasons a crush was calamitous for Remus Lupin; especially one like this. First, Ace was James’ younger sister, though James was seemingly indifferent at the thought, Remus couldn’t budge the overwhelming guilt. He had been his first friend. The first to make him feel accepted, like he really belonged somewhere. He was the first to make Remus feel like he deserved to be happy. The first to know about his condition and accept him for it. 

And then there was the condition. How could he ever pursue a crush when he had that hanging over his head? It would be beyond selfish. Ace didn’t deserve someone like that; she deserved the world and someone who could give her it. Remus couldn’t be that for her. 

And it wasn’t like he was anything remarkable either; a scarred, nerdy looking boy; lanky and stringy, with limbs longer than he could handle at the best of times. He was clever, but not in an exceptional way, he relied on his books for knowledge. He wasn’t witty and funny, like James or mysterious, yet elusive, like Sirius. He wasn’t generous and effortlessly adorable, like Peter. Remus Lupin wasn’t remarkable, not one bit. 

“Oh, come on Remus, we all see how you look at her. You may as well admit it,” Peter stated diplomatically, grinning from ear to ear, always happy to indulge in the teasing Sirius began. 

Remus flushed deeper under the scrutiny of his friends. Was he that obvious? He’d been walking around sure that his feelings were masked. It was the only way he could live with himself otherwise. But then again, he should have known the boys would catch on soon enough. They knew him better than he knew himself. 

A moments silence passed over the group, three pairs of penetrating eyes pushing down on Remus. 

“I can’t - even if I did... I couldn’t exactly act on it, could I?” He admitted reluctantly, casting an embarrassed gaze into the fire. 

The flames cast a burning glow over his pale skin, igniting Remus’ eyes with a burning passion. Sirius, always the most forward of the group, especially when it came to getting his friends to admit their deepest feelings; rolled his eyes. 

“And why can’t you? You don’t mind that he has the hots for your sister, do you, James?” Sirius snapped his gaze onto James, who looked suddenly incredulous. 

“Well, when you put it like that!” 

Sirius tutted at James’ exaggeration, rolling his eyes at the boy. 

Night had rolled in now, darkening the common room. Students began to filter their way from the room and up the spiral staircases to begin their nighttime routines. Remus was beginning to wish he was one of them. Maybe, if he just got up and walked away? They’d follow, of course, picking the conversation up in the dorm. Maybe, if he feigned sleep? 

A perpetual frown settled over Remus’ features as it dawned on him that there was no escaping his friends’ strenuous attempts at getting him to admit something he’d thought he could run from. 

“ _Alright._ Alright - I fancy her.” Whoops of mirth were interrupted by Remus’ sullen tone, “not that anything will ever come of it.” 

“Why?” Peter deadpanned, glancing over at James and Sirius, afraid that he had missed something again. It wasn’t unusual for jokes to sweep straight over Peter’s head, leaving him to figure out his friends wit in his own slow pace. Which often meant he was left behind when the conversation took an inevitable turn. This time, the three of them were equally confused, though, James seemed to fasten onto Remus’ deeper meaning much quicker than the other two. 

“In case you three have all forgotten there’s my _furry little problem._ ” Remus lowered his voice to a whisper, glancing nervously around him even though there was no one in earshot. Sirius tutted again, throwing his head back in defiance, groaning theatrically. 

“We get it, Remus, you’ve got the _ksss, ksss_ and the _grrr, grrr,”_ Sirius chortled, pulling his fingers down as if they were fangs and over his ringlets of hair mocking two ears, curling them in an imitation that was far from the real thing. Remus struck him with an indifferent look, expecting nothing less of him. James, however, glared softly at Sirius. Avoiding James’ pitiful look, Remus settled back onto the dancing flames, sighing at the thought of his own bad luck. 

“I’m a monster...” he decided and to no one in particular. 

Remus didn’t need to look at his friends to see their faces, they’d heard it plenty before and each time they assured him, it was all in his head. His self deprecation was as annual as the weekend, there wasn’t a month that went by where Remus didn’t fall into his hole of self pity. But his friends were always there to drag him out and now was no different. Although, Remus was shocked to hear a snigger sound from behind him, even if it was covered badly by a cough. 

“Sorry, Remus, but I just can’t take you seriously - such a big monster, you’re wearing a knit sweater, for Merlins sake!” Peter chortled, Sirius joined him with his usual obnoxious guffaw. Nudging his friends a little too harshly, James heaved a soft sigh. 

There was no one Remus’ depression effected more than James. He’d always been the same, it was like James had took each of his friends under his wing, and when he did, he invested their problems too. Remus’ self deprecation, Sirius’ negligent home life, Peter’s insecure ways - he took them and he made them his problems too and in turn, he received loyalties some would only dream of having. 

“Come on, mate... you know that’s not true... and Ace, she won’t ever see you like that. You can trust her, I bet my life on it.” James spoke with such sincere certainty, Remus almost gave in and believed him. But the little voice in his head, sounding suspiciously like his father, told him it wasn’t worth it. There was a murmur of agreement between the boys. The apples of Remus’ cheeks broke into a small and grateful smile; the three boys let out a breath of relief. 

“We’ll all help you,” Sirius offered, “by God, you’ll need it.” 

Remus snorted at Sirius’ talent at turning the a deep conversation into one of light hearted banter. 

“Does that mean we have to let her hang around more?” James asked with a hint of mocking disgust; only to be quickly shushed by Sirius who had immediately indulged in giving Remus advice about girls. James couldn’t help, but think the advice was lost in air; as much as he insisted he was a ladies man, Sirius didn’t have much experience in the matter, and what he did have wasn’t going to be of any use to Remus, who was bound to be a little more inconspicuous with his flirting. 

“Speaking of the devil, there she is.” 

The group settled into a silence. Remus’ cheeks regaining their previous fluster as Ace made her way down the ivory stone steps, making a beeline for the fireplace. 

Looking small in her winter cloaks, Remus couldn’t help breathing in the sight of Ace. Rosy cheeked and red nosed, mascara slightly smeared from the foggy chill of the grounds. She was still in her school uniform despite the school day ending hours ago. It looked like she’d come straight from the grounds, which was unusual, Ace was one to stay where warmth was ensured. He hadn’t saw her at dinner either, actually Remus hadn’t saw Ace since breakfast that morning. 

“Anyone sat there?” Ace asked, in a breathy tone that implied she’d rushed up seven flights of stairs. The boys shook their heads. Three of them sharing a look of inconspicuous mischief, it was something Ace was used to seeing on their faces and one she was inclined to ignore it. 

“God, I’m freezing,” Ace gushed, perching onto the edge of the armchair and angling her body in a way she could feel the benefit of the fire and still be in view of the boys. “Feel my hands.” Before Remus could protest, Ace thrust her bare hands onto his warm cheeks. An intake of sniggers from the others had Remus wishing he could fall through the bottom of the armchair.

“Very cold,” Remus agreed, Ace flashed a grin thrusting her hands towards the fire. Risking a glance towards his friends, Remus saw they were acting oddly nonchalant. Which meant they were listening to everything and acting a little too casual for their usual demeanour. 

“I didn’t see you at dinner,” Remus ventured hesitantly. It wasn’t odd to miss Ace at mealtimes; it was a miracle if she attended two in a day, but Remus hadn’t saw her at lunch today either, nor had she eaten at breakfast. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Ace had made an awful habit of avoiding meals and Remus couldn’t help, but feel a little worried at the prospect. She was a slight girl and if it carried on, it could become a problem. Even so, Remus never liked bringing it up in such a forthright way. 

Thankfully, Ace brushed of his comment with a lighthearted laugh, “I’ve been down at the greenhouses with Professor Mullein - the mandrakes needed repotting ASAP. They’re moving into adolescence now and the males were getting a little aggressive with one another,” Ace explained with airy revelry. 

“What, so you haven’t eaten today?” James interjected suddenly, confirming Remus’ suspicions that the conversation between him and Ace was anything, but private. 

Ace, lounging sleepily in the armchair, her winter cloaks bundled beneath her and her feet resting on the stone fire hearth, cast James a look that could only be portrayed as derisive annoyance. Before going onto explain that she hadn’t missed dinner, but instead had tea and sandwiches with a Professor Mullein. Appeased with her explanation, James went back to his discussion of Quidditch, leaving Remus and Ace to indulge in the mildly interesting topic of mandrakes. 

Remus went to bed that evening feeling light and fluffy, to say the least. He could listen to Ace chat all day if he could. Remus had never had a particular interest in Herbology, but Ace made it sound so miraculous that he couldn’t resist taking a sincere interest in the topic. She had such a passion for those plants and Remus thought it was nice too see Ace passionate for once. It was becoming all too common for Ace to reduce into herself, hiding from the world whenever she could. It was an unmistakable sight - she’d avoid him after school, disappear into the depths of the library and not return to the common room until just before curfew and even then she would slink up to her dormitory - but tonight, there had been no sign of that and Remus relished in their time together. Even if it mostly consisted of Ace info dumping about the different plants there were in the private greenhouse. Remus could do nothing else than to think, Ace was the most beautiful girl in the world when she was genuinely happy.


	6. A Magnanimous Morning

_Tuesday 4th October, 1975_

Happiness always brought on the deepest of sleeps, a particularly rare occurrence for Ace, who had trouble sleeping on the best of nights. Yesterday had been a sublime day, the good spirits lasted well into the night and only doubled when she spent the majority of the evening chatting with Remus by the fire.

The morning was a particularly chilly one, rain pelted at the window pane chinking like tiny pieces of gravel. Ace shifted sluggishly, dreary light punctured the gap in the curtains of the four poster. Where there would normally be the sound of the wireless radio, shuffling slippers on stone and the running of the shower, was an eerie silence. With a jolt Ace pounced from the duvets, her alarm had failed to wake her and she was twenty minutes late. 

The morning was a rush, she’d already missed breakfast, but there was no time to dwell on time missed with Remus; her first class was Study of Ancient Runes and that was one you didn’t want to be late for. Professor Vector was a harsh, inscrutable man with a dire dislike for Ace Potter.

It was astonishing how fast one could get ready when in a rush, because Ace was out of the door in ten minutes flat with enough time to make it to class. That was until she rounded a corner a little too quickly, crashing face first into Dana Oswald. 

To say the girl wasn’t best pleased was an understatement. It was apparent that the taste for physicality had lingered from their last encounter, a fortnight ago, because Oswald struck out; first with a bitter lashing of heinous words and then a shove that sent Ace tumbling and her book bag skittering across the floor. The unmistakeable sound of ink bottles shattering echoed through the empty hall. The murmurs of digression from her friends did nothing to tame Oswald’s striking words. 

“Dana,” Chittok warned, her thick tone struck Ace, shattering the shock encasing her. 

Oswald took the warning in her stride, glaring down at Ace before stalking down the corridor, closely followed by Chittok and Thorndike. Their lingering stares of pity were nothing to Ace, if they really disagreed with Oswald’s actions they’d have done something more... surely. With tears beading her eyes, Ace pulled herself from the floor, collecting the stained book bag on her way. Ink dribbled from the base of the canvas, sulking its way onto Ace’s hands. 

Sniffling the tears back and choking on a sob, Ace scooped the remnants of the broken ink bottles into the bin. The ink staining her hands with raven stickiness. She was in half a mind to just go back to bed, but she knew the consequence; her mind would roam with thoughts that were infinitely worse than her morning. And surely it couldn’t get much worse than this. It wasn’t until she was almost at the door of Ancient Runes that Ace realised her wand was no where to be found and there was no way to clean up her hands before entering the classroom. The session was in full swing; partners discussing the worksheet and deciphering runes. That was what they were meant to be doing, but Vector’s laziness out weighed his strictness, and that meant there wasn’t much deciphering happening. 

Slipping inconspicuously through the door, Ace had hoped to slink by Professor Vector, who was sat behind his desk ignoring the loud class before him. “Nice of you to join us, Potter.” Came his monotonous voice, Ace turned on her heel, bracing herself for a telling off. 

“Sorry I’m late, Professor,” She mumbled, trying and failing to keep her stained hands hidden from anyone’s view. Ace was vaguely aware of her stained bag in perfect view of her peers. Professor Vector was a balding man in his late sixties, who had no patience for his students, especially those too quiet for their own good. He met Ace with a piercing stare, papery lips held in a taught frown. A distinct feeling of discomfort settled over Ace, she wished he’d say something - yell at her and get it over with, instead he nodded for her to take a seat. 

“Skower will catch you up. See me at the end.” With one last glare, Vector returned to his crossword puzzle. 

Ace made her way to her desk in the centre right row close to the back, Angelica Skower was already in her seat. Silky, dark hair poured over her small shoulder as she studied the worksheet; one of the only students who was actually taking notice of their work; seemingly oblivious to Ace until she took the seat beside her. 

Angelica looked up, greeting Ace with a blinking look. Angelica Skower was easily one of the nicest girls in Gryffindor, she always made an effort to ask Ace how she was and greet her with a good morning and good night. Angelica was the closest thing Ace had to a friend at Hogwarts; whenever the pair were seated together, they always managed to have a good little giggle at anything and everything, but that was as far as their friendship ventured. 

“Have you only just got up?” Angelica asked, her angular eyes alight with concern. Ace nodded, slumping down in her chair. “I told Florie to wake you before she left, you slept through your alarm again.” There was no malice in her tone, only sincere comfort. Ace doubted it was possible for Angelica to be malicious, Florence, on the other hand was more acquiring.

Florence Catchpole, another dorm mate of Ace’s and the only friend she’d ever had, until she wasn’t one anymore. There wasn’t much to say about Florence, she was often a fickle girl, who enjoyed nothing more than gossip and sly malevolence. 

Ace shook her head, muttering about how Florence hadn’t woken her. The ink on Ace’s hand was dry, but still held a little bit of tack too it, in vain she rubbed at them with her robes. 

“I was up and out early this morning... I should have just woke you myself, I’m sorry Ace. I’m sure Florie just forgot, you know how she is,” Angelica chatted with such ease and for once Ace didn’t feel envy at that, instead feeling an air of gratefulness in its place. A perfect distraction from her raging chest and ruling thoughts. 

“It’s okay... I’d have made it here on time if I hadn’t dropped my bag,” Ace lied ceaselessly, finally meeting the obsidian eyes of her partner. Angelica smiled softly, the apples of her cheeks popping with excessive blush. Ace tugged a worksheet in front of her, despite having no ink to write with, she began to read more to give her something to do than anything else. 

“What happened to you?” Came a drawling voice from the desk in front. 

Ace hadn’t even noticed him as she entered the room, which was certainly unusual. Since he had materialised before Ace in the dungeon corridors a fortnight before, sticking his nose where it didn’t belong, Ace and Regulus hadn’t met much. Other than potions class, of course, even then the pair barely passed a look, so to hear him speaking directly to her in the middle of Ancient Runes was shocking to say the least; and more so because that wasn’t his assigned seat. 

His eyes were stormy today, a thundering charge of funnel clouds, much like the ones gathering outside. The sight of them brought the memories of the Hogwarts Express surging back with rueful vengeance; the memory of that day seemed like another world away and it was probably for the best. Regulus Black was inscrutable at the best of times; every time Ace thought she had the boy figured out, she was sorely mistaken.

“Where’s your wand?” 

Ace hadn’t realised that no reply had actually passed her lips, “Forgot it,” she muttered sulkily. 

“Can’t do your mate a favour, Skower?” Regulus was leaning far back in his chair now, swinging unsteadily on two legs and using his elbow to rest on the girls desk. Angelica pressed her lips into a taught frown, studying Regulus for a moment. 

“Just because my mothers a cleaning fanatic doesn’t mean I am,” Angelica replied stiffly, before shooting Ace another apologetic glance. Angelica Skower was the daughter of a very talented and endearing witch with a knack for cleaning charms; an interest that hadn’t been passed onto her eldest daughter. 

His eyes ran over the girls for a moment, a ghost of a smirk running over his features. Shifting uncomfortably under his scrutinising gaze, Ace busied herself with a frayed thread on the cuff of her school robes.

Clearing his throat, Regulus slipped his wand from the folds of his robes, “it’s your lucky day, Potter. I’m feeling generous.” Pointing the tip of his wand towards the dorsal of Ace’s hands, “don’t worry, it won’t mess up your nails.” Regulus smirked cheekily, eyeing Ace’s terracotta coloured nails. He muttered a charm and a feeling of cool water flowed over Ace’s hands. The ink, liquified once again, flowed ceaselessly towards the centre of Ace’s hands, until it finally shimmered and disappeared. Angelica squeaked a soft ‘hmph’ of respect from the back of her throat. 

“Thanks,” Ace responded graciously, smiling softly at Regulus. 

Absently wondering how and why Regulus would know a nifty charm such as that one, he didn’t seem like the cleaning type. As if reading her mind Regulus disclosed that he had a habit of spilling ink, before offering to clean her bag too. Ace happily agreed, glad that she didn’t have to lug around a stained bag the entire day. Not before striking Ace with a look that lingered a moment too long, Regulus slipped off the desk without saying another word. Leaving the girls to stare at the back of his curling hair. 

Like most fourteen year olds, Angelica was a gossip at heart (much like Ace) and she had much to say about Regulus’ kindness. Ace laughed and nodded, allowing Angelica a moment to get whatever was brewing inside her out of her system. 

“I bet he’s crushing on you,” Angelica whispered, leaning towards Ace slightly. At that Ace stifled a giggle, shaking her head. 

“I highly doubt that, Angie.” The thoughts that followed ran under a law of their own, it was logically impossible for such a thing, but Ace being how she was couldn’t help, but imagine. There’s no harm in imagining, Ace chided herself. As long as the thoughts were hers and hers alone. For a long moment Ace felt budding excitement swelling in the pit of her stomach and her day was suddenly turned around. 

Study of Ancient Runes drew to an end without much studying of anything; the class was a dramatic one to say the least. For the last half an hour of lesson, Regulus was made to stand facing the chalkboard, a punishment for throwing an empty ink pot at Evan Rosier’s head. The same person who had got Regulus moved across the classroom barely five minutes after class began. Always nonchalant, Regulus stood there with his back straight and shoulders squared, every few moments you could see the rise of his cheeks as he bit back a snigger. Ace couldn’t help, but grin a little at the look of him; though the smile quickly dissipated at the sight of Professor Vector’s scowling face. 

“I expect you’ve brewed up some concoction of why you were late, Potter.” 

Flustered under his penetrating gaze, Ace busied her eyes with the cracks in the herringbone floor. “I - er -“ tripping over her words, Ace flushed a deeper shade of cherry red, unable to concoct even the simplest of excuses. This only vexed Vector more. His beady eyes narrowed.

”I- I - I, er - er - er, spit it out girl!” 

Forcing herself to meet his eyes, Ace swallowed a harsh lump building in her throat. She was in half a mind to admit that Dana Oswald had shoved her to the ground and that was why she was late. But all signs pointed to the one factor, Professor Vector would not give a single damn. 

“I dropped my bag on the way to class, Sir. My ink vials broke.” The excuse was lame and Ace was fully aware - from the corner of her eye she caught a soft movement - she’d almost forgotten about Regulus, who was still staring obediently at the blackboard. 

A long and low growl erupted from the back of Vector’s throat, “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell lies, Potter. At least your brother has the nerve to get straight to the point. You’re as arrogant as he is, if not worse. Detention, Saturday, 8pm - don’t be late,” Vector growled, speaking the last words so lowly Ace almost didn’t catch them. Afraid to ask a confirmation of the time, Ace nodded before scuttling away and towards her next class, the vague idea that Regulus may be joining her for that detention too. 


	7. Piece by Piece

_Saturday 9th October, 1975_

Ace welcomed the weekend with an excitement she wasn’t used too; it was unusually warm for October, the sun breaking through the bleak white sky and spraying down in its usual glory. Though, she had planned to stay in, Ace looked forward to basking in the day light through the wide windows of the Gryffindor common room, knowing the sun’s warmth was most likely a ruse and in usual Autumn fashion, the wind would be as bitter as usual. Lounging in her comfies, Ace sat on a window seat overlooking the vast grounds of Hogwarts, a book propped open on her knees.

Her peace was short lived, disturbed by the appearance of Sirius and Remus. In their usual fashion, an underlying mischief channelled beneath Sirius’ nonchalant grin and Remus looked merely uncomfortable, shifting from foot to foot and fiddling with the cuffs of his burgundy knit jumper. Strangely, James and Peter were no where to be seen. 

Opening his mouth to spout a greeting of good morning, Sirius was silenced by Ace’s finger. A warning that he best shut up until she reached a stopping point in her book. Momentarily silenced Sirius took the opportunity to slip beside Ace on the window seat, picking her feet up to rest on his legs. 

“Any reason you two are disturbing my Saturday read?” Ace asked, as she came to the end of her page, closing her book once the page was marked. Remus smiled apologetically, Ace smiled in a way that told him she spoke in jest. Sirius, thrumming his long fingers on Ace’s legs glanced between the pair - it may not have been obvious to Ace, but he was bubbling with excitement. “Where’s the other two then?” Ace glanced around with a hint of nervousness; it was unusual to get two Marauders without the other pair following and it was a wide known fact that if you did, you may be the victim of a prank. 

“Er - detention,” Remus replied a little too briskly, earning himself a pointed glance from Sirius. 

“Yep, detention. The little numpties got themselves caught by Filch the other night,” Sirius disclosed. Ace mused a hum in reply, nodding deeply. She knew it was better to ask what they had been up to. “So, we are two people down for a Hogsmeade trip.” 

Narrowing her eyes suspiciously, Ace glanced between the two boys, her look lingering for a small moment on Remus. His eyes were else where, cast over the grounds. He looked pleasant and deep in thought, Ace wished she knew what he was thinking about. “You do know there isn’t a person limit to go to Hogsmeade, right? You two can just go.”

Sirius tutted dramatically, “we _know_ that, Acacia, love -“ 

Sirius was cut off with a sudden menacing glare from Ace, “don’t call me ‘ _Acacia’._ ”

Since she was a child Ace had hated her full name. Whenever she heard it spoke aloud, her insides would shrivel with a cringing rage. Why her parents would name her such a ridiculous name was beyond her, especially when James got called well, _James._ A perfectly average name on all accounts. She’d been going by ‘Ace’ for as long as she could remember, so long that barely anyone knew her full name. If Ace could have kept it secret from James’ friends too, she would have, but unfortunately for her, nothing ever got by Sirius. 

Remus snickered, “we were wondering if you wanted to come, Ace.” He admitted, striking Sirius with a dubious look. “He just has to make everything dramatic.” Unspoken words passed between the boys, through a series of pointed looks, until Sirius sighed theatrically. 

“I’m not that dramatic,” he admitted, though doubtfully. It was Remus and Ace’s turn to share pointed looks now. There wasn’t a day that went by when Sirius wasn’t at least a little dramatic. 

The wind rippled the branches of the Forbidden Forest, the leaves were yet to turn their rustic shades of orange and brown, leaving the trees flush with dipping green. A silence had passed over the wizards, until Ace realised they were waiting for her reply. Opening her mouth to decline their modest invite, Sirius cut her off insisting that they wouldn’t take no for an answer - and so, Ace was shoved off up the girls staircase to get ready for Hogsmeade. 

The fourth year dorm was bursting with life when Ace entered. The three girls she shared with - Angelica Skower, Florence Catchpole and Shazia Zadari - were getting ready for their days too, no doubt they had dates of some sort. Angelica greeted Ace with her usual mirth, momentarily bringing the attention to her. It didn’t last, the girls quickly returned to their previous conversation, which Ace resisted listening too. It was a struggle, their topic was an interesting one. 

Florence had a secret boyfriend, who she’d been caught snogging behind the greenhouses one afternoon. Playing the usual fickle provocateur, Florence refused to dish any tasty details - claiming the pair weren’t serious, she didn’t like him like that, it was just a cheeky spontaneous happening - all the while Ace couldn’t help, but feel a little envious. The thought struck Ace as an interesting one to say the least. How romantic it would be to have a secret lover. 

Choosing a suitable outfit took longer than Ace liked to admit - deep blue, bell bottom jeans, with hand sewn constellations (charmed to shimmer in the right light), an off the shoulder black top with long flared sleeves, covered with a thick winter cloak, despite Sirius’ implications about Remus giving his jacket up if he got cold - finally, Ace made it down to the common room. Only to find Remus, looking patient as always, but alone, Sirius was strangely no where in sight. 

“Remus?” Ace asked tentatively, flushing slightly as he did a double take upon seeing her. “Where’s Sirius?” Seemingly over his initial shock, Remus gingerly explained that Sirius had forgot all about a date and had to rush off immediately. Ace’s heart fluttered to the pit of her stomach. She’d been reluctant to join the boys at first, but now dressed in a cute outfit, hair tied with a daisy patterned bow atop her head; she felt excited at the prospect of a day away from the castle. 

“We can still go if you like,” Remus said with a shy smile, “just for a coffee or something?” The elevated feeling returned and Ace felt herself nodding. Remus’ eyes sparked with a light that had Ace’s stomach whirring not for the first time that day. 

By the time the pair made it into Hogsmeade, it was midday and the street was bustling with students and locals alike. The presence of winter loomed in the scent of the dry, crisp wind. It held a chilly bitterness cut only by the streaks of an Autumn sun that hung high in the periwinkle sky. 

Ace found herself feeling glad that Sirius had a date because that allowed her to have Remus to herself. The pair walked the length of the cobble stone road, laughing and chatting as they always did. Remus had an odd sense of humour and one you would never think to pin to a shy, contemplative boy like himself. He was much cruder than expected and poked absentminded fun at passers by. There was barely a moment the two weren’t laughing and Ace loved every moment of it. It was so easy to laugh with Remus and so easy to forget the brooding sadness in the back of her heart. 

The _Toad’s Whisker_ was a quirky little cafe on the outset of Hogsmeade, tucked deep into a side lane, hidden from the bustle of the main lane. The place was small and robust with panelled walls of mahogany, lined with ancient looking bookshelves, piled with even older looking books. Arched windows poured onto the side lane, the pair took a small table in front of a stretching double sash window on the second floor. A scent of cinnamon apple and pumpkin spice wafted through the cafe, encasing Ace’s sense’s. Out of all the hang outs in Hogsmeade - this was her favourite. Perfectly snug and well out of the way, not to mention the books that were free to read for as long as you liked, providing a coffee was ordered every half an hour. In the rare occurrences she traipsed into the village, the _Toad’s Whisker_ was where she could be found. 

A perky young witch brought their drinks to the table, “caramel hot chocolate for you... with cream and marshmallows,” she said with a pretty smile, before placing a steaming mug in front of Ace, “and a pumpkin spice latte, for you.” The witch set another shorter mug in front of Remus, before straightening up and brushing her hands over her apron. “I’ll have your cakes out in just a moment.” With a springy step she swanned away towards a small serving counter leading to a room out back. 

Ace cocked an eyebrow, “cakes?” 

Remus couldn’t resist a mischievous grin, “I got you a white chocolate and raspberry blondie, I know you’re partial to those,” he answered suavely. A flattered giggle poured from Ace. “And I got cheesecake,” Remus added as an after thought. The cakes arrived promptly, though her appetite was non-existent, Ace ate to appease Remus’ generosity. 

“You’ve got to try this,” Remus said, nodding towards his fork that was outstretched across the table. Happy to oblige, Ace leaned forward to take the offering, humming a strong nod of agreement. 

“Wow, that is nice.” 

The day flew by with a briskness that came hand in hand with fun. Two hot drinks and a short read of a comic book later, Remus and Ace were back on the Main Street of Hogsmeade paving their way towards a bookshop where they would spend the rest of the afternoon basking in the lighthearted laughs and thrumming butterflies caused by the other party.

As the afternoon drew in, so did an unsettling wind that gushed through the open lane, ruffling the hairs and cloaks of anyone unlucky enough to be outside. The previous morning’s sun had dipped behind a bleak flurry of white clouds, leaving behind a chilly briskness in its wake. But even the raw wind couldn’t dampen Ace’s mood. Her heart was soaring with a roaring optimism that she hadn’t felt in a long while. Being with Remus brought a nonsensical happiness that Ace couldn’t describe, but it was a feeling she liked and welcomed like an old friend. The wizards walked with their shoulder’s flush and their smiles wide. 

It took everything for Ace not to flush at the thought of their brushing fingers, thinking how simple it would be to hook her fingers through Remus’. The invasive thought was broke by a voice she hadn’t heard since her bad morning on Tuesday - Dana Oswald. If she had any luck at all, it would be bad luck. Of course, trust the best day she’d had in a long while to be ruined by the likes of Oswald and her posse. Feigning ignorance, Ace picked up her pace, hoping that Remus hadn’t caught the girls calls. 

“Ace,” Remus nudged her gently, “that girls shouting you.” His nod was one of innocent appeal, but Ace couldn’t help the feeling of resentment that followed. He was too kind for his own good... if only he knew what those girls said to her when no one else was around to hear. Then again, it was her own fault. She was an easy target and one who would never protest because she agreed with them.

Everything they said - that she was worthless? Absolutely. A crime against nature, with a face like hers? Well, if she could change it, God, she would. That she should just disappear... well, the thought had crossed her mind with a frequency Ace didn’t care to admit. At times, she wanted to run and never look back, to escape the numbness that chilled her heart. Instead, she was stuck there. Her feet unmoving, face set in a flat, impassive expression, and her mind shuddering with thoughts she hadn’t welcomed. 

“Just ignore them,” Ace murmured, shocking her feet into movement. The space between Remus’ eyebrows flushed and a perpetual frown shattered the features that had held such happiness a moment before. 

“Kept this a secret didn’t you?” Oswald chortled, in her usual shrill tone. The girls had stalked their way forward, standing barely a metre away. Inwardly sighing, Ace flashed a pleading look at Remus. At that point she didn’t care if Remus knew that this wasn’t the first time Oswald had teased her, she just wanted them gone. And she especially didn’t want to go through this in front of Remus of all people. 

Catching Ace’s eye, Remus spoke before she had the chance, “who are you?” A look passed over the group of girls. 

“No one - they’re no one,” Ace gushed forcefully. An underlying plea held in her tone, asking for them to stop where they were, save it for another time.

Oswald licked her lips with a hesitant thought, before breaking into a large cat like grin. “We’re her friends, silly. You’d think Ace would tell her friends about her new boyfriend?” Glancing over her shoulder, Oswald urged her friends to join in. 

Usually silent in their ranks, Thorndike passed a mulling look over Remus and Ace, narrowing her dark eyes. She humphed a short and humourless laugh, “out of everyone I didn’t expect to see you with Lupin, Ace.” The laugh formed an elusive smirk, Ace could only blink in response waiting with cold anticipation. 

“What do you mean?” 

Another snigger sounded from the base of Thorndike’s throat, even her friends didn’t see where she was going, but a coy glance had them smirking with eagerness. “I _mean,_ Ace, that I didn’t expect you to be with Lupin - especially after seeing the way you and Regulus Black are acquainted these days.” The words hung in the air with a malevolence that managed to lower the temperature. Her mouth moved, but no words came out. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ace replied with a stiffness she didn’t know she was capable off, but knew she’d pay for later. Taking Remus by the forearm, she dragged him away from the girls and towards the gravel track that lead to the castle. 

“ _Regulus Black?_ Please - tell me she’s joking?!” Remus erupted, his voice breaking as it rose an octave. Gravel sprayed under the harsh stomp of their trainers, Ace turning with a brisk rage. Tears beading her eyes. 

“Just forget them, Remus, please. I don’t know what they’re talking about and - I - don’t -“ Ace cursed herself as her own voice cracked, revealing the emotion she so desperately wanted to hide. 

“Hey, come here,” Remus soothed, pulling her into a tight hug. “It doesn’t take a genius to see they weren’t your friends, Ace... you don’t need to tell me anything, but I’m here for you.” Remus murmured the soft words into her hair, the feeling of his warm embrace was the only thing keeping her breaths steady. The spiced scent of woody aftershave intoxicated Ace and had her heart tap dancing.

Reluctantly, she pulled away, bracing herself to look into the tender eyes of Remus. “It’s nothing, honest.” Not an ounce assured, Remus nodded. And they set off back towards the castle, their feet scraping, a soft silence hanging over them, until it was broken by Remus. 

“You look really nice today, by the way. I wanted to tell you that earlier, but I didn’t know how.” The sincerity of his words would have had Ace’s heart fluttering only half an hour ago, but after what just happened Ace felt nothing, but bitter resentment. They had come to a concurrent stop at the base of the stone steps leading up into the entrance hall of Hogwarts. A light, bitter rain had begun to spit down on them. 

“Don’t, Remus - you don’t have to -“ Ace grimaced under his stare and the hurt that flooded to his eyes, “you don’t need to, make me feel better or whatever - it’s bad enough that you think you need to lie to get me to Hogsmeade.” The words poured from her before Ace had a chance to stopper them. This time Remus grimaced. 

“It wasn’t a lie... I -“. 

A soft rage had ignited at the base of Ace’s stomach. Finally, over the shock of the Ravenclaws ambush, she felt nothing, but shame and anger. Anger that she let them get to her again, shame that she really thought Remus might have liked her, embarrassment that he pitied her enough to actually lie and get her to Hogsmeade... and now, Remus was complimenting her from that same pity... it was all meaningless. Remus Lupin would never like Ace. Who would ever like her? 

“Honestly, Remus, I get where you’re coming from, but it really is embarrassing -“ For a moment, Ace didn’t understand why he looked so hurt. And then her mind caught up with the words she had spoke and how they must have sounded to him. A fist squeezed at Ace’s heart, until it dropped with a shudder into the pit of her stomach. 

“You think I’m embarrassing?” The question was rhetorical and he didn’t wait for an answer, Remus just nodded slightly and took himself off through the oak doors away from Ace. For a long moment, Ace stood overwhelmed with confusion and regret, until she ran after him - but Remus was no where to be found.


	8. You got a friend in me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ace has her detention and feelings are pulled into perspective. 
> 
> A/N: I’m pretty new to this website, so I don’t even know if this story is being viewed as much. If it is can anyone answer some questions for me;
> 
> what’s a subscription and how is that different to a bookmark? 
> 
> How do you find good fics to read? I can’t seem to find any, I don’t know if it’s just me being picky, or if I genuinely am using the website wrong? 
> 
> And how do you know if the stories been viewed? I understand hits - I think - is that how many times the story has been clicked on? 
> 
> If anyone could do me a favour and answer these questions, I will be eternally grateful.

_Saturday 9th October, 1975_

A good day was a rarity to Ace Potter, both a blessing and a curse. The days she felt anything, but a dull ache of numb sadness, were the days Ace missed being carefree and happy. Those days were few and far between and had been for longer than she cared to remember, but when the vivacious optimism came knocking at her door, Ace could do nothing, but welcome it in. Nine times out of ten, she would be left with a bitter regret - after all, the higher you felt meant the further you fell. And Ace always fell. The darkness of her four poster was Ace’s only comfort, salty tears splashed onto the pillow, she did nothing to stop their fall.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

Why had she said that to Remus? He didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve her problems and especially didn’t deserve her insecurities being projected onto him. And she didn’t deserve to have him as a friend. 

Shadows danced across the burgundy curtains, Ace strained against the darkness, trying and failing to pile her thoughts into neat little piles before she had to leave for detention. _Detention -_ Merlin and Morgana, she had almost forgot. It was just what Ace needed on a day like this, detention with the imperious Regulus Black. Which one would she be bestowed with today - the generously nice, vulnerable and discreet, the mean and arrogant? Judging by the state of her luck that afternoon it would most likely be the latter. 

The walk through the common room should have been a quick escape, usually Ace could wriggle her way through without being noticed. But that evening her arrival had been awaited. Picking up her pace and ducking her chin deep into her chest, in order to hide from James, Ace slipped through the portrait hole, a breath of relief escaping as she thought her descend had been unnoticed. As always Ace was wrong - catching her by the wrist, James spun the girl to face him. 

The brooding frown shocked Ace back to reality. “Don’t start,” she begged, meeting his perpetual frown with a pleading grimace of her own. Where James would usually throw himself into a rant, he took shallow breath as if to register his thoughts before speaking them aloud. 

Shadows flickered along the darkened corridor glitching under the blaze of bronze torches, the odd shuffle from the portraits was the only sound that could be heard for ages. 

James’ expression was one of mulling disdain. “Remus was quite upset earlier,” he stated simply. 

Ace merely pressed her lips together in response, chewing mournfully on the fleshy inside of her bottom lip. It wasn’t like she’d wanted to upset him, hell, she hadn’t even meant what she’d said and certainly not in the way he thought. But that’s what happened, it was done now and Ace could do nothing to take back those words. 

“Me too.”

”He told me what happened, Ace. What you said wasn’t right.” The look of utter disappointment on her brother’s face was enough for Ace to feel the unstoppable surge of irritable rage. It was the same as the one that had came over her earlier and the same as the all the ones before that. Being overwhelmed had its effects on people, irritability being one of the most rueful to Ace. 

“He was trying to be a mate, why can’t you just let him be a mate?!” 

Tearing her wrist from his, Ace glared up at James. Through gritted teeth, she forced herself to speak, “because he’s not _my friend -_ he’s yours!” 

“You’ve got to stop thinking the whole worlds against you, Ace, ‘cause it’s not! Remus is your friend whether you like it - hell, whether I like it - or not. And its not fair on him, he’s been through enough. He deserves to have friends who want him.” 

Bubbles of guilt rose in Ace’s chest, popping respectively and dowsing the previous fire of rage. She wanted more than anything for Remus to be her friend. For them to be friends. 

“What about what I deserve?!”

James’ intense gaze softened, for a moment, Ace had the feeling he could read her mind. “You deserve to have friends too, Ace...” his tone was gentle, more so than she’d ever heard it before. Ace’s head barely moved as she shook it. Tears beading the back of her eyes and a hard lump welled in throat, grating as it urged its way to the surface. “Please, Ace... just let him in. You don’t need to push him away... he...” 

Clearing her throat with a sudden harshness that echoed through the empty corridor, Ace willed her eyes to meet James’. Straightening her back with a forced haughtiness, Ace swallowed the emotion that was building in her throat, “I’m going to be late for detention.” With that James was left alone in the corridor, staring at the space where Ace had stood, wishing he could say something... do something... to convince her that she deserved to be cared about. 

The door to Professor Vector’s classroom stood locked and empty. Dim light cascaded down the hall, illuminated by a three quarter moon that poured through the Lancet arched window. Heaving a solemn sigh, Ace perched herself on the window ledge. The view was a nice distraction at least; the steep sloping grounds, grass rustling in the evening wind, Hagrid’s hut perched on the edge of the Forbidden Forrest, who’s imposing trees masked a world of its own wonder. The night sky had poured in, encasing the world in an illusory of navy blue. Except for the few stray students embarking their way across the lawns and a smiling couple slinking their way from the forest edge, the grounds were deserted. Ace leered over the grounds, drinking in its beauty, allowing the events of her day to ebb away to the back of her mind. 

“Hullo.” 

Silent in his steps, Regulus had come to stand beside Ace. There was nothing she could do to mask the jolt of surprise, a gentle chuckle pushed its way from Regulus’ throat. “I apologise, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Ace offered a small nod of response, it was all she could manage, the vague awareness of his close proximity was enough to send her mind doolally.

“Didn’t think you’d come.” 

“Hmm?” Regulus hummed deeply, tearing his eyes from the horizon and settling them on Ace, “Vector’s a git, I don’t fancy spending any more time with him then I have too.” Ace cocked an eyebrow in question. An odd excuse for someone who had purposely landed themselves into punishment. The conversation didn’t venture much further, due to the lack of skills Ace possessed for socialisation and the arrival of Vector.

Professor Vector came striding down the hall over a quarter of an hour late, giving a vague explanation on how he’d forgotten their detention was scheduled. A simultaneous look of quelled irritation passed between the students. Perfect irony dwelled in Ace’s mind, she had been barely five minutes late to his class Tuesday morning and Vector had the cheek to arrive over fifteen minutes late without a hint of an apology. 

“Are we to just sit here then?” Regulus spoke the question on Ace’s mind. 

The pair were seated at adjacent desks facing Professor Vector’s head table, where he lounged obnoxiously, his feet propped on unmarked papers, arms resting behind his bald head. A bushy pair of eyebrows raised over a grumpy face, to which he replied a simple agreement. A rough sound of vexation erupted from Regulus, though nothing else followed. And so they sat, Regulus scowling at the Professor who ignored him, and Ace staring out of the window longing to be sat at the desk beside it. 

A loud groaning snore erupted from Professor Vector who had fell asleep. His maw wide as bits of spittle flew out with every snore. Regulus had since began a game of aim - throwing _Bertie Botts Every Flavoured Beans_ into the Professor’s gaping mouth. Ace stifled a snigger as the third bean in a row thwacked off Vector’s nose before flying aimlessly towards the floor. 

“What you laughing at, Potter? Reckon you could do better?” Regulus shot her a smirk of challenge, to which Ace rolled her eyes. “Scaredy cat,” he mused in songful jest. 

“Shut up.” 

Pushing himself silently from the desk, Regulus rose and for a moment Ace thought he was really going to ditch. She found herself asking where he was going, the words pouring with a briskness Ace scolded herself for. Regulus twitched his head in a slight shake, “no where... can’t have you taddling on me, can I?” Ace tutted at the accusation, knowing full well she wouldn’t have to taddle - his punctuality may be flawed, but Professor Vector’s eyes worked perfectly fine.

Regulus propped himself against the edge of the desk, lounging back onto his hands. “So, you and Lupin... you’re courting?” The words came in long drawls that had Ace’s skin nipping with anticipation. It was spoke like a question, but hinted at accusation. 

“Huh?” Thrown by the intrusive nature of his words, Ace took a long moment to process what was being asked. There was no way to fathom where Regulus had got such an idea, nor why it was any of his business. Regulus held a look of mild contemplation, raising his eyebrows as he waited patiently for a reply. “Why would you think that?” 

“Must have been the other Potter I saw skipping through Hogsmeade this morning then,” Regulus said with the previous teasing tone. A sarcastic snuff of laughter blew from Ace’s nose. The irony. A flood of memories she had tucked away came gushing back with vengeance. The familiar pang of guilt, tinged with resentment struck at Ace’s heartstrings, strumming a harmonious tune of sadness. 

“We definitely aren’t courting.” 

The statement was strung up on a fragile thread of bitter tension. A laugh that had an odd resemblance to an owl, erupted from Regulus, “I take it you’ve had a lovers tiff, eh?”

Another roll of the eyes, had Regulus chuckling. 

Professor Vector flinched at the sudden sound, fortunately his snores carried on. Regulus grinned cheekily and Ace found herself smiling too, even despite the welling feeling of worry. A blush had crept its way to Ace’s cheeks. “We’re just friends,” she murmured. “At least... we were...” the statement came in such a breathy tone, Ace didn’t think Regulus would have heard. Judging by the swift raise of his eyebrows and the menacing smirk, Ace knew she wasn’t as quiet as she had thought. 

She would have laughed under a different circumstance, Regulus looked utterly chuffed at her admission. “Well, go on... spill the details!” 

“Why do you wanna know?”

”We’re here for another hour, Potter. Why not get to know one another, eh?” 

He held a solid point and quite frankly Ace was ready to get it off her chest. So, she did. The story flew so rapidly, she wasn’t certain if it even made sense. But Regulus listened. Hanging onto every word, like it actually meant something. With a deep breath, Ace came to the end of her tale, finishing with what James had said just before detention. A soft burrow had formed between Regulus’ eyebrows, his forehead creased with deep lines. His fine features drew in with a soft frown as he resisted a laugh. 

“If you’re just going to laugh, then why did you even ask?” A sharp snap of haughtiness flew through the words. 

“I’m not laughing at you, just... I think Lupin has a crush and he’s obviously went the wrong way about it,” Regulus replied with honest sincerity. “I mean if you don’t feel the same, just say so.” He shrugged with nonchalant ease. “Lupin’s a nerd anyway, you’re probably better off without to be honest.” 

Striking out with a childish kick, Ace laughed at his bluntness. “He is not a nerd!” 

“Ooo, you like him!” Their back and forth demeanour had them both laughing. 

Night had set in completely dowsing the classroom in a deep navy, lit only by bronze lamps blazing on each desk. An orange glow had set over Regulus’ features, casting him in a shadow that accentuated his best angles. It was quite cosy, being just the two of them (minus Professor Vector, whose snores provided an ominous soundtrack to their conversation) and Ace was no stranger to the butterflies in her stomach. Even if they were usually reserved for moments with Remus.

“Shut up, I do not.” Ace struck out with her foot. 

“Stop telling me to shut up!” Regulus struck back, throwing his leg out of her reach. “Anyway, I shouldn’t be the one you’re kicking. Clearly, Lupin’s confused you.” The same wisecracking wit was meant, but Ace didn’t take it as so. A frown settled over her as did the realisation of how pathetic she must look to Regulus. Regulus, who was popular, funny and witty, who probably had no issue in figuring out his crushes. They were too different and Ace was beginning to see that... and as she did, she realised that sharing wasn’t for the best. 

“I’m joking,” he said softly, “you need to stop taking everything so personal,” Regulus informed her lightly. There was nothing light to what Ace was feeling. A cloud of weighted darkness had settled over her once again. The same cloud that rested so heavily at any other time, the same one that Regulus had managed to lift so easily. “For Merlin’s sake, I’ll personally teach you to have a back bone if it means you’ll take a joke.” 

“You were being nosy - I indulged your interest - don’t make fun of me when I do.” The firmness was one Ace could barely muster. 

“I’m not making fun -“ Ace didn’t look convinced, “- honest,” Regulus assured her, throwing his hands as an offer of honesty. “Come tomorrow, you and Lupin will be all made up. No need to fret, friends always fall out - hell, I must fall out with Evan and Wilksey seven times a day.” The way he spoke with nonchalant ease, it was almost obnoxious. But Ace couldn’t resist the feeling of admiration. Here was Regulus Black, who was always so hard to figure out, putting Ace at ease. Reassuring her about doubts even she didn’t understand. Above all, he was sincere in his words. 

“Yeah... you’re probably right... sorry.” The dim light had a marvellous effect at masking Ace’s blush. 

Regulus laughed softly, eyeing the sleeping Professor as he did. “Please, you have nothing to apologise for.” 

The pair must have been sat for over an hour, whilst Professor Vector snored away, until he woke with a sudden start. First scolding them for not waking him, before sending them away with a vicious word of warning about misbehaving in his class again. A brisk chill had wound its way through the castle, a shiver ran over Ace. She was certainly ready for bed, but an odd tugging in her stomach had her wishing she was back in detention again. 

“Let me walk you to your common room, it’s late.” For a moment Ace was taken aback by the offer and she did nothing, but blink at the boy before her. Regulus cracked a stunning smile, “my mother always says that it’s in a gentleman’s best interest to escort a lady to her destination.” He spoke as if mocking an old tradition, but his eyes sung of a value he truly believed in. 

“And that would make you a gentleman, would it?” Ace cocked a mischievous smirk. 

“It certainly would, Potter.”


	9. Feel Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter from Reggie’s p.o.v 
> 
> Tw: implications of child abuse

_Friday 15th October, 1975_

He wasn’t certain when the infatuation began. It came in sprinkles at first; sly looks when they sat beside one another, lingering stares in the classroom, with a dying hope to see her smile. Since they’d shared a detention together one Saturday evening, Ace Potter had begun living rent free in Regulus’ imagination.

He supposed the interest began brewing before then. She had surprised him that afternoon on the Hogwarts Express, it took a level of boldness for her to enter that compartment where he was brooding. Boldness he admired and one he wished to possess.

Regulus had every intention of never indulging himself with the girl again, but it seemed the universe had other ideas. Their paths were thrown together constantly, Regulus was beginning to think it wasn’t a coincidence. Each time they were thrust upon one another his interest would grow. He knew the risk to involve himself with a blood traitor and it was a risk he was willing to avoid. Ace Potter didn’t deserve to have the toxicity of his life bestowed upon her and so he sat back, admiring from afar. 

It was a Friday afternoon when his breath was taken away. 

The urge to avoid his friends was one Regulus had become accustom too since the start of term. Where he would usually accommodate their obnoxious and prejudice banter, even being agreeable, Regulus had found his fuse burning short. And he found himself slinking out of their company more often. 

Since Sirius had left that previous summer, Regulus couldn’t settle the feeling of wanting to run. Run from his parents’ heavy hand and their insane pressures to be the perfect Black heir, since the first had run off. He wanted to run from a brewing war, certain he would be forced to fight for the wrong side. Regulus wanted to run and hide and never look back at the life he hated. But he couldn’t. There was no escaping his parents and their iron grip, stronger now Sirius was a write-off. Their pressures were mounting by the week and Regulus was close to buckling under the weight. 

He didn’t know how long he could be perfect for. It was exhausting being the son they so desperately wanted - needed. There were days Regulus felt too drained to live. Why he had once wished for the pressure, he didn’t know. Growing up, Regulus had his fair share of short falls. Never amounting to the son Orion Black expected him to be. A sickly child was their first hint at Regulus’ short comings; common ailments did not affect the Black family, but they had affected Regulus. Once in childhood, Regulus seemed to outgrow his susceptibility for colds, but something else held him back. 

An impediment of speech. It grew worse when in the presence of his father. Fear, stress, perhaps. Orion was an imposing figure and had never held back on the physical forms of punishment. Despite not having much involvement with child rearing, he enjoyed checking in, ensuring they were amounting to everything they should be. And if they weren’t - well, that was a problem his wand would fix. 

By seven, Regulus had learned to read and speak cohesively. Many tedious hours between him and Andromeda - she was always so patient with him, until she left. He overcame the stammer, slowly. By the time he did, Orion had already labelled his youngest son an invalid. Relinquishing any previous hope he had for him. Yet, Regulus tried. He tried impossibly hard to make his father proud and be the perfect Black son. It seemed being a second born, invalid, was easy, compared to being the heir. Regulus had no idea back then - what perks were permitted to a second son, nor the true pressures his brother faced. He was always the better of the two. Well put together, articulate, even though Sirius preferred mischief. Walburga would work past that with her own special punishments. 

Why Regulus had ever been jealous of the older boy, he didn’t know. 

Nowadays, the pressure was second nature. Regulus fit the mould, when he had too. With his friends he would take the banter and throw it back, he would laugh, like he needed too, agree when he had too, but he would never mean it. With the family he would attend the family gatherings, accepting the respect his name demanded. He would agree - tenfold - if he had too. Hold the family values high, express them dutifully and accept his place. Yet, Regulus still yearned to escape. Sometimes, he would. 

Slinking off to party with Hufflepuffs, or hangout with girls that his parents would never approve of. Regulus did everything he could to feel like he was escaping that part of his life, even for a moment. He did everything he could to feel something again. 

And so it was on that Friday afternoon when his breath was taken away. Potions class had come to an end with exciting news of a looming project. Where a groan would have been due, Regulus felt strangely elated, the project was one to be completed as partners. Apparently, the seating plan given at the beginning of term was not thrown together from nothing, Professor Slughorn intended those sitting together to be project partners. And so Regulus and Ace would be spending a lot more time together in the coming weeks. 

As class drew to an end, Regulus slipped away from his friends the first chance he got, following a route that was becoming all too familiar to him. Welcoming in its nature, the library shed a warmth the Slytherin common room couldn’t possess. High arched windows shed the light of a midday sun, engulfing the room in a flickering warmth. Soft furnished chairs lined against mahogany desks, set with bronze oil lamps, basking a shadow on the faces of concentrating Hogwarts pupils. In the light of one window, Ace Potter sat hunched over an essay as she meticulously measured the length of the parchment. 

A smirk twitched at the corners of Regulus’ mouth, she was always so scrupulous in everything. He’d noticed that much since sharing a desk in potions and watching her in the library. About to turn back to his own work - a landscape drawing of the Black Lake - Regulus noticed the light shift from behind Ace. A ray of sunlight trapped in the curls of her hair, the honey blonde braids encircling her head lit up, like she’d been blessed with an Angel’s halo. 

It was like someone had took an iron bar and thrust it across Regulus’ stomach snatching all the air from his lungs. A piece of hair had snuck its way from the braids, rippling over Ace’s eyes. A soft hand swatted it away, the relentless curl kept coming and Ace kept swiping and Regulus only watched, bewitched by her movements. The light bathed her in such a beautiful way, like she had been touched by the ancient King Midas and turned to gold. She was remarkable in such a conventional way; rounding eyes the colour of fresh ground coffee, deep set and lifted with a blossoming smile, dishevelled bangs hung over them the colour of soft amber. He liked the way she tried to tame her hair and how it would never comply - always bursting at the seams with threads of golden blonde and russet brown. 

The half finished drawing of the Black Lake was flicked over, revealing a page of yellowing parchment, hit by an idea that he couldn’t possibly resist, Regulus began to draw. Sketching and looking - sketching and looking - and then ripping, ripping the pages from the book in a soft rage. He couldn’t get it right. He couldn’t capture the way the light hit her hair or how it ignited the colour of her light tawny skin. Nor could he get the softness of her jawline as it curved into an ever so slightly pointed chin. There was no perfecting the lines of Ace’s face. Nothing he drew did her any justice. But draw he did. And he wouldn’t stop until he captured her just right. 

_Friday 22nd October, 1975_

A week on and what felt like a thousand wasted pages, Regulus needed a break. Watching from afar was beginning to take it’s toll and to be perfectly honest, he was beginning to feel pathetic and a little like a creep. He couldn’t bring himself to walk over to her, sit down and spark a conversation. What would he even say? 

_‘Hello, I’ve been watching you all week, mind if you stopped moving, so I can finish my drawing?’_

How weird would that sound. Even if it was true, he couldn’t do it. It’s not like he wasn’t ever going to tell Ace about the drawings; it was just a bit useless to do until he’d drew it perfectly. Perfection seemed a long way off, as Ace never sat still long enough for Regulus to capture her angles just right. So, he’d given up for the moment, seeking out a new method of relaxation. It would be good to give himself some room to breath because the infatuation wasn’t going away and if he wasn’t going to give up and speak to her, then he couldn’t well sit and watch her forever. 

With his broom hooked over a shoulder, Regulus trudged through the sluggish grounds of the Quidditch Pitch. The October showers had done a fantastic job of turning the grounds to a clumping swamp of mud and dirt. It didn’t phase Regulus, in his dragon hide Quidditch boots and flowing robes of emerald green, he was just grateful the rain had held off, so he could get some flying in. There wasn’t much that cleared his mind so unreservedly than flying; other than his art, but even that had it’s way of befuddling his mind with unsavoury thoughts. 

He wasted no time in mounting, taking off with flawless speed. It was exhilarating, the wind whipping around him, prickling his skin until his cheeks were raw with a redness that burned to the touch. A couple of laps and his mind was already at ease. Another fortnight and he’d be back on the pitch properly, winning the Quidditch matches for Slytherin. Hearing the roars of the crowd as he caught the snitch. Regulus was glad to feel excitement over something, the feeling was a stranger to him these days. 

A flicker of blue shimmered in the corner of Regulus’ eye, drawing him from his thoughts. The reason he’d escaped to the pitch was sitting in the stands. Why wasn’t she in the library? That’s where she hid every other night of the week. And why hadn’t he noticed her earlier? 

Sitting in the front row indulged in an open book and surrounded by small jars filled with electric blue flames, was Ace Potter. She was blissfully oblivious to Regulus’ presence, for a moment, Regulus contemplated keeping it that way. But with his mind clear of all its previous worries; he couldn’t think of a reason to hold back; so he leaned forward, the broom reacting beautifully to his movements and he flew to the stands where she sat hovering inches from the wooden barrier. 

“Bit cold to be out here, isn’t it?” 

A usual jolt of shock rattled Ace’s body, her head snapping up to meet Regulus’ penetrating gaze. For a moment, she only blinked in response. There they were. Those soulful brown eyes - graced with a million hues, welcoming Regulus into a world of autumn leaves and the earth after torrential rains - the look was for only a moment, but for Regulus it expanded into an eternity. He found himself wishing for just that; an eternity of Ace’s eyes. 

“There’s only so much time you can spend in the library.” The phrase was a simple one and she passed it so quickly, Regulus imagined it was a planned response. A flick of the eyebrow told Ace just that. “I’m avoiding Remus,” she admitted quietly, so quietly the wind almost snatched the words away. The curve of a grin teased Regulus’ lips. 

“Can’t say I blame you.”

Barely half a metre and a barrier was between them now, Regulus resting his elbow on the fencing, an attempt to tame his restless broom. Marking her book, Ace closed it with a small snap, striking Regulus with a contemplative look. “Do you ride much, then?”

A smile broke Ace’s features. There was nothing Regulus enjoyed more than making Ace smile; it never took much, a fleeting joke about the edibleness of frogs eyes, a nonchalant muse about how Professor Slughorn conditioned his moustache. He loved how even when the smile was gone, her eyes sang of mirth and light - embedded with flecks of deep bronze, only ever highlighted with the suns touch. The life of her was contagious and Regulus relished in it. 

Lifted with a breeze the curls of Ace’s hair whipped as she shook her head. “Heights and me don’t mix.” Regulus arched his eyebrows in accordance. “Bit cold for flying, isn’t it?”

For a moment, Regulus was taken aback, Ace never usually carried the conversation. That task fell to him, not that he minded, it was something he could do well. He’d been taught how to do so his entire life. A man must indulge in the art of conversation, lighthearted with the ladies and politics with the gentlemen. Though, Regulus never stuck to those strict rules when it came to speaking with Ace; or anyone for that matter, if he could avoid it and Regulus wanted nothing more than to avoid politics. Their conversation’s were limited to the potions classroom, but he never missed an opportunity to try and make her laugh. 

Regulus shimmied his shoulders dramatically. “Perfect weather.” His tone light and breathy with excitement and underlying pride at his own bravery. Finally, he’d spoke to her without a cauldron between them. If it was wrong, he didn’t think so in that moment. “Fancy it then?”

Ace looked at him with a softness he wasn’t familiar with, but knew it was her way of view. “Fancy what?” 

An outstretched hand and an open palm of invitation was all Regulus gave as a response.

“Absolutely not!” A melodious laugh erupted. The sound was one that brightened the world around them; it was like a veil had been yanked from Regulus’ eyes and he could see the world in refined colour.

“What? Don’t you trust me?” Regulus’ grin curled into one of taunting resignation. 

“No!” 

And then Ace did something that shocked the both of them - she took his hand. With an ease that Regulus didn’t brace himself for, Ace was mounted before him on the broom. She was a slight girl, but the lightness of her was astounding - if not vaguely worrying. There was no time for the thoughts to mount, as the thrumming in Regulus’ stomach was tightening with every second. 

The scent of her engulfed him - coconut and lotus flower - it was constraining.

“Two hands now, yeah?” Tentatively, Regulus wound his arms over Ace’s waist, gripping the broom handle. Her own hands were above his, knuckles pasty with a tight grip. “Sit tight, Potter.” The rumble of his chuckle, vibrated through Ace’s chest, she would have smiled if it wasn’t for the fear creeping in her throat.

They were surged forward with a jolt of speed Regulus hadn’t intended. A yelp of surprise was lost in the wind, Ace had surged back - their bodies pressed as one - as if on instinct, Regulus caught her round the waist. One hand on the broom, the other slung over Ace’s stomach, fingertips pressed with tenderness. The suede touch of Ace’s fingers twining over his, had blood rushing to Regulus’ cheeks. 

“Open your eyes, the view’s beautiful.”

For a moment, Regulus didn’t know whether he was discussing the landscape or the view he was feasting on. The gasp of delight pushed from Ace’s chest was like music to him. They were far from the Quidditch Pitch now, circling the rolling hills and stretches of sage green fields. The castle grounds really did seep far and wide, caressing every inch with an indescribable beauty. For half an hour they flew, ducking between hills, sweeping through the high swashes of Pennisetum grass, grazing the surface of the Black Lake. Their laughter lost in the wind, their overzealous speed unmatched by birds of prey, until the chill of the wind crept into their bones, welding them to the brooms handle; the pair set down in the Quidditch stands, where Ace’s book bag had been abandoned.

The wind picked up as they crossed the lawns; each wave stronger than the last, flattening grass in its wake, lifting cloaks and wafting hairs. It was passionate and wild, tearing up the entrance hall, stinging the skins of two wizards who were trudging their way up towards the castle. They worked hard against the winds chaotic surge, their words barely audible above its scream. Neither seemed to mind as their robes circled their ankles or the stinging of their cheeks and noses. It’s boldness brought wakefulness as the cold roused their bodies, serving as a reminder that the moment they shared was real and would live on with the wind. Even Ace, who hated all things cold; loved the wind in that moment. She loved the rueful passion as it charged onwards leaving destruction in it’s wake, driving its own path. Their shoulders brushed as they took the steps two at a time, laughing and grinning all the way. 

“Y’know, you aren’t that bad, Potter,” Regulus admitted once they had escaped the passionate storm. Ace’s smile came easily and laughter followed as she agreed that Regulus wasn’t that bad either. Not at all. 

*

_Saturday 23rd October, 1975_

Whenever Ace Potter was in need of a hideout, the library would obey and a hideout was exactly what Ace needed these days. Since the misunderstanding with Remus, the pair had reduced themselves to awkward encounters that lasted no more than a second, or blissful ignorance of the others existence.

It was becoming a chore by the end of the first week and Ace wouldn’t be lying if she said she’d hated every moment of it. In truth, she missed Remus. She missed their morning meetings, she missed their evening reads and she even missed the other Marauders with their obnoxious jokes and loud mouths. But, her stubbornness was one to be rivalled with and Remus was doing pretty well so far. If it hadn’t been for the libraries newest addition, Ace would have cracked long ago, seeking out Remus and apologising for whatever had gone down and every moment afterwards; but she didn’t. Instead, she remained in the back corner of the library, tucked under a window watching the adjacent desk every so often. 

Regulus had been there almost every evening and Ace relished in it. Though they never spoke, never even made eye contact, Ace liked that he was there. She enjoyed watching from her hidden spot as he sat scribbling away. He was always alone, an occurrence that wasn’t so unusual these days.

Yet, today was different to those other days; since Ace and Regulus had spoke, they’d done more than that even. He’d took her on an exhilarating broom ride over the grounds. That entire afternoon had been bore of spontaneous coincidence; after noticing the impromptu arrival of Remus Lupin, Ace had slipped from the library, remembering the words her Mother had ingrained in her from a young age. _Fresh air makes for a fresh mind._ So, Ace had found herself in the Quidditch stands, cooped over a book whose pages furled in the brisk wind. 

Barely twenty four hours later, the event was still circling Ace’s mind nonstop. She could still feel his hands on her waist, she could still hear the comforting murmur of his voice, like it was trapped in the curls of her hair. She could still smell his woody cologne and taste the icy wind on her lips. It was certainly an experience to remember. And one that kept her circling back to the library; when Ace would usually spend no more than three nights a week there, she began spending every evening. 

Regulus was there again, the evening after their broom ride. He hadn’t came over, which Ace had expected, but hoped to be wrong. He’d been different since their detention. She liked the Regulus he became when he was with her; he laughed easily and in turn had her laughing, even when the joke he cracked wasn’t so funny. There was something about him that kept drawing Ace in and the feeling was only growing. 

A presence beside Ace’s table drew her from the well her thoughts had been tumbling down. Lily Evans stood with her hip pressed against the edge of the table, emitting a gesture of nonchalance. “Don’t make it obvious, but I think that boy is drawing you -” Lily murmured quietly, an eyebrow popping in the direction of said boy. For a moment, Ace couldn’t register Lily’s words; a part of her mind was still wrapped up in its prior thoughts, taking a moment to fall back into reality. 

“What?” Ace deadpanned, once her brain had finally caught up. 

“3’o clock,” Lily said, with another discreet cock of the eyebrow. “I said don’t make it obvious!” She hissed as Ace made her staring very plain. A smile tugged at the corners of Ace’s lips. The boy sat at 3 o’clock was the same one she had just been thinking about. A silence pressed over the girls, Lily watching with an air of concern. “Do you know him?” 

Ace couldn’t answer the question; her gaze had been meet by a set of icy grey eyes, that were wide with the shock of being caught red handed. “Who is he? He’s cute,” Lily went on, a smirk of satisfaction playing over her puffy lips. Ace shook her head slightly, afraid to speak in case her tone gave the happiness away. 

A deep breath ensured the steadiness of her voice, “he’s in my potions class,” Ace whispered finally, glancing up at Lily and away from Regulus. The expression on Lily’s face was one that could only be described as giddy excitement. At the sight of her, Ace couldn’t resist the smile that had been hovering beneath the surface. 

“He’s been glancing at you for the last half an hour,” Lily told her and Ace’s smile widened.

“Oh my god - he’s coming,” Ace whispered in a rushed sort of manner. Every ounce of oxygen had been kicked from Ace’s stomach and suddenly her thoughts were incoherent screams. The hairs on her arms tickled with goosebumps and her legs turned to jelly. “What do I do?” She gasped with a pleading stare towards Lily, who gave a quick quip of advice before turning towards the nearest bookshelf where she remained when Regulus arrived at Ace’s table.


	10. All Yellow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> P.O.V’s jump from Reggie, to Ace, to Remus, briefly to Sirius and then back to Ace. I’m not sure why, but it is what it is.

_Saturday 23rd October 1975_

For a fortnight Regulus had watched Ace in the library, for a fortnight he had resisted the urge to go and speak to her. For a fortnight, he had provided himself with excuses of why it was a bad idea. Sitting there across the table from Ace, those thoughts ceased to exist; there was no possible reason that this was wrong because it felt so right. Even if he was beet red with embarrassment, Regulus didn’t care. 

“Let me see then,” she said with that easy smile. An instinctive hand lay across the sketchbook, palm pressing hard on the canvas cover. “Oh, come on - they are drawings of me.” Regulus drew a tooth across the fleshy inward of his bottom lip, cracking a small and embarrassed grin, before finally agreeing. 

“Fine - but they aren’t finished yet... I _was_ going to show you, by the way. I’m not some creep who just draws people without their knowledge.” The words poured forth and Regulus could do nothing to stop as he stumbled over them. And there was that easy laugh, the one that never ceased to bring light to Regulus’ heart. 

He opened the sketchbook and for a moment he felt as if his heart was on display. Those drawings that had taken up so much space in his heart and drained his mind of any other thoughts were open to the world and open to Ace. Was it possible she could decipher his feelings through those images? Regulus didn’t know, but he thought it was obvious. 

Carefully, Ace brushed her fingers over the edges of the pages, barely touching them as she turned and looked. Light filled her eyes as she poured over the images, compelled by their beauty.

“I - er started last week... you know when you get an idea in your head and it won’t go away until you’ve done it?” 

For a long moment Ace met his eyes and she slowly shook her head, “I’m not an artist.” 

Regulus chuckled lightly, shaking his head now. “Well, how do you pick a colour for your nails?” Regulus nodded to Ace’s nails, they were a deep shade of burgundy today, like red wine. “You get an idea and can’t stop until its happened.” Their eyes met once again, for a second they sat smiling. The type of smiles that were stupidly happy, all teeth and mirth. 

“I really, really like these - especially this one,” Ace complimented, sliding half a sheet of torn paper across the table. It was one of the first attempts Regulus had made and one of the only ones he was pleased about. The sketch had been going well until he’d tried adding sunflowers to the back ground and then a petal had went squiggly and his rage got this best of him, tearing the sheet halfway through the flowers. Sliding the sheet back across the desk, Regulus murmured that Ace should keep it.

For a while they chatted, laughing at Regulus’ silly jokes, looking at comic books over the table; they were shocked to find, they each had much more in common then they were previously inclined to believe. Regulus even allowed Ace a glance through his other sketches. 

As he watched Ace pour adoringly over the landscapes, Regulus slouched back in his chair his fingertips brushing his fringe from his forehead. “You know, I wanted to come over for a while, I just didn’t have the courage... don’t know what I was scared of now...” Flicking a glance up at him, Ace resisted the smile that was daring to break through. Hastily, she cleared her throat, afraid her voice would give way to the excitement bubbling beneath. 

Moistening her lip with a flick of her tongue, Ace drew the sketchbook closed, asserting all her attention onto Regulus. “How come?” The words came out quieter than intended. “We talk all the time in potions.” Regulus shrugged.

But an understanding had passed between the pair; in class a third party had brought the pair together, their conversations could be excused as polite small talk, but there in the library, it was a conscious choice. And only they could be blamed for what happened when their choices were made; whether they were to go bottoms up or as flawless as they hoped. 

Nevertheless, the risk had been taken and neither felt guilty for it. The world had settled ceaselessly around them, like the whole castle had been put to a peaceful sleep. It was the sort of feeling that sent tingles running up your arms and butterflies thrumming through the pit of your stomach, all the while a smile stained the faces of those involved. 

“You know, we’ve been talking for well over an hour now, I’ve given you glimpse into my life...” Regulus nodded briskly towards the sketchbook, still laid on the table, “what about yours? I feel like I know nothing about you.”

The library bustled around them, students studying in their bubbles of quiet, perfectly ignorant to the friendship that was blooming. The pair sat tucked in the back, hidden from the main study site, seemingly oblivious to the world turning around them. 

“There’s nothing much to know.” 

Regulus hummed in musing affection, not at all convinced by Ace’s statement. He knew only from observation that there was plenty to know about Ace Potter and he for one wanted to know everything. “I beg to differ,” he murmured. “Amuse me, Potter, tell me something about yourself.” A smirk curved at his lips. Ace shrugged. 

“Ask me anything, I’m an open book,” she teased.

Ace had heard of people speaking of Regulus’ eyes before, passing comments on their prominent colour - how they were shockingly blue. Hung with the beauty of a tempest in all it’s glory. She shared their views, even more so since the afternoon on the Hogwarts Express, since then she’d seen them up close a handful of times and they never ceased to have her mesmerised.

But now, sitting across from the table as night drew in, the library’s ominous light dimmed around them; no pressures of class work holding them at bay, only a free evening sprawling before them; Ace found something remarkable about Regulus’ eyes. He was handsome in all aspects, from the angular curve of his cheekbones, to the grace he managed to embody. Though, the infatuation with his eyes had nothing to do with shade; only then did Ace realise she enjoyed the honesty. Simultaneously intense and gentle, like the boy really cared for anything she had to say. 

“What’s your favourite colour?” The question was one Ace hadn’t expected. He could have asked her anything and looking in his eyes, she’d have spilled the world to him. It threw her off guard, but had her laughing at the simplicity. 

“Mmm, too personal - different question.” 

His head rolled back into an easy laugh, light as air and full of life. Something Regulus hadn’t felt for a while. “Really, though... what is it?”

”Yellow.”

The admittance was soft, her smile holding. Regulus found himself thinking that yellow was obvious. Ace looked like a yellow person; they were the sort of people who’s eyes smiled first, crinkling at the edges and then drawing up to reveal a toothy grin. She could be seen wearing bright colours and pants hand embroidered with daisies and stars, tights striped with the colours of the rainbow, like she so desperately wanted colour in her life, but failed to find it else where.

“What’s yours?” 

“Guess.” 

In truth, Regulus didn’t have a favourite colour.

He could never settle on one; green was to cliche, red was too Gryffindor, pink was too girly and purple reminded him of his Mother. Regulus couldn’t find a colour he loved enough to call his favourite, until Ace burst ‘ _Orange_ ’ like her life depended on it. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her she was wrong, so he nodded graciously, agreeing that orange was his favourite. 

And he knew it was then; he knew he’d never see orange the same. He would see the smile he would never tire of. And those teeth, ridiculously straight, bigger than average, but perfect to look at. The dimple that had a tendency to pop just to the left of her cheek. He’d see her eyes, warm and inviting, like a fire hearth in winter. Regulus would see Ace in orange - all golden and full of life, brimming with a gleaming light. And he wanted it. Never to take, but to watch and wish he could be that way, so easily pleased. 

*

The dormitory door slammed with a harshness that was unusual for Remus Lupin. Stalking into the room, he took a firm seat on his bed, chest heaving and mind whirring with what he had just witnessed. Sirius managed a lazy glance in Remus’ direction, unfazed by the dramatic entrance. Peter, however, was positively wide eyed with shock; the behaviour could be excused from Sirius, but Remus; he was almost always calm and collected. Unless he was reeling in a pit of self deprecation which could have been the reason for his dramatics. Peter supposed it wasn’t so far fetched, especially since his tiff with Ace a week prior, Remus had barely cracked a genuine smile. 

“Why the solemn face, Rem?” Sirius drawled, raising his chin so slowly it was as if a weight was pulling gradually at the back of his head. 

For a moment, Remus sat brooding, head bowed in misery. With a tut Sirius returned to the textbook he was reading, certain that its contents would be more interesting than whatever Remus was sad about now. There was only so many times you could tell a friend that one tiff wasn’t the end of the world. Sirius knew he should be more compassionate, but he also knew that wasn’t where his strengths lay; he was forward, straight to the point, there and ready to give Remus a slap when he began to slip because Sirius knew what it was like to slip.

The sound of the bathroom door, had James returning, wafting a Quidditch magazine in his wake and a ridiculous grin of pride plastered over his face, a sure sign that no one should enter there for a while. If they respected their nasal senses anyway.

“I have just bore witness to something sadistic.” The words echoed around the room, the sincerity of them was enough to shock Sirius from his dozy wake. A look passed between James, Sirius and Peter, one that told the others they hadn’t any idea what Remus could have bore witness too. “ _You’re sister -“_ Remus said in an accusatory tone, pointing at James, who’s eyes widened in response. 

“What’s she done now?” 

Ignoring him, Remus had turned to Sirius, sporting the same accusatory tone, “y _ou’re brother!”_ The words were strangled gasps by now and with good reason. The admission certainly woke all three boys, for their attentions were as straight as their spines. Remus had paled now, his scars stood out considerably when a lack of expression graced his features. 

“I’m sorry, my what?” Sirius asked incredulously. The subject of Regulus Black was a rare and tender one among the Marauders. In truth, Sirius had only really discussed their complicated relationship with James and even then he couldn’t find the words to describe his feelings for the boy. Instead he allowed resentment to run wild and ignored Regulus any other time. It was the only way Sirius could find to live with the guilt. Ignoring him, Remus darted his eyes over the boys, his mouth moving as invisible words were formed.

“Spit it out, Remus!” 

In time Remus calmed his nerves enough to speak cognitively, “well... I was doing what you guys said, you know... making amends and such... even if she does deserve better, she at least deserves an explanation, y’know-“ 

“Leave the self deprecation ‘til the end and get to the point!” Sirius snapped, tension rising. 

“Right - yeah -“ Remus went on, ignoring a look of pity from James, “well, I went to the library, she’s always there. And you know what I saw?” For a moment Remus paused, looking over his friends - who were poised on the edge of their seats in anxious awaiting, a harsh nod to go on from James was all he needed. “Ace and Regulus looking all chummy at a table together. Laughing. And- and- talking! And- well, god knows what else because I ran off, came straight here, didn’t I!” 

“Blimey, talking!” Peter mocked loudly, only to quickly dwindle into silence as James glared at him. 

“I feel sick,” Sirius decided, looking positively pale. In the moment, he couldn’t think of anything worse than Ace and his brother getting to know one another. It was something that had never even occurred to him. They were in the same year group, but Sirius had never correlated them together; they were too different. For one, their houses kept them at an arms length. And if Sirius had it his way, Regulus would never be in a mile of Ace.

Since meeting her almost five years ago, Sirius had felt a love that could only be reserved for a sibling. A wedge had been forced between the Black brothers the moment Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor. An utter disgrace for a member of the Noble house of Black. Over five hundred years of Slytherin’s broken by him. And then to befriend blood traitors and mud bloods; associate with them so publicly too; it was the cherry on top after the families previous disgrace when cousin, Andromeda, ran off to marry a muggle born. 

Returning home for that first Christmas had been worse than Sirius could have imagined. Walburga Black had a whole new vehemence towards her eldest son; who had disgraced the house of Black once again. Sirius had no way of escaping the wrath that came all too often and without warning. Any _love_ that Walburga Black had within her was then reserved for the youngest of the Black brothers. Sure to be less of a disgrace than the eldest. Wanting to assure no corruption could be made, the pair were separated for the summer. Banned from any form of communication; other than the banquets they were to attend, then the Black family would keep up their appearance of perfection. Regulus, who had never been one for disobedience, followed his Mother’s rules like the world balanced on them. Back then, the world really did. 

Sirius had never felt loneliness like he had the first Christmas away from Hogwarts. When an invite arrived to spend the last week of the holidays at James’ house; Sirius could think of no way to refuse. And was shocked again when Walburga allowed his dismissal. Arriving at the Potter’s farm house will forever be the fondest memory Sirius would hold. Their way of living was laid back and free, no pressures of being an heir to a house you hated, no formal gatherings of blood supremacists; just love and laughter and _fun._

Meeting James’ sweet little sister pulled everything into perspective for Sirius. _That_ was how siblings should be. No pressure to be better than the other, no need to save them from a beating when they cried. In a week, the girl had taken up a space that had once been reserved for Regulus. Sirius had never looked back; his brother had written him off alongside his parents. 

“Me too,” James admitted, his face curling in disgust. “Are you positive that’s what you saw, Remus?”

Remus only nodded fervently. As always, James took to the lead; first with a swift pace through the dorm, speaking his thoughts aloud for his friends to hear. His hands twisted over one another, darting to and fro from his jet black hair. As much as James convinced himself that Ace was a nuisance in his life, he couldn’t quite jump the hurdle of sibling protection. 

He’d had his fair share of bad experiences with Slytherin’s; of course the sadistic streak didn’t grace the entire house, but Regulus Black was known to associate with a group of fifth and sixth years who were sure to be well inclined with the Blood Purity movement once they left Hogwarts. And James couldn’t imagine a reason why Regulus Black would be chatting with his sister. But he had an awful feeling about it. 

“Right, we’re just going to have to find her and ask her, aren’t we?”

The announcement came barely five minutes after Remus’ outburst and his friends did nothing, but agree. It was the only logical explanation. And so, they followed James from the dormitory and down to the common room. Thankfully, their search wasn’t a long one, as Ace was already settled in a window seat, a book that she didn’t seem to be reading was laid open across her knew. She gazed from the window, eyes catching the stars as they shone, ears preened to the wireless radio and its careful tunes. 

The four swarmed her, their presence alone was enough to shatter the peace. A simultaneous look of accusation was drawn over each of their features, feasting on the sight of them, Ace couldn’t help but laugh. In any other headspace she may have felt worried, but nothing, not even her brother and his friends could ruin her good mood. 

“Can I help you?” 

A dramatic scoff emitted from James, glancing at his friends with an incredulous look asking if they too could believe Ace’s cheek. “We want to know where you’ve been all evening.” 

“And don’t try lying because we know exactly where you’ve been,” Sirius interjected with rash indignation.

Ace flicked a discreet eyebrow, eyeing Remus, who looked oddly suspicious in the dim light of the common room. If it wasn’t for her incredible mood, Ace’s heart would have plummeted the moment James opened his mouth. Instead, she felt elated at the thought. After all, she’d done nothing wrong. 

“Well, if you know then why are you asking?” Fluttering her eyes in a motion of feign innocence, Ace couldn’t resist another laugh at the incredulous expressions of the boys. She wasn’t shocked at their reactions, of course, out of everyone James and his friends certainly hated Slytherins. Especially those who had anything to do with Severus Snape; who Regulus was perfectly acquainted with. Not to mention Sirius’ estranged relationship with Regulus, that was bound to add some strain to their reactions. 

“Remus saw you, Ace - you and Regulus looking all chummy.” Sirius exploded, throwing his hands to gesticulate the rage that was brewing within. Ace only shrugged, charging an influx of angry responses from the boys. “Explain yourself!” 

“Well, Remus has already explained it for me, haven’t you Remus?” Ace said with calm clarity, addressing Remus for the first time in almost a week. He shifted guiltily under Ace’s penetrating gaze, unsure of how to respond, until Ace cracked a witty smile. The sort of smile that held no malice, only tantalising jest; one Remus did not find amusing. 

“Do you fancy him or something?” Remus snapped with a sudden flare of rage. Under that sort of tone, Ace would be inclined to flinch or even tear up; but there was no feeling of embarrassment or upset, it only seemed to fuel her good mood. The smile was gone, but the corners of her mouth tested with an indication of mirth. 

A look of suspicion passed over the boys, before Sirius burst forth, “you can’t just go around fancying people’s brothers, Ace!” 

The common room buzzed on around them, the fire crackling, pupils studying, friends gossiping. Usually, the atmosphere would have Ace feeling envious and drained, but that night everything seemed to add to her good mood. Peter, had taken his usual stance of quiet bystander, adding only severe nods of agreement where due; at Sirius’ outburst came a burst of loud laughter that had the attention of the group in a moment.

“That doesn’t stop -“ a surge of simultaneous yells from the other boys cut Peter off mid thought. 

Ignoring him, Ace flaunted another smirk, “why not?” 

If it wasn’t for the noise of the common room, the sound of James’ exhale would have been deafening. A vein throbbed in the centre of his forehead, a clear indication of the anger rising within him. 

The sight of it only had Ace’s smirk deepening, “I mean, what’s not to like?” Putting stress onto each word as she spoke, leaving no room for interjection, Ace went on in the same teasing tone. “He’s tall... very good looking, you know.” A pause hung in the centre of the words, if the boys wanted to interject their words escaped him. “And he smells, like _so nice._ ” The serious whim cracked and Ace bust into laughter, to which James’ throbbing vein subsided immediately. 

“She’s having us on! You aren’t crushing on Regulus at all!” 

“Oh, look he does have a brain cell in there,” Ace laughed easily, throwing her head back for good measure. “You’re all bloody idiots.” The four of them blinked, passing looks of disbelief and resolute relief. 

“This doesn’t answer our questions, why were you with him?” Sirius demanded, bringing the conversation back to the topic at hand. 

“Bloody hell, we’re potions partners! You lot need to get a grip,” Ace giggled. The remark wasn’t a lie, but also not the entire truth. But Ace hadn’t a moment to dwell on that because she’d turned an accusatory tone to Remus. “Anyway, Remus - why didn’t you just come over and ask if you were so bothered?” At that moment, James, Sirius and Peter shared a look of twisted embarrassment on behalf of their friend. James nodded swiftly towards an empty table only a couple of feet away, leaving Remus under the scrutinising gaze of Ace.


	11. Cracking the Code

_Sunday 31st October, 1975_

The evening was eventful to say the least and Ace went to bed feeling pleasantly drained. Regulus had spoke to her... he’d _drew_ her... made her look beautiful through lines on a page and he’d made her feel so good. It was a feeling that was sure to last a lifetime. 

Regulus had the world glowing in refined colour, shimmering with the omnipresence of an optimism that even the Marauder’s hadn’t managed to break. Then there was the resolution with Remus. Well, Ace hadn’t felt so chuffed in a long time and the feeling lasted, pulling into the next week growing with every early morning meeting with Remus and an evening link up with Regulus. Ace’s routine was thriving and so were the feelings she couldn’t quite decipher, but she knew one thing for certain; her evenings were never quite long enough. 

Despite their potions project not beginning until at least the beginning of November, the pair had come to an unspoken agreement that they would meet in the library at the end of the school day. There they sat, tucked away in the depths of the room, where they could laugh freely, chat without prying ears and allow their friendship to bloom.

It had been strange at first. Instinctively, Ace had slung back in the conversation, allowing Regulus to take the lead. After the third meeting, she had grown used to his blunt questions as he attempted to delve deeper into her life. She no longer started when he took a seat at their table. She stopped looking for the hidden scorpion’s tail in his words and began accepting the pure kindness he emitted. 

Soon their conversations surpassed small talk and interest. Funnelling into a deeper nature; family, friends, feelings. By the end of that first week, friendship came all at once. Ace and Regulus had found a friend in one another. Equipped to one another’s personalities, like it was second nature. Both would find themselves in anxious awaiting for the evening to come and whilst they waited, they settled for stares that lingered a second longer than necessary. 

The illicit meetings would bring a feeling Ace wasn’t accustom too. A heavy drooping in her chest; she hated to imagine it as similar to the one she felt when night came and the only company she knew was her thoughts because this feeling was buoyant and bright; filled with his tender smiles and rich forthcoming kindness. She found herself grinning until her cheeks hurt, laughing until her stomach ached; listening until her arms tingled and scalp prickled. 

Some evenings, her tongue would run away with itself. Admitting things she had never spoke aloud. And Regulus would pluck a similar experience from his own life, not to focus the attention to himself, only to adapt normality to Ace. 

They talked as if they had knew no other friend. She never feared talking too much because Regulus would listen. With bright eyes, leaning inwards, soaking up her words. She told him of her friendship with Florence Catchpole; how she had found a friend that inevitably found better. Leaving her high and dry, friendless and alone at twelve years old. And Regulus spoke of his feelings about Sirius; coming to Hogwarts, basically brother-less. How his friendship with Evan Rosier had took the brunt of that pain. The boy he had known since he was a child, stepped up, and acted as a brother should. 

They shared their shortcomings in life, too. Ace’s insecurities and how they spouted from James’ effortless greatness in everything. She idolised him, once. And now, there were some days she couldn’t see the boy he had once been, taken over by an obnoxious saboteur. Regulus described his loss for Andromeda; a cousin who left the Black family to marry a muggle born; he had felt abandoned. The only one to see him for more than he felt. 

More so, the pair shared the light and airy; thinking of the times they had felt the best. Sharing segments of childhood; Ace’s vegetarianism and how it had descended from James’ graphic depiction of how the animals came to be meat. Regulus and the frequent visits to Uncle Alphard’s house as a child. The man had favoured Sirius, Regulus did not mind. He enjoyed seeing someone favour Sirius for more than his status as elder brother. Best of all, it had been the place he’d fallen in love with drawing. 

It was as if Regulus had ignited a fire that had died long ago in Ace. Happiness came easily, as did laughter and optimism had its way of following. The mornings were brighter and the nights prettier, the days no longer exhausted her every nerve and she even had more capacity for her brother and his friends. Even Dana Oswald hadn’t got on Ace’s nerves as much, although Ace had perfected the habit of avoiding the Ravenclaw’s at all costs lest they ruin her happy streak. 

The holidays were dawning, beginning with the Halloween feast. A Friday evening filled with heaping plates and light hearted chatter; even Ace joined the festivities, her plate topped with a heaving veggie burger and chunky chips. Jack-o-lanterns lined the table in intervals, glowing through carved mouthes and gaping eyes. Jokes flew and so did the laughter and ghosts floated offering stories of their Halloween’s on earth.

Ace found herself wondering why she avoided dinner so much in the first place, James and his friends were good fun and they did make her laugh. And the food was divine as always, although she did tend to struggle when deciphering the vegetarian meals from the meat. Nevertheless, Remus’ good sense of smell saved her from the accidental consumption of meat. 

“Well, Ace, any guesses?” James asked, a mischievous twinkle glistening through his eyes. Ace shook her head, amusing him with a loud laugh. 

“I’m not contributing to your dirty centaur joke - we’ve all heard it enough before!” 

Her brother only laughed, before finishing the joke and gaining a chorus of laughs to go with it. Dessert came, and James insisted on Ace having seconds of everything - though she could barely manage a bite of each cake.

As if on instinct, Ace ran her eyes along the Slytherin table every so often; allowing her mood to pick up at the sight of Regulus laughing with his friends. He seemed somehow different with them, less like himself, well the boy he was when with Ace. 

In classes Regulus had a tendency to be boisterous and robust, giving a new meaning to ‘boys will be boys’. He’d go out of his way to have the class laughing with loud jokes cracked from a place of damp unhappiness. Fourth year had produced a new side to Regulus Black; a laid back young man, with little care for rules and lessons. If Ace knew any better she’d have put it down to the typical rebellious streak that strangled most teens at their age, but she did know better. She knew Regulus in the dim light of the library as the dark of night dawned on them, drowning his obnoxiousness, leaving a vulnerability Ace would never tire off. She loved digging deeper every evening, slowly furrowing through his layers eager to reach the gooey core and finally figure out who Regulus was. 

Still, she enjoyed watching him as he laughed with his friends. As if she were a third party, completely revoked from an opinion on him - as if they were estranged and yet to meet. Their eyes met across the hall, steel on bronze, smiling from behind their goblets. A tiny movement from Regulus had Ace giggling in an instant. 

All he had to do was raise his goblet ever so slightly and she was back in the potions classroom earlier that day; reliving a joke that wouldn’t be funny unless you’d been there. A wise crack on necking a freshly brewed draught of living death - it wasn’t funny, but it had been. They’d been doubled over until their stomachs ached, the more they tried to hold their laughter at bay the deeper it got and the longer they laughed the funnier the joke became. 

“What is he looking at you for?” Sirius demanded, glaring at Ace accusingly. “And why the bloody hell are you laughing?” His steely eyes were enraged. At a mere glance they were like Regulus’, almost identical in shade and shape, but Ace no longer associated the pair as the same. The more time Ace spent with Regulus the more she realised the pair were very different, in more ways than their looks. 

“Inside joke - you wouldn’t get it,” Ace responded flippantly, laughing gently at the thought of potions class. A chorus of scoffs sounded through the boys. James looked positively disgusted at the thought of Ace sharing jokes with Regulus. “He’s very funny, you know.” The statement was a simple one. Spoke in an attempt to defend Regulus, though Ace was fully aware anything she said would fall on deaf ears. 

“Funny?” Sirius deadpanned, “ _funny?”_ He repeated with ostentation that was remarkable even for Sirius. “He’s a swine! And he’s clearly stealing my defining personality trait - honestly, Ace, I don’t know what you’re playing at laughing at his jokes.” With that Sirius was off down a rabbit hole and Ace could do nothing, but listen as Sirius disputed their blooming friendship. The words went in one ear and out of the other, Ace couldn’t figure an ounce of truth from Sirius’ words. He sounded oddly like James when he felt less favourable towards Ace. 

“We’re just potions partners... it’s not that deep,” Ace said finally, cutting Sirius off mid sentence. 

She was greeted with looks of disbelief, looks that had every right to be there. There was nothing more to it, she insisted. But she knew there was; the evenings spent with Regulus under the premise of ‘studying’ were nothing of the sort, since their project didn’t begin until the following week. They were friends... weren’t they? Isn’t that what friendship looked like, meeting during free hours, talking for hours about anything and everything. Conversation flowing without a second thought and laughter, lots of uncontrollable laughter and... lingering stares... and silent wishes that the hours could last like days, wondering how they flew by in seconds... 

*

_Thursday 4th November, 1975_

Ace thought she would welcome November with open arms, as it came with the prospect of spending time with Regulus. Time that they could excuse for potions work without lying. Which was all well and good, of course, there was nothing Ace enjoyed less than lying to her brother’s and Remus... especially Remus. There was always a millisecond of doubt in Remus’ eyes when Ace told him where she had been for the evening, a moment of disbelief before his eyes crinkled into a kind smile. He knew there was no truth in her words and Ace hated that. She wished she could indulge on her new found friendship with him, tell him how Regulus was nothing like Sirius described, that he was kind and thoughtful and well, he was bloody amazing if Ace had to put it bluntly. 

At least she didn’t have to lie anymore, but there was the small factor of potions work. They actually had to study during their time together now and Ace began longing for the nights dowsed with lies. But she knew beggars couldn’t be choosers and she wanted their friendship to last even if they had to study. 

“How about we take a break?” Regulus asked, drawing Ace from the thoughts that were dampening her mood. Greeting him with a smile, Ace managed a small nod. “That was quite a thoughtful face there... what were you thinking about?” His tender words had butterflies grappling for dominance. 

“Nothing of significance,” Ace decided with a heaving sigh of content. Regulus looked unconvinced, he always seemed to know what Ace was thinking, sometimes even before she did. Rain pattered at the window pane, tinkering away as did Ace’s thoughts. They had been overwhelming today. Since her evenings had been taken residence by Regulus, the harsh thoughts didn’t come so often, but they were still there, hovering. And tonight they held more presence than usual. Bearing down with a weight Ace couldn’t shift and Regulus sensed it. The look he gave her wasn’t one of pressure, but gentle concern and Ace found herself smiling lightly. 

“Want to talk about it?” 

She shrugged slowly, “it’s stupid.” Thinking of how to explain herself, a blush crept to Ace’s cheeks. “Do you ever get that guilty feeling you can’t explain?” 

For a long moment Regulus was silent and Ace knew she must sound ridiculously stupid, but it was the only words she could find to describe it. Emotions came in waves for Ace; at times she was well aware of her sensitivity and how it must look to other people. Other times she was almost grateful for it. 

“Could you possibly expand?” Regulus asked with gracious interest and a small smirk of amusement. 

“Like... when you’re worried even though there isn’t anything to be worried about?” 

Regulus raised his head in half a nod, before falling into a rigorous nod of agreement. Their eyes met in silent understanding and Ace found the worried feeling reducing ever so slightly. At least she wasn’t going insane, that was always a perk. 

“Yeah, I get that... like when I’m nervous for a Quidditch game, but there isn’t a Quidditch game.” This time Ace broke a smile at his odd analogy, grateful still that she wasn’t alone in her feelings. “Sometimes it’s there when I wake up and I just want to stay in bed, you know?” Ace nodded slowly, half of her grateful, the other half unbelievably sad that this amazing boy had to feel the way she felt. “Ever get panic attacks?” 

The question came suddenly and for a moment Ace was shocked, blinking slowly she managed to shrug. In truth, she didn’t know how to answer. There were times Ace felt overwhelmed to the point of panic, but she would never place her feelings into a panic attack. She’d heard of people having them - gasping breaths, intrusive thoughts, the inability to speak coherently. She’d had all those symptoms before, but never together. The thought of a panic attack was so far fetched to Ace, it had never occurred that she might have had one. 

“I get them sometimes,” Regulus admitted it so quietly, like he was almost embarrassed of the fact. Ace’s stomach contracted at the thought, she wished she could make him feel better. Let him know that there was nothing to be embarrassed about, especially not in front of her. “It’s not always an overwhelming sense of dread, you know.” 

“I think I get them too... but I’m not too sure,” Ace murmured, flitting over his features for a moment. He looked so calm, so considerate of his words. And she had never felt more attracted to him. They spoke as if they were the only people in the world, discussing feelings that were held secret and close to their hearts. Ace couldn’t get enough of Regulus and the feeling was mutual; each of them longing to know more and dig deeper into the others mind. The homework was abandoned, resorting to their preferred way of passing time; talking. 

*

_Friday 12th November, 1975_

Standing in the oval floor mirror, Ace took a moment to observe her appearance. Had she lost weight? She hoped so. Maybe then Regulus would find her pretty... pushing the ludicrous thought from her mind, Ace drew her mind to more important topics. A party. She’d been invited to a party. It had happened in the library and the ordeal was still shocking to her, though Ace wasn’t certain what had shocked her the most: the fact that Regulus had Hufflepuff friends or the fact that they wanted Ace at their party. At first she’d been hesitant, parties weren’t really her forte, but a couple of calming words of assurance from Regulus and Ace was more than convinced. 

Taking the stairs two at a time, Ace padded into the common room to meet Remus. It had taken about as many words to convince Remus to attend the party as it did for Ace. Seeing Remus poised in his usual armchair was enough to calm the raging nerves. With a quick greeting and an odd warning from Sirius, the pair set off to the Hufflepuff common room. Palms sweating and heart going ten to dozen, Ace followed Remus through an entrance of barrels into the cosiest room of yellow and black.

The Hufflepuff common room couldn’t be more different to Gryffindor; for one it was much quieter, though Ace imagined that was due to the absence of the Marauders. Even with a party gathering, the music wasn’t blasting and there was no shouting or screeching. Perhaps it wasn’t the same sort of party that happened in the Gryffindor common room. 

Tilly, the girl from earlier, had said it was a small get together. Fourth and fifth years mainly; a few drinks, games and chilled vibes, she’d said. Even the brief explanation had Ace feeling jittery, small parties were a lot less private if you thought about it. Everyone knew everyone; gossip flew from mouth to mouth; no matter who you spoke to, laughed with, drank with, everyone would see. At least that was Ace’s presumption, but wading their way into the common room, it was apparent that the party wasn’t so small after all. The Hufflepuffs common area was sparse, stretching wide with select lounging areas of overstuffed sofas and netted chairs made for comfort - groups milled around the areas drinking and moving to the music. People drifted around greeting one another with chinks of their bottles and loud laughs.

Smoke curled through the air as did the scent of alcohol, infiltrating all five of Ace’s senses. She wasn’t much of a drinker and she certainly wasn’t a smoker, but neither of the smells charged too much bother in her. Flitting over the groups of students, Ace moved close to Remus hoping she wouldn’t loose him amongst the groups. He seemed to be leading them towards the drinks table, which was always a suitable starting point at any party. 

No one seemed to notice their arrival, nor did they seem to notice how out of place the pair looked; Remus had attended many Hufflepuff parties over the years, but had always been accompanied by the Marauders. The four were never far apart, it was surprising that they had parted even that night. Ace was certain Remus would have invited them, though she was certainly glad he hadn’t. Ace, however, hadn’t even set foot in the Hufflepuff common room prior to that night. 

“Drink?” Remus asked as they came to a stop by a table ladened with ice buckets and bottles of assorted alcohol and mixers. Clearing her throat of second hand smoke, Ace managed a nod. The nerves had eased, but she still felt hot to the touch, wondering when she’d spot Regulus amongst the crowd. He promised he’d be there... after all, he’s the entire reason she’d attended in the first place.

What if he ditched?

What if it was some big joke?

What if he was in his dorm laughing at the thought of Ace alone at a party right now? 

“You made it!” The exclamation had Ace barrelling back to earth, she hadn’t realised Remus’ departure to the other side of the table to fetch drinks, nor had she saw the emergence of the Regulus. Standing in front of her, dressed in monochrome black tartan trousers and a rolled turtle neck jumper that did wonders for his becoming chest, Regulus wore the widest smile Ace had saw yet. “And you wore... well, they aren’t the striped tights, but I suppose they’re a good second.” Nodding towards Ace’s trousers. They were the standard bell bottom style, skin tight from the waist to knee before flaring into a fun curtain of fabric. Wide rainbow stripes patterned the material, partnered with a tight cropped style top that exposed the tiniest slither of Ace’s midriff. Even that much skin was brave for Ace and she was beginning to feel self conscious. 

“Can’t be wearing the same thing two weekends in a row, can I?” Ace joked, meeting Regulus’ smile with one of her own. Flushing again at the thought of Regulus’ interest in her fashion sense. And flushing deeper at the fact he made her feel brave enough to wear the outfit in the first place. “I didn’t think you were here, I was beginning to think you ditched me...” 

Regulus barked a quick laugh, raising a lit cigarette to his lips before taking a long drag, explaining that he would never do such a thing on the exhale. The cigarette, Ace hadn’t noticed, nor had she saw the bottle of fire whiskey on first glance. She should have presumed the drinking, it was a party, but smoking? Regulus didn’t look like a smoker. 

“I didn’t know you smoked.” 

He shrugged lightly, brushing the end of the ash of the cigarette into the seemingly empty fire whiskey bottle. “Only socially... I hope it pisses off my Mother.” At that Ace laughed, shaking her head at his rebellious attitude, but knowing fine well Walburga Black would never catch wind of her youngest sons rule breaking. “Do you want one?” 

Blinking suddenly at the question, Ace shook her head a little. “Er - no, thank you...” The blush crept back up her neck.

“That’s cool. Drink?” He offered instead, receiving another shake of the head. A gaiety laugh came again, this time Ace felt no embarrassment because there was nothing to be embarrassed off. Regulus would never allow her to feel less than and she knew that then. “So, you don’t drink... you don’t smoke... come on, Ace, _no one_ \- not even you - can be _that_ perfect!” 

As always laughter came easily to Ace when paired with Regulus. “I am so far from perfect!” 

“Prove it,” he quipped, “tell me, Potter, what’s your flaw?” Her surname sounded strange on Regulus’ lips since he’d taken to calling her Ace, never Potter.

Pausing for a moment, Ace flicked a coy eyebrow, “I swear,” she said simply. To which Regulus threw his head back in a loud and challenging laugh. 

“You do not! I have never once heard you swear!” And then they were laughing, so hard neither noticed the impromptu return of Remus who had taken his merry time fetching drinks. 

The three were the most unusual grouping and Ace was fast to realise her mistake of bringing Remus and how obvious she must look to him. There’s no way Remus would believe her flippant excuse that a random Hufflepuff had invited her now. Not now that he was face to face with Regulus, the lasting smile still etched onto his features. Clearing his throat, Remus handed a bottle of gilly-water to Ace, simultaneously running a haughty glare over Regulus. Who only closed his lips in a musing smirk. 

“So, you brought Lupin.” The phrase was given in a nonchalant fashion, but anyone in ear shot could have heard the underlying tension in Regulus’ tone. Shifting in her platform boots, Ace managed a nod. 

“Couldn’t well come alone, could I?” Shooting a nervous glance over her shoulder, Ace was met with a look that told her Remus had cracked the code she’d desperately tried to hide. “You two can play nice, right?” She added hastily, glancing between the boys - Remus’ haughty glare as stiff as Regulus’ smirk. 

“Of course,” Regulus provided with satisfaction, “but next time: I’ll happily escort you if you’re worried about arriving alone.” A low grumble erupted from Remus, who quickly cleared his throat. 

“It’s fine.” Another nervous glance towards Remus, matched with a soothing smile, “you don’t mind, do you, Remus?” Pressing his lips into a firm line, Remus managed the tiniest of smiles, before nodding contemplatively. 

“If he keeps his mouth shut, I won’t,” Remus muttered, glaring into the eye of the bottle of butter beer he was gripping a little too tightly. 

“Calm down, Lupin, we’re all friends here,” Regulus smiled devilishly, in that moment he looked unsettlingly like Sirius. “Come on, Ace, I’ll introduce you to my friends - suppose you best tag along, Lupin, can’t be leaving you to your own devices.” With that Regulus turned, leading the way through the common room and towards a wide circular table set with drinks and red cups lined in a pyramid position. A small group of wizards and witches were gathered, bantering loudly emitting the best sound of laughter Ace had heard in a while. Just from seeing the group, it was apparent they gelled easily and were close knit. 

Falling back into step with Remus, she offered him a smile of apology. “Could’ve just said he was going to be here,” Remus whispered, flicking half a nod towards Regulus, who’d slowed to a stop at the table and was chatting to a fair haired boy. Ace shrugged in response, claiming that Remus knew exactly why she didn’t mention Regulus’ being there. Thankfully, Remus hadn’t a moment to reply as Regulus ushered the pair over. 

“Firstly, I’d like to make a public apology about the presence of Lupin, but he’s here now and there’s not much I can do about it,” Regulus began, addressing the group before him. A quick wink shot towards Ace, who shook her head at him. Not daring another glance at Remus, who had tensed beside her, Ace focused on the group.

The five friends were the strangest concoction you’d ever see; the blonde haired boy Regulus had been speaking too wore a toothy grin, which only enhanced his freckles. There were loads of them - freckles upon freckles, but what startled Ace the most was the blueness of his eyes. A real periwinkle blue, like a fresh spring sky. She recognised him from her classes with Hufflepuffs, but for the life of her, Ace couldn’t put place his name. To his left was Matilda McDougal - the round faced girl from the Library, who had the decency to invite Ace to the party - she was remarkably pretty, with sparkling doe brown eyes crinkled into a kind smile that never seemed to leave her face. Ace took a moment to appreciate her outfit, a simple button down denim dress and deep red tights. Stood over the other side of the table, a girl with choppy, candy floss pink hair and piercings over her eyebrows and nose was hissing quietly to another boy who had a remarkable resemblance to her - facially anyways, his hair was a natural russet brown and his round face was piercing free. 

Regulus went onto introduce his friend, Amarticus the freckly boy, Tilly the kind girl from the Library - greeted Ace and Remus with a hug, claiming as she did that she was in fact, a hugger - and then there was Celeste and Silas the twins who were arguing, apparently they did that a lot. Ace smiled widely, bubbling at the thought of being introduced to Regulus’ friends. Those who she hadn’t even known existed until that afternoon and she was eternally grateful that Regulus had encouraged her to attend the party because she had a blast.


	12. Crossroads

_Friday 12th November, 1975_

The party was an amazing change to Ace’s usual mediocre social life. It was truly refreshing to laugh with people who weren’t making jokes at her expense, smile and chat like they’d been friends for years. Ace settled amazingly amongst the group and Regulus for one, had a swelling pip of pride lodged in his throat. She seemed so alive that night. And again, he found himself relishing in every moment. Even the presence of Lupin hadn’t wore on him as much as he thought it would have. But the night was still young. 

“Ever played beer pong?” Regulus asked, flicking his eyebrows at Ace, who provided the fact that she didn’t drink as an explanation. As if that would get her out of participating in the game. Tutting loudly, Regulus guided her to the table beside him. “You’re on my team. Don’t worry, I’ll take the drinks - but I doubt there’ll be many to take,” he added with a taunting smirk towards Amarticus and Tilly who had taken their place on the other side of the table.

A warm feeling spread through his fingers as they pressed tenderly into Ace’s lower back. The feeling of her skin was like suede and it had his jaw tingling, though that may have been the effect of alcohol. Perhaps a dual response, even, but the warm feeling on the back of his head was one provided by neither his feelings for Ace or the drink he’d consumed; it was fed by a glare from Lupin, who’d taken a seat and had yet to move from it. In contrast, it was the alcohol that had Regulus shooting Lupin a smirk of satisfaction. 

Lupin narrowed his eyes, curling a lip of disgust; as if warning Regulus to move his hand before he was made too. A soft chuckle broke in the base of Regulus’ chest, flooding out as he turned back to the game, his hand resting firmly on Ace’s lower back. Lupin’s glare didn’t shift, fed by the thoughts of the night so far; Amarticus had undoubtedly dropped Ace and Regulus in it providing a flippant remark about their time spent in the library and how Regulus was a changed man for it.

Regulus should have expected that much... Amarticus was the only person he had indulged on his thoughts of Ace too; he was the only person close enough to him who wouldn’t judge him for it. Who wouldn’t tell him that Ace was blood traiting scum and he was too, by association. Being the man he is, Amarticus was all for it, singing the praises of Ace’s Herbology talents like it made her a perfectly adequate crush. Nevertheless, Regulus didn’t want the information dumped into the ears of Remus Lupin. Even if the implication was indirect, Lupin was a smart guy and sure to connect the dots after that night. 

“I can’t do it,” Ace cried in indignation, shaking her head as the small ball pinged of the edge of a cup for the third turn in a row. “Show off,” she muttered, nudging Regulus as he tossed the ball with flawless aim. 

“I’m not a seeker for nothing,” he winked almost conceitedly.

The laughs flowed as did the drinks and soon Regulus was blissfully ignorant to Lupin’s presence. Until the last cup remained on the opposing team. Amarticus leaned inconspicuously against the table, eyeing the ball in Ace’s poised hand. Regulus knew the look well, his mate was awfully competitive and would do anything to stop the ball from landing in the cup. Narrowing his eyes in warning, Regulus whispered a word of warning to Ace.

“He’s gonna knock it out of the way.” To which Ace grinned in response, the same gleam casting through her eyes. They were awfully close as they conspired and Regulus had to fight every urge not to kiss her right there... he won the urge, of course... he couldn’t do that, not there... not in front of Lupin... or could he? 

A second longer and he’d have cast his head down and pecked her right on the lips, but something in him compelled him not too. Instead, he guided her hand into a smooth toss. They watched as the ball sailed over the table, bouncing once before landing with a small splash into the last cup. The group erupted in correlating yells of admonition and victory. Regulus whooped in gratification, hooking a friendly arm over Ace’s shoulder as she jumped with pride. Her laughter was like music to him. Settling around him in peaceful warmth; he’d never seen her so excited. And he loved how she could be this way in front of him... in front of the friends he’d given her. Throwing her head back with astonishing mirth, Ace laughed loudly. 

“Merlin, Ace, calm down!” Lupin laughed from his seat in the corner. Shadows basked over his scarred face, deepening the smile. The statement was one of flippant amusement, but Regulus saw as the light in Ace’s eyes flitted before extinguishing completely. Her smile was still prominent, but her feet had come too a stand still. A small passing comment. Thoughtless and indescribably selfish. Her friend, so she said, yet he had no idea how to treat her. Was he not aware of how personally Ace took things? Did he not realise the lasting effect of his flippant words? Did he not appreciate her like Regulus did? 

Gritting his teeth in indignation, Regulus’ arm tightened instinctively over Ace’s shoulder. “You’re fine, Ace,” he murmured, quietly, but loud enough for Lupin to catch the lasting words. A tight lipped smile and a nod from Ace was all Regulus needed to know that Lupin had dowsed her fire. The fire he had worked so hard to light. The fire he wanted to see burn for the rest of his days and Lupin had extinguished it. 

Ace was truly amazed at herself. She’d had barely any doubt creeping upon her during the party. For the first time she truly let her hair down and had so much fun. Perhaps it was the ease of the Hufflepuffs that allowed this new side of Ace to venture from where she had been hiding. Or better yet, the presence of Regulus away from the confine of the library that had Ace feeling how she did. Either way, she barely had time to register how late it was getting because the feeling of social exhaustion hadn’t come. Ace had grown used to the ticking time bomb that was her state of mind and most nights she allowed it to romp free until it was time to escape to her dorm. 

It was almost Midnight when Ace slumped into a chair beside Remus, where he had sat unmoving for the majority of the night. She was greeted with a tight smile that had her stomach pulling with guilt. During her freedom of feelings, Ace had forgot about Remus. He’d been so quiet the entire evening, he could have left and she wouldn’t have noticed. Suddenly, her inner clock had stuck time and the exhaustion pounced on her. 

“Are you okay?” 

Remus gave a nod that was hardly convincing. “It’s getting late,” he said, nodding towards his watch. 

“If you’re tired Lupin, feel free to depart. I’ll ensure Ace gets back to her common room in once piece,” Regulus chimed in from somewhere to the left of Ace. She hadn’t realised how close he’d been standing. But she wasn’t surprised, the pair had been inseparable the entire evening. They were like the dynamic duo, bantering with the Hufflepuffs and getting into heated debates with the twins about which magical creature would win in a fight. 

“No one asked,” Remus replied flatly.

Not for the first time that night, Ace’s eyes flew between the pair like she was watching an intense Quidditch match. Every time a conversation had sparked between the three, Regulus and Remus wasted no time in biting at one another’s throats. Which had her feeling peculiarly divided. Remus the closest thing she had to a best friend and Regulus... well, what would she call him? She didn’t know, but it was compelling and the need for them to get along was strong. 

“But I am prefect, so it would be bad for me getting caught out after curfew,” Remus said in a lowered tone, turning to Ace completely now. At that Ace managed half a nod, understanding his hint. 

“Yeah, we should get going,” Ace decided, speaking to Regulus now. Who swallowed hesitantly before nodding. Then his angular features broke into a dazzling smile. 

“No worries. I’ll see you... er, tomorrow, right?” 

Ace nodded, returning the smile with a gaiety one of her own, “you will, have to get them essays done, haven’t we?” She added briskly. Though the need for it was gone, Remus had peered right through her facade. After goodbyes were exchanged and hugs Ace was pleased to receive, the pair of Gryffindor’s left for their own common room seven floors above. Luckily, the corridors were deserted; prefects duty was long since completed and the teachers, alongside Filch the caretaker, were most likely asleep in their chambers by now. 

By the time they reached the fourth floor, Ace was beginning to wish they’d meet someone because the silence was truly deafening. She wished Remus would say something. Anything. Yell at her for pretty much lying to him. Even his yelling would be better than his disappointed silence. As if reading her mind, Remus spoke into the open air. 

“You could have just told me, you know? You didn’t have to lie...” he trailed off into a bleak and abrupt silence that had Ace feeling guiltier by the moment. 

Clearing her throat along with the reeling thoughts, Ace peered into the darkness hoping to catch a glimpse of Remus’ expression. He didn’t sound angry and that was almost worse. He must be past angry and falling into the oblivion of hatred. “I didn’t think, really... I sort of forgot there was angst between you two.” 

Smiling bitterly into the darkness, Remus met Ace’s eyes. They had slowed to a snails pace now, dragging the walk to the common room out for what seemed like an eternity. “So, are you two actually potions partners, or is that a lie too?” Remus could do nothing for the bitterness dripping from his tone. 

“We are - I didn’t lie, Remus... I just bent the truth a little and you can’t really blame me, can you? Look at how you acted tonight.” 

“How I acted? He’s an arse! And unbelievably arrogant, may I add.” 

A few moments passed whilst Ace mulled in her own disappointment. All she wanted was for her good feeling to last, but again, she’d messed everything up and hurt Remus in the process. “He’s not like that, really!” She added as Remus struck her with a disbelieving look. “Honestly, I wish you could know him like I do. He’s really, really sweet and kind and funny -“ 

Ace was suddenly cut off by Remus, this time there was no angst or bitterness prominent in his tone. “Alright, I get it - you two are friends now... but, have you even thought about Sirius whilst you’ve been gallivanting with his brother?” Despite the lack of bitterness, there was sadness there. Unbearable sadness. 

Ace drew a long and shaky breath, shivering slightly from the breeze of the corridor, she shuffled along beside Remus raking her brain for a way to make this better. No resolution came, in stead she came to ask, “please don’t tell him.” 

“Don’t make me keep a secret from my friends.” Remus’ tone was barely a whisper now. 

“I’m not asking you too, just don’t tell them... I will, when I think it’s best... I just can’t stand the thought of hurting Sirius, he’s been through so much. I think this might hurt him.” Admitting the thoughts that crept in the deepest of night aloud, Ace suddenly felt deflated. 

What had she been doing? Sneaking around with the family Sirius had been as good as disowned from. The boy she’d thought of as a brother for the last, how many years? And this is how she treated him, with lies and deceit. No, that wasn’t fair... but it was necessary... it was a necessary evil because if she kept it from him it meant no one got hurt and it meant that she could stay friends with Regulus... Selfishness had never been Ace’s forte, but she was beginning to think that perhaps it was time she put herself first. 

“I’m sorry, Remus - for tonight, I didn’t mean to-“ They’d made it to the common room now; the embers of the fire were dwindling to a low burn and the room was long since empty. The pair stood at the bottom of the dormitory stairs, facing one another for the first time since being in the basements. Remus shook his head, before stating that Ace had nothing to apologise for. Smiling with a tender sadness, Remus peered into Ace’s face wishing he could say something to comfort her, but nothing came to the surface. He was afraid that if he opened his mouth something he’d later regret would pour out. 

“Ace,” Remus called from halfway up the stairs, “don’t sit on this for too long... okay?” Through the dim light he caught Ace’s vague nod and then they departed. 

_*_

_Thursday 18th November, 1975_

Remus was nothing, but true to his word. He mentioned nothing of Ace and Regulus’ friendship to the other Marauder’s, as much as it killed him to do so, he stuck to the premise that the pair were just potions partners. They got along, like friends, but alas were nothing more. For the next week Ace hadn’t found an appropriate time to tell Sirius that his brother was much more than a potions partner. And truthfully she didn’t want to. She wanted to keep her and Regulus’ elusive friendship masked for as long as she could. 

So, she did. For the next week, Ace made excuses as to why the timing was wrong. Until one evening when Regulus took a seat beside Ace in the library. Right beside her. The scent of his cologne infiltrated her senses, encasing her heart in a concrete fist. His hair was curlier today - how did he manage to get it into flawless ringlets like that? It was something Ace could only dream of doing, the best she got was unruly tangles and tight curls flying away. He looked good too - flushed red from a cold night on the Quidditch pitch. The Slytherin captain was working the team hard this year, Regulus said, going onto admit the new captain was a little over the top in her methods of victory. 

Ace had taken the liberty of setting their homework out ready; the potions books were ready on their rightful pages and Ace was eager to begin, so they could finish the work early and have the rest of the evening to spend how they pleased. How had they completed three out of five essays already? Only two essays and a practical assessment to go and their project would be over... then what? Would they still meet? Surely they would. Ace was almost certain of that, what they had - their friendship - they couldn’t have that float away into nothingness. 

“You look nice,” Regulus complimented with a wide smile, shuffling into his seat until a comfortable position was gained. Instantaneously, Ace flushed under his gaze. There was nothing new about her appearance, apart from the extra effort she put into her hair and makeup these days, but she was just wearing her school uniform, nothing special. Nevertheless, tingles ran the length of her arms and butterflies raged in her stomach. “You’re blushing,” he teased, to which Ace simply shook her head digging her chin into her chest in an attempt to hide her face.

“Don’t ignore me,” Regulus mused. 

“I’m concentrating,” Ace murmured through tight lips, avoiding Regulus’ gaze; not from a place of hostility, but in a teasing fashion that had Regulus besieging her attention. The quill ran smoothly across the parchment as Ace came to the end of her paragraph, reaching for the ink pot that was swiftly taken from her. A word of complaint had Regulus chuckling loudly, his arm stretched wide and far away. 

“Would you stop,” she giggled, making a lunge for the ink pot - only for Regulus to push further away, sending Ace’s chest barrelling into his. They met with a soft thud, laughing all the way. 

“We can finish it tomorrow,” Regulus grumbled, peering over his chest and down into Ace’s face. His warm breath caressed the tip of her nose, from there she could see the suppleness of his lips and how they curved into a perfect fullness. Reminding Ace of the inside of a rose petal... she could imagine them feeling just as soft. 

“We?” The word came out much quieter than intended, like a hitched breath catching in the back of her throat. 

They stared for a long moment, eyes resting upon one another. Ace feasting on the sight of Regulus so close to her. Savouring the rise and fall of his chest. Longing for him to draw closer and swallow the gap between them. Their glances battled one another in a silent to and fro of conversation - his eyes darting from her eyes to her lips, until Regulus could no longer resist the urge. 

Just as he twitched into movement a voice broke through the air, shattering their moment into millions of icy shards. Taking a chance Ace gently reached for the ink pot, before falling back into her chair, facing the owner of the voice. 

The two boys stood with their usual haughty indignation; perfectly plain that neither approved of what they had fallen witness too. Under the scrutinising gaze of Jonathon Wilkes and Evan Rosier; Ace could barely function, yet she still managed a brisk glance towards Regulus. His prior expression of contemplative tenderness had been replaced by a stony shadow of an oncoming frown. 

“Alright, lads -“ he began, in a tone Ace wasn’t accustom too. The words were stiff and forthcoming, any trace of gentle adoration had been left for dead and suddenly Ace felt very cold. A low snigger channeled from the base of Wilkes’ throat - he was a small boy, lean and lithe, barely brushing Rosier’s shoulder - yet Ace felt every ounce of intimidation he was projecting. Wilkes was known for his venomous sneers and poisonous tongue, though Ace had never fell victim to either. Now, looking at Regulus’ close friends; who he had spoke so highly off; she couldn’t place where his fondness was born. 

“Don’t tell me this is where you’ve been disappearing too,” Rosier stated flatly, curling a distasteful lip towards Ace. 

“Potions project, remember?” Regulus replied coolly, though it was quite clearly a facade. “We’re just about finished -“ 

Just like that Regulus was gone from Ace’s side and the coolness he left was one she would feel deep into the evening. A short glance of apology shot over Regulus’ shoulder as he lead his friends from the library and Ace was sat to stew in how quickly their meeting had come to an end. 

Her homework was left abandoned with the promise she would return to it later. At that moment there was no room for concentration. Was she really that disposable to him? How could he so easily shunt their friendship into nothingness... but then, isn’t that exactly what Ace had been doing this last week, reducing their meetings down to just that - a meeting? Excusing their friendship as studying, lying to her family and friends. The guilt poured through her every crevice, as did the embarrassment. Wondering what Regulus would tell his friends - if he would tell them anything at all - would they even be convinced. What they had interrupted couldn’t exactly be excused as studying. 

The emptying corridors brought a breeze Ace welcomed. Bringing a chill that had her mind barrelling back down to earth. There wasn’t much else to think about after that, there was only waiting to be done. Waiting to see if Regulus would meet with her tomorrow, or if they would finish their essays and be done with it. Done with their friendship. That thought was overwhelming enough; bringing a numbness Ace couldn’t shift and wouldn’t be able to shift until she was safe in her dorm under the darkness of nightfall. 

Not for the first time, Ace hated the endearing walk up to the Gryffindor common room. The seventh floor seemed such a long way away; especially since the staircase had taken the liberty to move, sending Ace further away from her destination. A longing groan drew from the depths of her chest as she trudged up the rest of the stairs, coming into the charms corridor in hopes that a short cut could be taken. The thoughts that came were enough to shadow her surroundings, practically drowning Ace in her own misery. Following the corridor in impatient pursuit, she didn’t hear the murmur of voices and she didn’t see the group of Slytherin’s until she fell directly into their path.


	13. The Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ace falls victim to a nasty hex.

_Thursday 18th November, 1975_

“Well, well - looks like you’ve got a stalker, Reg. What do you say to that, mate?” Rabastan Lestrange, his voice low and grumbling. The words seemed to stretch, reaching even the deepest corners of the corridor. The sound sent Ace tumbling back into the reality she had mistakenly stumbled into. The group stood, stretched across a deep window pane; compelling arrogance and mean faces, each drew with cool smirks and obnoxious grins. Cold eyes and patronising glares. 

A slow swallow scraped the back of Ace’s throat, the feeling like sand paper. On instinct she found herself reaching for her wand, closing her fingers around the familiar handle. The wood was warm in her palm and subtly calming. The promise of safety if the events turned an ugly shade of red. 

Regulus, tall and angular amongst them, the lines of his eyes deepened with a worry only Ace could detect. It was then she realised how deep her mistake had been. She should have been more careful, listening for her surroundings, perhaps she should have stayed on the staircase until it chose to move again. Then again, how could she have known? How could she have predicted walking into the path of Lestrange and his gang; how could she have known that Regulus would have lead his friends to them? 

Aurelius Avery, thin in body and morals, drew an agonisingly cocky smirk - flicking an eyebrow towards Regulus. “Fancy her, don’t you?” Flashing a wickedly menacing smirk, Avery made the unmistakable gesture for his wand. A murmur ran through the group, lead by Lestrange as usual. Their vehement laughter, though particularly quiet, was deafening. 

“Come over here, Potter.” Spoken like a statement, with an air of command. 

Narrowing her eyes in challenge and straightening her spine, Ace stood tall and proud. The distinct impression of a true Gryffindor flooding through the corridor. 

“Oh, piss off, will you?” The words poured from Ace’s mouth before she had a moment to contemplate what she had just said. And her tone, snappish and haughty with indignation, if it wasn’t for the circumstance she had found herself in, she would have been proud. For a moment, Ace could have sworn she noticed a ghost of a smirk sneak over Regulus’ features. The thought of this only added fuel to her fire.

”Touchy are we?” Lestrange sniggered, “I say, we take a peek at Potter’s underwear, eh? You’d like that - wouldn’t you, Reg?” 

The next few moments rushed in a flash of light; if asked later, Ace wouldn’t be able to answer who had drawn their wands first; herself or Lestrange. But the body binding curse flashed from the end of Ace’s wand, encasing Lestrange in invisible binds, fusing his arms to his sides. And then he fell with a small thud to the floor. 

As if on cue, Mulciber took a distinct step forward, wand ahead of him and a face like thunder, but it wasn’t him who cast the spell that had Ace suspended upside down in the air with her robes falling over her head. It took all her remaining energy to keep her skirt from doing the same, the wand slipping from her fingers in the process, hitting the flagstone with a clatter. 

The group erupted with malicious laughter. It took more energy than Ace cared to admit to stop her from screeching Regulus’ name and begging him to do something - anything - to stop them. But she knew then that he would do nothing. Regulus stood with a stony expression. And the Slytherin’s laughed, whooping that Ace should give up holding her skirt and give Regulus what he wanted to see. Blood rushed to her head until it pounded remorselessly. 

It was hell. Utter hell. But she didn’t scream, she didn’t want to give them that satisfaction. Just as Ace was praying silently to a Lord she knew didn’t exist, a new voice joined the party, casting a disarming charm to whomever had Ace suspended in the air. And then she was falling - face first, hands down onto the stone. Palms scraping and cheeks bruising - but she was back on the ground. A heaviness weighed on her head as she lifted herself from the ground, eager to see who had saved her. 

Remus. Of course, it was him. Flushed red with rage as he fired another spell at whomever had shot the curse. Then he turned yanking Ace from the floor so she was standing on unsteady feet beside him. His hand warm over her upper arm, grasped with a firmness that she appreciated. 

“Got yourself some competition, Reg,” Avery teased.

Lestrange, however, thoroughly enraged at being disarmed, dived for his wand, raising it with fierce ruthlessness that scared Ace. Another curse was shot, Remus blocked it with ease. The group must have been making some racket because some seconds later, Professor McGonnagall rounded the corner her firm voice shocking the pupils. She stormed with rage, emerald robes billowing, like a shadow of anger following her into battle. 

“Wands down! NOW!” 

Almost reluctantly the boys let their wand arms drop to their sides; glaring with ferocity. In that moment, Ace risked a glance at Regulus who had found particular interest in his shoes. And her heart ached for him; ached for him to care for her, like he did for him. Wishing he had stopped this before it had gotten so far. He was her friend... or so Ace had thought. 

“Are you alright?” Remus murmured, eyes wide with concern. Ace was shaking now, leaning into Remus for support, afraid her legs would just give up entirely. Nevertheless, she managed a small nod, her eyes never leaving McGonngall. Her heart weeping with a gratefulness she could never articulate. 

“What is going on here?” McGonagall’s voice seemed so loud in the silent corridor, the echo shattering against the cold stone walls. When no reply sounded, she lead the group to her office, where they stood on opposing sides - the Gryffindors shoulder to shoulder and the Slytherins grouped in a merciless mob, guilt free and only concerned with the fact they had been caught red handed. 

“It wasn’t us, Professor. It was Potter, she’s obsessed with Regulus-“ Lestrange drawled, dark eyes glancing towards Regulus - who was stood attempting to look inconspicuous beside him - hoping for a bite that never came. Regulus’ expression remained unreadable and Ace found her heart weeping with pain once again. But her eyes rolled of their own accord. An incomprehensible bitterness rising in her throat, marking graves of the words that died in her throat. 

And he had said she had no back bone. 

All the feelings that had choked up Ace’s heart those previous weeks. Every inch that had been taken residence by Regulus. Each nerve that had been touched by him in the most pleasant way; had vanished. Any feelings she had for him were gone, the respect Regulus had managed to mount, disappeared. Their friendship was torn, scattered and broken and Ace could do nothing, but watch as it crumbled, disappearing through the cracks in her heart. There’d be no coming back from this, she knew. 

The Slytherin’s were put to silence by McGonagall. A swift raise and swish of her wand and McGonagall had produced a stunning, silver cat from the tip of her wand, streaking from the classroom carrying a message for Professor Slughorn. Who took his merry time in answering. In time the story came to it’s climax, beginning with Ace’s rendition of the tale, though it was quickly cut short by blatant lies from Lestrange, who had taken residence of spokesperson for his team of morons. It was plain to the Professor in which was the truth; especially with the reaction placed by Remus Lupin. Who immediately saw red as Lestrange dived into his inexorable tale of deceit. 

The Slytherin’s were sent from the room, with the order that they must stay in the corridor or be victim to the wrath of McGonagall. Remus and Ace were left in a loose air, finally cooled with the absence of the Slytherins. A tight, yet tender sigh pushed from McGonagalls tight lips as she studying Remus in his seething anger. Cheeks flushed red as he considered the events that had unfolded just minutes before. 

“I must ask for you to restrain yourself, Lupin, or I will be forced to isolate you -“ a short and well placed pause extended, until McGonagall began speaking again, “now, please, your story, Potter.” 

She knew this moment was coming, yet Ace couldn’t place the grievous words. Each time she mustered up the courage they died on her tongue, until she looked pleadingly at Remus, who heaved a heavy sigh before indulging McGonagall in the fact that Ace had been hexed and if it wasn’t for his prompt arrival he dreaded to think what else would have happened. Positively pale with rage, McGonagall called the Slytherins to court as they came, so did the arrival of Professor Slughorn; in his usual jolly demeanour, only hardened by the fact his evening tea had been disturbed. Slughorn, in his blissful ignorance, was unaware of the tension in the room and the anger illustrated on his colleagues face. 

With flaring nostrils of contained anger, McGonagall made a sound none of her students had heard before - a severe strangled burst of rage. “These boys! THESE BOYS! Have violated another student, Horace. I insist that they are to be severely punished. Letters will be written home to their parents; they should count their lucky stars that I am in no place to expel them... that honour falls to you.” An air of sophistication fell over McGonagall as she came to the end of her outburst. Clearly estranged by the hysteria that previously possessed her, McGonagall went onto to fix Slughorn with a stern look. 

Plainly flabbergasted, Slughorn shook his meaty head, “surely not, Professor McGonogall...” he trailed off, taking on a look of displaced pride, “some of my best potioneers, you know. Dear, Regulus, here - he has a real talent!” For Ace, this was a moment to pull the fixed gaze from her feet and up towards her attackers. Immediately drawn to the ebony head of Regulus, looking pale and precocious, with no hint of guilt or upset - no hint of anything at all in his expression. So she stared, daring Regulus to look at her, bring his silver eyes to hers and own up to his mistakes right there and then. Of course, that never occurred. 

Moments later, the Gryffindors were dismissed - the Transfiguration teacher eager to keep the Slytherin’s in her mitt’s a moment longer and encourage the Potions Master to take a serious outlook on this. Despite being dismissed, the pair took a stand outside the door, listening through the key hole. Though the outburst that followed could have been heard from Hagrid’s hut, “BOYS WILL BE BOYS!”, and the moment they heard Slughorn’s pitiful stutter of an apology they took their leave, laughing all the way. 

As always the common room was a flare with it’s perpetual welcome. Encouraging the pair through its archway and down to the fire where Sirius, James and Peter were sitting, seemingly in deep discussion over a large piece of parchment. From a distance it looked to be lined with in-cohesive squiggles, but if you were to step a slight closer, you’d be bewitched with a delight - the trio were sketching a map. Unfortunately for Ace, her arrival was premeditated and the parchment was bundled away. 

James, usually observant, took an immediate sense that something was off. An event had taken place and he for one was eager to find out what had went down, but nothing could have prepared the boy for what he was about to hear. 

Rightly so, they were outraged. Sirius, much unlike James who always took a pace when stressed, remained silent and seated. Barely a word of consolation moved past his lips, this only had Ace’s nerves jumping. Unusually, Ace was the calmest of the bunch - her mind had yet to catch up and so the adrenaline took charge, bringing her the energy to take on James. His level of anger was measured only by how fast his hand was running through the dark tussles of his hair. 

A low growl emitted from the base of James’ throat, until he came to a stand still in front of the fire. The golden light igniting the fearsome look on his face; “I am going to rip their heads off - I swear to Merlin, if they ever come near you again -“ and then he turned, greeting Ace with that fearsome look. Flinching at the sight of him, Ace sunk back towards Remus who had taken a stand as she did. 

“I told you, Ace.” Their heads as if on springs, flicked towards Sirius. His silence finally broken with a low and miserable tone. “I told you to stay away from him.” She couldn’t meet his eyes. They were too much like Regulus’. And that wasn’t what Ace needed then. She didn’t need to be reminded of what she’d done, the mistake she’d made. But there was no avoiding it. It was plain in the way Sirius spoke that he knew - he knew Ace had been lying now and he was well aware that the Slytherin’s actions weren’t born from coincidence. 

In his usual strategic tone, Remus stepped forward with earnest eyes, “Sirius - this isn’t the time.” A tender look shot towards the Potter siblings. Ace had sunk back into the sofa in an attempt to disappear. Head resting in her palm, hair covering the most of her face. Remus’ gentle words had more of an effect on Sirius than anyone else - there was something in his tone that gave him the gravity he needed. Allowed his mind to stay put and not give way to the darkness that settled beyond. Even so, ones comforts can only bind so far and Sirius was too far gone. The rage, the embarrassment, the grief; was all too much. Like, he was walking along the edge of a knife, Sirius was bound to fall. 

“Isn’t the time?! Tell me, Remus, when is the time?! Considering the pair of you are clearly lying about something. And you have the audacity to tell me IT’S NOT THE TIME!”

Tears beaded the back of Sirius’ eyes. Drama was his forte, but only when it was unnecessary. Rarely, came a time when Sirius really lived in his anger. Coming first through his eyes and the tension of his muscles, followed closely by the inability to think straight. Then the words poured without thought, tearing from his mouth bringing a bitterness he thought he’d left at his childhood home. Suddenly, he was a child again - powerless against his parents and family - reverting to the habits Sirius was sure had died long ago. But again, he was powerless. The emotional generosity he’d gathered over the years was abandoned; fists hung tightened into balls, but his tongue brought more pain to Ace then they ever could. 

When times like this arose, it wasn’t Remus who managed to calm the embers of rage within Sirius, but James. Who had been there through all of his turmoils. The one who was present when the boy arrived broken in the foyer of the Potter Farmhouse that previous summer. Who had bore witness to the unholy savagery Warburga Black had inflicted on her eldest son. James had been left with the pieces and God was he going to put them back together again, whether it be the last thing he did. So, when he noticed Sirius slipping, he was the first to jump to his aid. Using words of comfort, that allowed Sirius to find himself once again and understand that his anger was born from pain and sadness; James allowed his friend the chance to find love in that moment of anger. 

And when Sirius did, he too fell motionless into the armchair, head buried into his hands not daring to look at the girl across the coffee table. James called her name and when no answer came, he took the seat beside her draping an arm over her shoulder. Reluctant to take his embrace, James tugged gently until the girl fell into his chest and soft sobs took her body. 

“It’s alright - we’ll get them back, okay? They’ll never hurt you again.” The whispers came thick and fast into her curls, only bringing harsher sobs from Ace, who laid broken in her brothers arms. Unable to function at the thought of Regulus and how he had broke her heart. 

The night only brought a deeper sorrow. Darkness had a way of doing that for Ace. There was a silence out there that told her of a cold world. A world with no remorse, one that would tear her down at every chance it got. Ace had always been slipping down a spiral; one filled with a numbness that had always been more friend than enemy. Filling her senses with the promise that if nothing else were to be there for her, the numbness would be. 

But then Regulus had came. He had looked at her and he had really saw her - for everything she had been blind too. He began pulling her from the sloping spiral. Gathering height until she was suspended on such a breakable thread, swaying over that pit, but she was out of there. Until the thread broke. She had suspected as much all along. 

But when Ace fell, it was nothing like she had expected. There were no foot holes too slip onto and no crevices to pull on, only darkness as she fell. Would there be an end, Ace didn’t know. She only fell. Wondering when the bottom would meet her. How would it feel to hit it? To finally reach rock bottom because that’s where it lead, didn’t it? That’s where the numbness always lead. 

A nifty silencing charm cast on the curtains of Ace’s four poster allowed her the privacy she so desperately needed. When Ace broke there was no stopping her; like a torrential gale submersing her every atom as they screamed. The notion that her feelings were private and no one could hear her pain was no consolidation. From her mouth came a cry so raw, there was nothing to do, but plug it with the casing of the pillow. Gagging herself in hopes it would subdue the pain that fractured her chest. She cried with such ferocity, like maybe the sheer volume of her pain was enough to reverse what had happened and bring her Regulus back. The Regulus she had known and came to, well, love; not in a way where her heart belonged to him, but in a way she cared; was long gone. 

By the time sleep came it was the early hours of the morning and the sun was breaking the horizon with strands of marigold orange. It was almost good that Ace wasn’t greeted by the break of day, for the sight of the burnt orange sky would have brought another breakdown. Orange would always be his colour. 

*

_Saturday 19th November, 1975_

When his sister didn’t turn up for breakfast with Remus, James wasn’t at all surprised. He had at least assumed Ace would hide in her bedroom through the school day, considering she only had half a day of classes on Friday’s and half of them were with Slytherins. Even when there was no sign of Ace Saturday morning, James took it in his stride promising himself that she was okay and most likely enjoying a sleep in.

When the rumours arose James tried to guide them away, swallow them in insults towards the Slytherins. Mild gossip spread like wildfire through the corridors of Hogwarts, but a prank as heinous as that one, was due it’s course much quicker. The feelings of trepidation rooted itself within James; even he couldn’t control the mouths of his peers when they began to chat. Even if he took revenge on each of the Slytherin’s involved, it wouldn’t take away Ace’s pain. It wouldn’t bring her from hiding or numb the heart ache Regulus Black had caused. 

Raising from his chair, James padded across the common room with one sight in mind: a group of fourth year girls, sitting around a circular table as they indulged in the newest edition of _‘Witch Weekly’._ Upon seeing the fifth year heading towards them, Florence Catchpole indiscreetly straightened in her seat, brushing thin fingers through the golden tips of her hair. The movements went unnoticed for James who only had eyes for Angelica Skower and Shazia Zardari. There wasn’t much of a greeting when James took the remaining seat - spinning it round so the back faced the table, straddling the seat - nor was there when Sirius came and perched on the edge of the table eager to know what his mate was up to. 

“What do we owe the pleasure?” Florence greeted with an easy smile, the greeting wasn’t much of a concern to James, who allowed a momentary glance towards the girl and nothing more. 

“You owe us nothing, Catchpole. I’m here for Angie and Shaz, actually - come to ask a favour.” The snippy tone James gave was enough to have Florence slinking back into her chair. Her mood severely dampened, but risen by the sly wink Sirius flashed her. Despite his ominous dislike for the girl, James reluctantly clued her in on the conversation. It was hard to discuss such pressing subjects when a pair of ears were straining so wilfully to hear. 

“God, I wondered why she’d been hiding all weekend,” Angie crooned mournfully, burying her hands into her hair pulling distressfully as she did. “I had no idea.”

Shazia took an angle similar to Angie, thoroughly enraged that someone could do such a heartless thing to poor Ace, following into a mournful guilt that she hadn’t been there for her sooner; focusing irrevocably on the latter. James had suspected as much, the girls were sweet, much like Ace in that respect and he was adamant they were the right pair for the job of looking out for his little sister. 

Prior to his seat at the table, James had been inclined to believe that Florence Catchpole would remain indifferent to the news, if she hadn’t heard already. Over the years her relationship with Ace had been a rocky road, born from a rift even James knew nothing about. Only he was certain that it drew from Catchpole’s ability to make everything about herself. Including Ace. Their friendship was toxic and even James had eyes for that. The moment he was introduced to the girl a dire dislike, one that never ceased even when Catchpole took the initiative to find new friends. So, when she took an interest in his tale - James took the initiative to be weary. 

Like many others, the thought was short lived and disturbed only by the arrival of Lily Evans. Who placed a hand on her hip, eyebrows raised at James, as if he was once again up to no good. 

“Can we help you Evans?” Sirius asked, charming as ever. 

“What are you two up too? I hope you’re not annoying them,” she said evenly, ignoring Sirius’ cheek.

Ever since becoming prefect, Evans had begun taking the role like a saint. Always watching out for discomfort in the Gryffindor tower. Ensuring no pupil ever felt out of place, upset or lonely. Which was all well and good, but it also meant she had a prying eye on the Marauders. Not trusting them to do the same; and especially not trusting them to lose any house points for their escapades (even if Evans was responsible for decking the points most of the time). James appreciated her new found passion for rules; there was nothing sexier than a girl with a passion; even if it didn’t always benefit him. But right now, James felt none of the pleasure that usually came with seeing Lily Evans. 

“S’pose you haven’t seen Snivellous lately? Thought he’d fill you in on his extra curricular activities.” James spoke with more bitterness than necessary, patterned with a curling lip usually reserved for the likes of Snape. Clearly affronted by his unusual tone, Evans hands slipped from her waist, dangling lamely by her sides. Brow furrowed and lips pressed into a taught line. 

“I don’t see what Severus has to do with any of this, Potter. So, mind your cheek.” 

Channeling a breath of calamity. There was no use going off at Evans. It wouldn’t change the events of yesterday, nor would it change her horrid friendship with that slimy Slytherin. 

“‘Course Snivellous wouldn’t tell you, Evans.” Sirius took a stand, leering at Evans. “Honestly, I can’t believe your still friends with that creep!” 

“Any wonder why there’s a lack of inter house unity when you four are always riling up the Slytherin’s for no reason!” Evans snapped, glaring at Sirius, who only drew his head back barking a humourless laugh. 

“Riling them up for no reason? Go on James, tell her. Tell her what her precious _Sev_ was up to yesterday!” Sirius was well on his way to anger and James couldn’t think of a good enough reason to prevent it. Hell, he had every reason to join him, but it wasn’t Evans who should bare the brunt of it. The chivalrous need to do good clouded his anger and James too took a stand. 

“It’s not Evans’ fault that her friends a perv.” (Even James couldn’t resist a sly dig where it was due.) 

“That’s enough! He isn’t even here to defend himself and you’re both laying into him. Honestly, you’re both horrid!” 

James barked a laugh now. “I have every right to be angry at Snivellous! He _assaulted_ my sister yesterday!” Now thoroughly red in the face, James towered over Lily. Not in a way to intimidate the girl, but to try and get her to finally see sense. 

“Nothing to see to that eh, Evans?” Sirius spat. 

“What did he do to Ace?” Her voice was very small now, lacking all the previous holier than thou attitude. Very befitting, James thought. 

When all was explained, Evans needed a cup of tea to calm her nerves. Which placed the fifth years by the fire, finally away from the fourth years who promised to look out for Ace. James flashed them his winning grin, ( _“Knew my star keeper wouldn’t let me down!” He’d jeered at Shaz, who shook her head bashfully at the praise.)_

“I can’t believe that,” Evans said for what seemed like the hundredth time. She was positively pale in the fire light; which only made her hair burn brighter. She kept shaking her head and James couldn’t help, but imagine she’d be trembling if it wasn’t for the mug of tea clasped in her palms. 

“Well, believe it,” Sirius said grimly. 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Evans asked, green eyes wide with second hand guilt. James curled a grin, placing himself on the arm of her chair. She didn’t even tell him to move, which could only be a perk of the situation. 

“Absolutely, Evans.”


	14. The Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus demands justice & Ace begins a new habit

_Saturday 19th November, 1975_

Nothing could quite erase the guilt of that Friday afternoon. Even when Regulus paid a visit to Professor Slughorn; begging him for expulsion. The jovial man had grinned, called him admirable, but no, the punishment of two months detention was quite enough. Regulus hadn’t thought so. He deserved much worse. It was, of course, all his fault. He knew the risk when befriended Ace Potter earlier that term. Too arrogant to address the terms and conditions, Regulus allowed his heart to lead his endeavours and look where it got him. Look where it had got her. Sweet, sweet, Ace - who deserved nothing, but good things. When visiting Slughorn had come to no avail - he’d made a beeline for Professor McGonagall’s office. 

She was an imposing women at the best of times. But nothing could match how Regulus felt arriving at her office Saturday morning. So close after the events of Friday evening. No - best not to think about that before entering or he may just burst into tears and how horrifying would that be. He had to just get it over with. McGonagall was no stranger to punishment, she handed out detentions like they were going out of fashion; but this was different, no pupil would ever go asking for more punishment. Then again, no pupil had done anything as foul as what Regulus did. 

The knock was ear splitting in the silence of the corridor. In the moments it took for McGonagall to answer, Regulus had managed to seize up entirely. He could barely meet the women’s eyes when she called him into the office. How could he plead his case when he could barely speak? His lungs had contracted entirely and all Regulus could hear was the voice of his mother hissing in his brain. 

_“This is no way for a man to act, Regulus.”_

For once, Walburga was right. And Regulus straightened up, meeting McGonagalls foreboding gaze. 

“Mr. Black, what can I do for you?” Forced pleasantries, he expected that much. He deserved less. 

“Professor, I apologise for disturbing your Saturday morning.” Regulus began with all the charm and grace he had been raised with. McGonagall sat, with a posture even his mother would commend - straight back, chin raised and a haughty expression. The deputy headmistress never made it known when she disliked a student. She greeted each student of Hogwarts with the same stern expression, but Regulus knew what she must think of him. Pompous pure blood heir, too stuck up for his own good. She wouldn’t be wrong. Regulus scolded himself once again.

_This isn’t about you! You arrogant, son of a bitch!_

Clearing his throat, he met the women’s gaze. “I only came to ask if you could reassess the punishment -“ 

Plainly affronted and challenging a building rage, McGonagall’s brow furrowed into a scowl. “I hardly think two months detention is anything to complain about, Mr Black.” 

“Of course, Professor. I am quite agreeable actually. I have just been to visit Professor Slughorn, he won’t reassess expulsion. Or suspension, for that matter. I think he is acting rashly. My participation in yesterdays - “ Regulus paused, struggling for the words, “event - was a truly disgusting portrayal of character. Two months detention is not nearly enough punishment.” 

There. McGonagall was not a rash women on all accounts. She would see justice served. And justice should be served. Even if it meant his prospects were ruined; his parents would appeal, of course, but Regulus was willing to build a case too them as well. Anything it took, nothing could excuse his actions - or there lack off. 

“I’m afraid it is out of my hands Mr Black. Professor Slughorn has given discipline as he sees fit. Those directly involved will see punishment worse than yours - Lestrange has been removed from the Quidditch team and is facing suspension.” 

“But, Professor -“ Regulus was promptly cut off. 

“It is in my knowledge that you too, were hexed?” 

Regulus nodded. Consciously resisting a shiver at the thought of Evan’s wand pressing into his neck and the whisper of _‘Silenco’,_ promptly followed by _‘Coloshoo’ -_ tongue welded to the roof of his mouth, feet glued to the spot. He had tried to call out, tried to run too Ace, but it hadn’t been enough, he hadn’t acted quick enough. That was on him. It was all on him. 

“It was my fault, Professor...” 

McGonagall addressed him with one of her infamous stares - the ones that seemed to penetrate your soul. It almost reminded him of Walurga’s, but with more warmth and less of the mind reading. Placing the eagle feather quill onto the desk, McGonagall wound her nimble fingers together, sighing softly. 

“Guilt is a natural occurrence, Mr Black, and essential given the nature of yesterdays events. I doubt expulsion would benefit you in any way. Perhaps, an apology to Miss Potter and Mr Lupin.” 

There was nothing else to say, Regulus nodded. “Very well, Professor. Thank you for your time.” _Even if it was a complete waste._ He thought bitterly, leaving the office in the same swift fashion he had entered. 

It was a quiet weekend on all accounts. Regulus had yet to speak a word to Evan or Wilkesy. No doubt Evan had told Wilksey to let him brood. It wasn’t unusual for Regulus Black to sulk. It wasn’t very manly, but he couldn’t help it sometimes. Evan would let him seethe for a bit, until he inevitably brought him out of it with a good joke. This time, Regulus couldn’t see that happening. None of them understood his guilt or his irrevocable rage towards Evan for not letting him help Ace.

And right now, he didn’t want them to understand. It would hurt too much to admit his feelings for the girl. Course, Evan and Wilksey would be appalled; more Wilkesy than Evan. The blonde boy always had a way of giving into Regulus’ complexities even if he didn’t always understand them; he at least turned a blind eye when he had too. Wilksey, however, was prideful in his pure blood status and the superiority complex that came with it. Probably the side affects of being a lesser family; Regulus never had to worry about gaining respect like Wilkesy did, he received it every where he went because of his name alone. 

Sunday night rolled around and Regulus was still awake, despite going to bed early. It wasn’t often he struggled to sleep; especially at Hogwarts, where his mind seemed most at rest. Tonight, he was anxious. Waiting for the school week to return. When sleep did come, it was restless, haunted by her. The thought to take it as a sign came quickly and left quickly; perhaps he should give up on it, leave everything to do with Ace behind. It would certainly benefit her more. But Regulus couldn’t quite get his head around that; giving up on it. 

She deserved an apology. A real one. He didn’t want to plead his case or tell her how he’d tried to help; the only thing Regulus wanted to say was that she hadn’t deserved any of that. Regulus hadn’t deserved her time or her friendship. But friendship he had received. They’d gelled quickly and in seconds. Despite the complications that could (and had) arose from their time together; being with Ace was uncomplicated in the best way. For hours they’d talk and laugh and talk and laugh. Unaware of who spoke last, but cherishing each moment.

Regulus had spent a lot of time with girls that year; until he began reserving his time specifically for Ace. None of them could ever make him laugh quite as hard as she did; maybe because there wasn’t any time for laughing with them girls, it was always much more physical with them. 

You wouldn’t think by looking that Ace had a wicked sense of humour. But she did and it was great. It wasn’t just her humour that attracted Regulus - it seemed to be everything. Everything was better with Ace. Easier, even. It was easier to talk to her about his feelings (and there was a lot of those), easier to admit that he missed his brother and actually, quite hated his father. During all this Ace would listen, that tender crease in her eyes and then she’d smile and shake her head. Claiming she hadn’t any experience in that field, but assure him that he had every right to feel angry and upset and anything else he felt. 

Regulus honestly thought it would have lasted longer. Their friendship. Even if he couldn’t quite think of them times right now, he would look back fondly. Maybe now, he could watch her from a distance. And send all the thoughts and well wishes he so desperately wanted her to have. He didn’t want to think about making it up to her. Receiving forgiveness seemed a world away, impossible to reach and quite frankly, Regulus didn’t think he deserved forgiveness. 

Morning came and anxiety followed. Regulus showered quickly and dressed even quicker. Darting from the dorm without a glance at Evan and Wilkesy who stood waiting. They followed, like he knew they would. Whispering between themselves; no doubt Evan warning Wilkesy to mind his tongue whilst he sulked. Regulus still didn’t speak at breakfast; he hadn’t much of an appetite, but knew if he didn’t eat then he would be more liable to saying the wrong thing later. He left the table silently. And the boys followed, keeping their distance. He wished they wouldn’t; it’d only make it harder to catch Ace alone, if they were lurking about. 

*

_Monday 21st November, 1975_

It was worse than she could have imagined. The only thing worse than the pitiful glances from her roommates was the severe lack of conversation about Friday’s events. Where there should have been flying rumours, curious glances, maybe a few comments on the topic - there was nothing. Which only left Ace to wonder about what everyone thought. She would have much preferred to hear everyone’s thoughts and have the rumour die down in its own time. Maybe, people just didn’t have anything to say. It wasn’t that interesting if you didn’t know the full story (which no one apart from the Lestrange, his goons, Regulus and Ace knew). Loads of people got hexed in the hallways, never levitated wearing a skirt, but really what was the difference - it was all the same narrowed down. 

James and his friends were extra pleasant that Monday morning; waiting for her in the common room, walking her to her first class. Offering to meet her afterwards. Ace knew she should feel grateful, but to be frank, she never felt anything. Not even embarrassment. She was pretty numb that week. Even in the first class shared with Slytherins; Charms. Where the feeling of resent towards Regulus should be present, there was emptiness instead. 

It was fine, really. The class. Him being there. Even when a note slid across the desk; the curling handwriting all too familiar. That was when Ace began feeling again. Still, it wasn’t embarrassment or resent even, a feeling that should be perfectly acceptable. Only a slow build of anger. That pompous tosser. How can he be so brazen after everything? Thinking a note could fix it. Ace didn’t bother reading it, just shoved it into the pocket of her robes - save it for later, when the feelings would inevitably return and she could address them once again. 

When the bell rang for break, Angie and Shazia stood by Ace’s desk, all tender smiles and gentle words. They’d all been dorm mates since first year. Friendship hadn’t blossomed entirely; they were on good terms, of course. The three liked one another and got on well enough to share a dorm amicably. Sometimes that was enough. 

“You alright, Ace?” Angie asked with a thin, curly smile. Unable to conjure any words, Ace nodded. 

“Saw Black slip you a note. Want me to tell James? He’ll sort him out for you,” Shazia asked in that rounded North West accent. Trust Shaz to say something like that; she worshipped James, Gryffindor’s quidditch prodigy. And why shouldn’t she? The boy had talent. Much like Shaz in that respect, but Ace didn’t fancy hearing about James right then. She didn’t fancy hearing anything actually. 

“Nah, it’s fine. Just going to ignore it,” Ace stated evenly, shaking her head and making to leave the classroom. The girls followed. 

“We heard what happened,” Angie spoke slowly, unsure of what to say. “We just wanted you to know that we’re here, if you want to talk or anything.” 

Lovely girl. Ace wished she could say more, but all she could manage was a forced and strangely flawless smile. She’d had plenty of practice in that department, smiling when she didn’t really feel like it. The pair smiled in return, clearly grateful that Ace could manage one. 

“Thanks, girls. Really, I appreciate it,” Ace said breezily. 

“Heard James is going to get them back,” Shaz burst. “Been some bets passed about - when they’ll do it and how.” 

Ace raised her eyebrows in polite interest. The Marauders would use any excuse for a prank. They were masterminds at that sort of things, how they came up with them, Ace didn’t know. And how they executed them so perfectly, was a bigger mystery. Usually, Ace wouldn’t concern herself with their antics. She’d just remain grateful that it wasn’t her being pranked, but this time, Ace sort of wanted to know what they were going to do. The Slytherin’s certainly deserved it. 

“Yeah, bet it’ll be something creative,” Ace forced a laugh. The girls laughed too; Angie squeezed Ace’s arm affectionately before they made to depart. 

And for the first time that day, Ace was alone. The corridor was long since empty; it was break time after all. She wasn’t alone for long; as the Marauder’s rounded the corner. Feigned shock plastered ( _“Blimey, what a coincidence, seeing you here!”)_ Ace laughed and allowed James to get along with being a good sibling. It wouldn’t last long, it never did. But really, Ace was just grateful she wasn’t alone with her thoughts. 

By the time the school day ended, Ace was positively exhausted. But in a much brighter mood; Herbology had been the last lesson of the day, a double period, which was enough to brighten any day. The Hufflepuffs, always kind, seemed kinder that day. Especially Amarticus and his friends, who stayed behind to invite Ace behind the greenhouses. 

The back of the greenhouses was a famous location in Hogwarts; if you spoke to the right people. A favourite spot for smokers, of all kinds. It was also a place where trades were made; students selling sweets, knock off zonko’s products and the odd quill set; the real fancy kind that’d last you ages and strangely enough, muggle writing utensils. Alongside the more popular demands, like Cigarettes, marijuana and a multitude of other things Ace didn’t dare question. It wasn’t as frightening as Ace had imagined. Not really. No one noticed you if you didn’t give them a reason too. The school day having just finished meant the back of the greenhouses was empty except for two seventh years passing a cigarette between them.

Amarticus settled down against one of the stone panels, immediately conjuring a small tin box; where he began rolling a cigarette on the lid. 

“You know, I’ll smack him if you want me too, Ace,” Celeste, the punky, pink haired witch from the party, said shaking her head.

She too was rolling a cigarette, hers was very different to Amarticus’. A plain tobacco one, where Amarticus’ was no doubt laced with weed. “Little prick. Can’t believe him.” She went on, thoroughly enraged. Celeste had been the most vocal about what happened so far. Preaching about how Regulus needed to watch his back. Tilly offered kind smiles and looked as hurt as Ace felt. It’s not like she enjoyed hearing Regulus’ friends speak bad of him; but Ace couldn’t help, but feel like he truly deserved it. 

Amarticus was the quietest of them all - he’d offered Ace a smile and asked if she was doing well - but that was it. It was plain to anyone Amarticus felt betrayed by Regulus. And Ace could offer no condolences because she too felt betrayed. 

“Me either,” Ace agreed quietly, though she was so used to hearing that (after two hours of listening), she was much more concerned with the cigarette. It smelled good. They always did. This wasn’t the first time Ace had wanted to try a cigarette - she’d wanted to at the party, but with Remus’ prying eyes, she hadn’t dared. Now, behind the greenhouses, with the trustworthy Hufflepuffs, she couldn’t find a reason to say no when Celeste offered her a neatly rolled cylinder. 

“I’m never speaking to him again,” Tilly said, as she too took a long drag on her cigarette. 

“You don’t have to stop being friends with him for my sake,” Ace said gently. They all looked appalled. Celeste even choked on her fag. 

“Like I’d want to be friends with him after this,” she grumbled, reaching out with her lighter and sparking Ace’s cigarette into life. 

Ace didn’t reply after that, she was too busy hoping she didn’t look like a fool. It wasn’t as harsh as she expected. At least she didn’t cough. The taste was one she couldn’t quite place, but it wasn’t horrible. In fact, the more she smoked, the more that tight feeling in her stomach subsided. By the time the cigarette reached the filter and was ready to be stumped out, Ace was strangely disappointed. Now remembering why she hadn’t tried a cigarette before then - she knew she’d like them and that was going to be a problem. 

The group were still bashing Regulus. Still taken aback by his actions - or there lack off. 

“Thanks for that, Celeste.” Ace smiled at the group, a little forced, but necessary. Tilly reached out to hug her, Ace allowed it. “Don’t judge him too harshly...” Ace found herself saying. “It all happened a bit quick... I doubt there was anything he could do, even if he wanted too.”


End file.
